why do I think I am "in love" with people who are edgy and distant but not with those who are sweet and loyal?

Answer 1

because you want to be distant (emotionally) you don't want to take the chance on being hurt, or settle into a commitment and figure out you don't want to be in the relationship which of course results in you hurting someone. hence the guilt afterward. people who are edgy and distant don't expect as much from you and you don't expect much from them. self preservation is what you're going through. it's perfectly natural. we all have that instinct.

Answer 2

Maybe you are used to the edginess and the distant type. Maybe that is all you came in contact with for a long time and sweet and loyal is just not realized. i was like that once. i was so used to men cheating on me and lying to me but when i came to be with a man who is actually sweet, loyal, trustworthy, and honest i kinda felt like he was lying like the other guys and i was insecure. It will take time to get rid of. Just try to get to know the person and don't let them know how you feel so soon. If this person isn't the edgy distant type, he pretty much wont manipulate you and he will show you his feelings before you do. but, still, don't give in so fast and claim you love him.

Answer 3

You should find and purchase the book 'Getting the love you want' by Harville Hendricks. There is a wonderful explanaition of who we are and why we love the people we do. If you really want to know why you always seem to end up with the same kind of people, this book is a must read for you.

But if you do not enjoy reading, here is an idea; Most of us are attracted to people whom we believe are going to heal all the wounds we aquired during childhood. Basically, we are trying to find people who will 'complete' us like we were as children before society thought us to surpress our tendencies that are considered bad. So you are most likely to be attracted to people who have the 'positive' of your 'negatives'. For example, you may be shy and unconfident but you tend to be attracted to people who are outgoing and confident. In the same way, they are also very likely to have the 'negatives' of your 'positives'

I could go on and on but this should give you an idea why you are attracted to the edgy and distant people.

Answer 4

You probably live a quiet life, and are looking for a bit of danger to spice things up, a lot of girls do. But rather that doing something dangerous, the next best thing is to go out with that bad or edgy guy. Gives you that little extra thrill, that you seek. Gets the blood pounding in your veins.
You aren't really 'in love' with those guys, you just crave the thrill that they give you. It's as if you were an adrenaline junky.

Answer 5

I've been there and it reeeeeally sucks. What you cannot have will always attract you, but when you can have someone sweet and loyal......then you should change your mind. Though I know is damn hard to do it. Sometimes it will be just a matter of timing. If for example, you just broke up with your boy/girlfriend you won't want an everlasting relationship, at least not immediately.
So yeah, for me it's all about your last experiences.

Answer 6

I do the exact same thing. I am crushing on the edgy almost goth/punk type. Are you my long lost twin ?? I think its because we don't expect them to care about us. I also think we like them because it seems like they are playing hard to get. Even though we know they could care less. I also think we tell ourselves that we care so that keeps us liking them

Answer 7

mayb u r edgy and distant

Answer 8

You and me must be TWINS! I do the exact same thing. It's like we totally reject niceness and bring on the hatred because I am loving it!

Answer 9

Get the book "getting the love you need".

It will explain it all.

Answer 10

You thrive on the drama