I love my sister to death. However for last 25-28 years she is always unhappy with her life. First it was her health, then she went through a series of jerks who she thought were Mr. Right but played with her emotions; she married twice - first for two years and now for 12 years to a loser who is 15 years older than her and has never kept a steady job and mooches her ernings. Then she could not finish her education for a long time (she is way too briliant) but when she did from an IVY league University, there was no job to her liking. During all thses she was past the childbearing age.
Now she has a job at a very prestigious instituitionbut she lives in an area that is way too expensive so she can not afford to buy a house.
For nearly three decades se has complained about something or other and expects others to sympathize. She uses her complaints as baits and when some tries to console, pulls a guilt trap.
After all the years I cannot find sympathy although I love her. Is that wrong?
2006-06-23 09:11:30 · 9 answers · asked by dude 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
No, it isn't wrong. Enough is enough. Sure, it's your sister, but you have your own life, too. No one likes a whiner. It's not your fault that she's a pessimist who can't see the good side of anything. Maybe you should talk to her, and point this stuff out in a nice way. But it's not your job to feel sorry for her. If anything, being her brother, you should help give her that push she needs. It might take making her mad, but she'll thank you for it once she starts seeing how wonderful life can be if you just look at it a different way. I hope things get better, but in the meantime, don't feel bad that you don't feel sorry for her anymore. It's been long enough.
2006-06-23 09:18:51 · answer #1 · answered by *~*~*~*~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is fine to run out of sympathy, some people are toxic people who are never happy regardless of their situation. These people need constant reassurance from others and are very draining to be around. There comes a point in every adult's life where they have to take responsibility for their actions and stop acting like a victim. You should tell your sister that she is ultimately responsible for her own happiness and if she is unhappy with her life she has to find a solution that works for her. You are allowed to not be sympathetic and it does not make you a bad person.
2006-06-23 09:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by nswanson1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, it's not wrong at all. Sounds like she might just want people to feel sorry for her. But there comes a point in life after all the complaining and all the sympathy...you just have to pick yourself up and change things and make things better for yourself. My boyfriend was charged with posession one time and I felt really sorry for him, but when he got caught a second time and got arrested, he wanted me to feel sorry for him, but I just couldn't. I can't sympathize with people who repeatedly get burned by doing the wrong things over and over again. I'd cut your conversations with your sister short, and I would stop sympathizing with her. When she starts complaining again, cut her off in mid-sentence and say "Well then do something about it."
2006-06-23 09:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rightfully so you have run out of sympathy. Your honesty can help her to grown now. She is sickening herself and those around her with garbage dump thinking. The minute no one feeds her need to mope and complain, she will have to stop. Don't take her stuff anymore. Just be positive but firm in conversation with her and hopefully you will see a change. I have a family member who was miserable and full of moaning and groaning but everyone in my family finally decided to take no more. About 18 months later, his life has completely turned around. He still has hardship sometimes like the rest of us, but maturity and self confidence rather that self pity have lifted him up, thank goodness. Hope the same can happen for your sis.
2006-06-23 09:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister used to be like that but now she has a got better and i was getting tired of it but i started to spend a lot of time with her and visit her it was hard at first but now we get on very well
2006-06-23 09:32:22 · answer #5 · answered by ruedolf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its okay to get tired of a person making bad choices such as family. i understand you my sister married a guy just like your sisters husband. what you have to do is step back. its up to her to change her life. dont comment with her. have compassion in your heart dont be bitter but dont sympathze for what she know is wrong. ever heard of love from a distance? its not wrong for how you feel. you care for her but the veil needs to come off her eyes not yours
2006-06-23 09:18:35 · answer #6 · answered by lovelaungauge 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to find a counselor for ur sister.. try to persuade her to visit the counselor.. she needs to forget the past and live in present.. thats the only way to make the future better.
2006-06-23 09:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by masku darling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, you should ask god to help you out. and tell your sister dont give up. god will send the right guy for her when is the right time. and she could ask god to help her out with all of these things. be brave. and good luck on it. and God bless you both
2006-06-23 09:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by I Love My Friends 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to a shrink; he will help.
2006-06-23 09:32:11 · answer #9 · answered by BurntBeneathSun♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋