my mom is too reserved and overprotective. she never let me wearca jean, skirts...and forget capris and .......the bf ....only if i wear is by fighting with her all the time.
i feel lonely as she never understands i m a grown up!!she even starts crying
how can i manage this?
2006-06-23 11:24:48 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
You don't say how old you are, but by your grammar, spelling and sentence structure I would guess you are still under age.
Regardless, if you are living with your Mother and she is providing for you, you must respect her judgment and try to come up with a mature compromise, rather than whining and fighting.
Being respectful and mature will show her that you have the proper judgment to make these types of decisions for yourself.
Ask her, in a sincere, respectful and calm tone, why she feels as she does and tell her in the same calm and sincere tone why you feel as you do.
Ask her what she is willing to compromise on and start there. Then show her that you can be trusted to address her concerns and keep on earning more trust in order to make more decisions for yourself.
Good luck!
2006-06-23 12:03:23 · answer #1 · answered by LindaLou 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds kind of fu*cked up, but let her keep crying. She'll never know how you feel about her unless she starts to realize that maybe she IS being a little overprotective or too reserved. All parents want certain things for their kids they way THEY grew up learning it. As we know with each passing generation, things change. You are here in the now while your mom is still back in the 60's or 70's. She views things different than you and will continue to do so until a breaking point occurs. At that point, both you and mommy will stand back and reflect on what the hell is going on. I assume you're fairly young and it's normal for you to feel that was as 99.9% of all teens feel this way around that age. You feel lonley, so does your mom. Very similar to breaking an addiction or quitting some obsessive cimpulsive disorder, things have to "break down" in order for real progress to occur. If not, then you'll be, like me, with a mom who'll call you everyday, I'm 28, to see what you're wearing or how your hair is done or whatever, you get the picture. And whatever you do don't send a fu*cking email to your own mother. She's your mother for christ sake, not some a**hole you met at the mall. Treat with some dignity.
2006-06-23 11:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by YOU WILL BOW TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough when parents are over protective. but ill give you the best advice i can.
first and foremost. understanding.
understand that while yes you are not a little kid any more you are still her little kid. she loves you and though she may go a little over board at leats she is willing to be their for you and protect you. so in that case you should feel lucky. their are many parents that dont do anything in regards to their kids safety and well being.
second communicate.
talk to her like an adualt. take her out to lunch at her fave restaraunt or out to ice cream or some such. some place where the 2 of you can sit and talk then explain to her your feelings gently but firmly. dont beat her up with them just calmly explain them. then ask her what is at the root of her overprotectiveness. and how you 2 can come to a compromise on her conscerns.
its possible she may have had some bad experiences as a child or perhaps she grew up in a conservative household. communcate with her this may help you to better understand each other.
third and finally self understanding. understand that if you are 18 and over then yes you are an adult but you still have a long way to go. and A WHOLE lot to learn. trust me kiddo. one of my dads fave expressions and i take it to heart is this.
" when i was 16 i thought my father was the dumbest person god saw fit to put on this earth. but when i turned 21 i was amazed at how much the old man had learned in 5 short years."
we tend to forget as kids that our parents understand us better then we understand ourselves. they know more then we do form virtue of experience learning. theyve been in our shoes and had to deal with the same issues we have to deal with.
so just remeber dont make this an you against her issue. dont make it a war. all that can do is make you both miserable. try and understand her position, and communcate with her yours. give her reasons to trust you and to trust that youll be fine. if she worries about you going out give her a way to communicate with her ((cell phone or some such an call her to let her know where you are, who your with, and that your ok.))
thats the best advice i can give and that comes from 34 years of experience so take it as its worth.
best of luck.
2006-06-23 11:41:55 · answer #3 · answered by catsi563 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk calmly to her. Ask her to meet you half way on certain items you would like to wear. Show her that you can and will be mature.
2006-06-23 11:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by sean1201 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just send her an email telling her how u fell being treated likee a kid but don't yell at her or any thing if u do it will get even worse if u yell
2006-06-23 11:27:46 · answer #5 · answered by Angelina Jolie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound like a grown up!!!!!!!
2006-06-23 11:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋