Why do humans long to be loved by others?

Question

We come to this world alone and we leave it alone as well. Where does this need for friendship and love start?

Answer 1

I would say we want it so much because its the closest thing that we have to magic.

Answer 2

You don't come into the world alone you are born to at least one parent who gives you your first experience of love. Humans need to feel like they belong and are desired it is part of the human condition. People without love or who feel like they are alone and not needed do not thrive like those who do have love in their lives. It is not all the way true that you leave the world alone either. yes you are the one who dies but you have family or friends with you during this transition. Love and friendship are built into people from birth you are always interacting with someone so it is only natural you feel the need for love from someone if we did not need these emotions we would be no different than all the other animals on the planet.

Answer 3

As early as conception, we were members of society. Before we were born, doctors cared for us, farmers sold food to us (paid for by mom/dad/whoever), politicians warred on the premise that it would protect our quality of life. Heck, before we even breathe we've got a whole freaking world already working for us. After we die, those friends and family we had will continue to remember us, our estate will circulate through the economy, and eventually what we did will impact, however slightly, the most remote villages on Earth (or, by the time I go, hopefully Mars). We are never alone.

Humans are social animals because we would not survive independantly. We are weak, frail, vulnerable to the elements, etc. Our birth is already a very dangerous time for us and our mothers; it would be much worse if we were alone and unprotected. We're social so we can protect each other and so that others can protect us. Language evolved for us to better function socially, and our brains evolved to better exploit language. Feelings of love and a longing after friendship are ways that our species ensures we as individuals will continue to function as members of a society, merely so we can survive.

We weren't always as physically weak as we are now. Wild monkeys show how we might have been a few million years ago; more physically adept, and thereby less needy of a society to care for us. Some truly mighty animals, like bears or some sharks, show us how little a social life is valued when others are merely competition and no source of help. On the flip side, even more flimsy creatures, like ants, need to be a part of a much more structured society to survive; it could be argued that individual ants aren't even alive since they couldn't survive independently for long at all, but that the ant hive is itself a living creature of which ants are parts.

Answer 4

Do you want a religious answer? lol ...
Religion aside, we don't come to this world alone. We come out of our mother (quite literally) and are usually surrounded by family and friends. We're nurtured and cared for from Day 1. Therefore, we learn to crave this need.

Some would say the need is inherent, that even if you didn't have tons of people caring for you when you were little you would still long for it. There's definitely research that helps to prove this particular theory.

So yeah, the need seems to be ingrained into us from when we are born. Not surprising considering that we come out of our moms and are 'ooed' and 'awed' over ... let's face it, that's a nice feeling, just we want it in different ways as we get older.

As for a religious answer, God gave us this need for others and ultimately towards Himself. We were meant and created to be in community together.

The way you phrased the question though makes me think a) you're not religious and b) you're a bit perplexed as to why we need other people.

So there is my two cents.

Answer 5

because( do not like that word)...because humans have no idea how to love another at first place, so they longing that someone know and give that ability....the problem is that just a few really knows, but they are not among us. Just leaving general population in unknown direction, for some reason. Guess which one?

Answer 6

The fear of being alone and for acceptance by others. By being loved we can give love in return, mostly. We accept love when we are young and replicate it by role model projection when we are older. Its not an ideal scenario and its an individual perspective but its the best most people can offer. It is fraught with problems and pitfalls and yet there can be ecstatic heights scaled. Make of it what you can..........

Answer 7

from when we are babies...our parents teach us about love and affection. needing to be touched and held and loved. we grow used to this feeling I guess. Stands to reason why some people need affection more then others. Someone might of had a bad childhood. That might make them weary of love and affection. My best friend was molested by her father...it really messed her up. Her "need" for love and affection is skewed. It depends on what emotions are imprinted on us from birth to what behaviors we will exhibit in our adult years.

I like the quote from The Merchant of Venice

" The villany you teach me I will execute, and it shall go hard, but I will better the instruction ..."

Answer 8

Because, just as any thing that is made with some design, God created human being with that design of loving and being loved. And God (Jesus) Himself expressed that love even up to the extent of dying on the cross for man. when a person realizes that supreme love. He will be supremely peaceful.

Answer 9

it's what you and i really feel about love and hate ..humanity is betrayed by the creation of thousands religions that had the main roll in subverting our lives..belive me if love has ever exist truely between human beings, we could have shared a very unique life on earth ..i don't say that we don't have the abbility to love each other,but humans tend to remain on the evil side to prevent their wicked targets..at last ,without love and peace ,life would be a kind of unremembered ruins... i love humanity but why do they hate me ?? i need the answer although i know it !.

Answer 10

The feelings we have were put there by God. It makes you feel good to be loved and wanted. It is only human nature to reach out to others. Even people who are mean, just want someone to love and care for them, without something in return.

Answer 11

We do not come to this world alone, my friend. Humans are social creatures - but in the womb we can hear the sounds that are around us, including the voice of our mothers - and whatever arguments she has with our fathers! Seriously though - there was a study done once. Two groups of babies. One group of babies, when they were fed, were held, cared for, and loved - received lots of human touch. The other group of babies, were only fed, but not touched or loved or cared for otherwise. That group of babies, some of them died. This study was done in Sweden or some other Scandanavian country. Sorry I do not have a source.