What do homosexuals want to be called now? Gay or Queer?

Question

I just want to know what is the correct thing to call homosexual men? Do you/they want to be called Gay, or Queer? I heard a radio interview that said they want to be called queer. I want to know what it right. I don't like to offend anyone.

If I'm introducing my friend, I don't say "hey this is my gay friend Bob". In my city is the biggest gay pride parade there is this weekend, and I've heard a lot of "gay" people refer to themselves as "queers", and some say they prefer the term. I don't want to label anyone, I just want to understand.

Answer 1

Most people refer to themselves as gay. People who call themselves "queer" usually do so for way-left political reasons and have a whole ideology about themselves, society, oppression, etc.

Answer 2

Tread lightly with "queer". Personally, I use it sometimes (usually as an adjective, now that I think about it) because it is more general / inclusive than "gay". It covers men, lesbians, bisexuals, as well as transpeople. There's also a thing where because "gay" used to refer to everyone, but there's this patriarchy thing going on, it's now a primarily male word, whereas queer is still pretty gender-friendly for everyone. If you're talking to someone and you don't know thier views or whatever, "gay" or "lesbian" is almost never offensive, particularly if it's accurate. Those more involved with the politics of it all are probably more likely to be using "queer".

Answer 3

When sexual orientation must be referenced for clinical purposes "homosexual" would be appropriate because it's a neutral, clinical term, or if it must be referenced for, say, political purposes, either "homosexual" or "gay" since the latter is concise. "Queer" may be in the process of being adopted by gays and lesbians as a term of endearment similar to the use of the N-word by some younger African-Americans in the wake of Richard Pryor, but it still sounds like an epithet that denotes weirdness, which may not be appropriate for gays who are conservative or otherwise do not fit the campy stereotype.

Answer 4

both are equally acceptable or unacceptable, depending on context.

I'm queer because I'm Bi, which differs from the "Norm". I am not gay.

Queer is a collective term for all us "freaks"

Now there's also that fad for calling things gay, when it's all gone wrong or is over the top. So it's undertsandable that many gays might choose to be known as queer.

Having said that, you don't have to refer to people by their sexual orientation at all.

Answer 5

If you are in a situation where you absolutely MUST use a labeled term for a homosexual....try sticking to "gay"....lest you get yourself slapped upside the face by someone who's offended by the word "queer".

Calling someone by their first name usually keeps you out of trouble.

Answer 6

I am not gay I am g0y so you would do better just to call us by our name. I don't introduce people as this is my straight friend James and this is my gay friend Terry. Why do you need to refer to us as queer or lesbian at all.

Answer 7

Why not ask 'em?

I'm a lesbian who doesn't feel very comfortable with the word "queer," although I recognize that some of my peers prefer the term.

If you're addressing someone who is "gay" (or "queer," or whatever they want to call themselves), it might be helpful to ask him/her what s/he thinks.

Answer 8

Probably gay or homosexuals. Queer would be derogatory, because you would be calling them strange.

Answer 9

I think it really depends on the person, who is saying it, and how it is being said. I don't really like labels but if you're going to use them-

Gay - Man who likes other men

Lesbian - Woman who likes other women

Bisexaul or Bi - Girl who likes guys and girls (and visa versa)

And there are other labels like queer, dyke, fag, fag-hag, bi-curious, lipstick lesbian and so on and so forth.

Answer 10

I know you mean well with your question, but I'm just curious: if you met a man whose sexual orientation was homosexual, do you think he would introduce himself to you as a" homosexual man" ? "A gay man"? Or would he give you his 'name'?