Do you agree with the Ferber method of letting babies cry? Any other methods that work to help baby sleep?

Question

My doc says it's okay to let baby cry it out at night to fall back asleep after waking up, but I'm sittting on the fence with this idea.

Baby is 7 months old

Answer 1

Even Ferber, in his most radical, stated that his method shouldn't be used for a baby younger than 9 months old. He has also retracted some of what he wrote in his book. That should tell you something.

Crying alone is *not* good for babies. It causes the baby to release cortisol--a stress hormone--even after she/he stops crying. You should also consider what message the baby gets--that when she/he is totally dependent, the people who love her/him the most won't help. How would *you* feel if you came home one day in tears, and your husband told you, "If you *HAVE TO* make that noise, please go in another room. I can't concentrate on my TV show!!"? Crying is not good for a baby physically, emotionally, or psychologically.

Babies are still learning. They don't know how to go into the kitchen and make their own dinner. So you provide them with food. They don't know how to get themselves to sleep, either. They need to be helped to sleep, just like they have to be fed. By nursing or rocking your baby to sleep, you are teaching her/him that relaxing is the way to get to sleep. If you leave her/him to scream her/himself to sleep, you are teaching that the best way to get to sleep is to increase the stress. Which one will serve your child better later in life?

Answer 2

The ferber method only lets babies cry for a small amount of time.
have you looked into it?
It does NOT let babies cry it out.
This method starts slow and goes 5, 10 then 15 min between attending to them .
Look into it.
It worked after ONE night for both our boys.

Answer 3

It is a little unusual. i think the ferber method is used more with children who are born with 'colic" or chronic crying. Most children cry because they need attention. Most of the time, it's gas.
Children who have colic are a different case, but they still need attention. Children also fall alseep better, and longer, if they are fed just before bed. Infants over 4 months should begin eating rice, oatmeal, and other baby foods to help them grow-- It also makes them sleepy.
Oh, yeah -- and consult with another doctor, too.

Answer 4

Crying excessively releases stress hormones into the babies system. This causes their brains to develop differently than if they hadn't been made to cry it out. Babies cry to get their needs met, if they want to be held then they NEED to be held. A baby's first job is to learn to trust their care givers, and they will eventually stop crying so much because they learn that it won't do any good anyway....HOW SAD. The natural way for a baby to go to sleep is to be nursed and held close. A baby has no idea what kind of society it was born into, or that it's supposed to be a "good" baby and go to sleep quietly. Smack that Dr in the head and find a new one.

Answer 5

I never let my babies cry it out, I just couldn't do it and felt that it would interfere with a healthy secure attatchment. I studied infant child development and from personal experience, it wouldn't work effectively with my 3 children. My husband and I rocked, held and bounced our children for the first 6 months and they didn't depend on it later on or expect it. We always put them down at the same time every night and if they cried, we would go in and comfort them. They are very good sleepers now and I am glad I didn't let them cry it out. Especially for the first 4 to months of age. After they were about a year old, we did let them fuss but no longer than 20 minutes. It is all about knowing your babies cries and sleep training. Babies who are left to cry it out don't learn that secure feeling of falling asleep on their own. Some doctors are old school, get as much info as you can and trust your own feeling. It is your baby.

Answer 6

Although I NEVER let my babies cry, couldnt stand it, I dont see anything wrong with it once in a while....I did see a thing on CNN where he (Ferber) said he was wrong when he made that statement. Do a google search....funny, I think only the parent knows best for the child, each child is different and needs different parenting, so you decide. Good Luck!

Answer 7

my baby is 9 months old i used the ferber method but a less cruel one like 5 mins then 10 mins then 15 mins my baby ow goes to sleep without crying has no suckie any more and loves her space the crying part of it does not hurt your baby you should actually let your baby cry atleast 10 mins a day to exercise her or his lungs it's really heathly and it helps babies get some independace and learn how to comfort themselves I think i miss cuddeling her to sleep more than she does but this way is eisier if you do it properly

Answer 8

i tried this for a day with my oldest and after soothing him every 3mins, 4mins etc i soon realised that he was getting MORE upset by me coming and going all the time. So at the next nap time i didn't go in at all, and he was asleep with a smile on his face in 15minutes. Yes he did cry for a few minutes, but he settled and drifted off happily. He is 2yrs old now and still gets upset if i disturb him while he's trying to fall asleep. I kept his bed and room set up the same as when i was cuddling him to sleep. Keeping things as familiar and normal as possible. That means a muslin wrap, a pacifier and a music cd playing in the room. That's how he's slept every day of his life up till last month when he out grew a need for the pacifier.

Answer 9

There is a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Susan Pantley that you might like; the title is self-explanatory.

I ultimately came to call this book "The No-Sleep Cry Solution" because we found that unless you started the method literally on day one of baby's life and carried it through very precisely, it really didn't work. Ultimately, when we both reached our absolute limit of sleep-deprivation and my wife hurt her back so badly that she couldn't pick up the baby, we opted to take on a more "traditional" sleep-training method.

Our daughter started sleeping through the night, with very few interruptions, within 48 hours.

The other book to try is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It's not an easy read but is absolutely essential for getting back to good sleep patterns.

Answer 10

Only to a point- if your baby is waking excessively and all the basics are taken care of- full tummy, clean butt, etc., I would let the baby cry for a little while. If he continues for more than 5 minutes or so, go ahead and pick him up, let him calm down, and try again. After a couple nights of this he'll get the hang of calming himself down.