Why do gay men draw so much negative attention to themselves?

Question

In the real world and on this site, I hear a lot of people complaining about being treated different because they're gay. I think that if you are gay, that is your right. But, walking like a girl, talking like a girl, and acting like a girl is not natural. It is different and I don't have a problem with people treating gays that act like that different. You have the right to be gay, I believe that, but if you want to act more feminine then my sisters, I have a right to make jokes about you. If you are born a male, why pretend to be a female? It is an invitation for ridicule. And if you are gay and don't act like that, do you feel like the ones that do, which is the majority, give you a bad name?

to alguien- No, being born with a penis doent require you to like action movies, and being gay doesnt require you to talk with a lisp when ou dont have a speach impedement.

Answer 1

I guess it depends on the attitude involved.

Joking sometimes involves a demeaning attitude, or the sense that someone is "bad" because they simply exist.

But I think you're right. Said another way, there's a lot of hypersensitivity in the population, due partially to already feeling ostractized as well as it simply being one of the "negative" aspects of femininity that is being expressed.

(I would sum up the Politically Correct movement as "nurturing gone wild" -- over-stifling freedom and creativity simply to avoid the *possibility* of someone having their feelings hurt.)

Being oversensitive means that a person can't handle anyone laughing about him, unless it's himself doing the laughing. (I.e., gay people can joke about being gay, but straights are limited in what they "can say.")

Those standards are rigid and rather unfair, not making any allowance for the standard "joking around" that humans indulge in on a daily basis.

As for me, I always figured that if I wanted to dish it out or do something socially extreme/unexpected, then that was my right -- and it's also the right of someone else to be able to poke fun at me for what I was doing.

The world would probably be a merrier place if we could all joke in a *light-hearted* way and accept light-hearted jokes about ourselves -- the foibles and pecadilloes of being human.

And we should certainly be able to discus our perceptions about each other , rather than being unwilling to acknowledge them.

Answer 2

"And if you are gay and don't act like that, do you feel like the ones that do, which is the majority, give you a bad name?"

Man, you just open a can of worms with that last statement. The only reason why you notice the fem guys is because of the their overt behavior. There are so many gay men out there who don't behave effeminate. They are the guys in the military, on sports team, construction workers, cops, pilots, actors, and so many other occupations. Sometimes they listen to the sick jokes others make of gays and do everything in their power not to drop the person. Be care with the words!

Answer 3

I know what you mean about negative attention. Some gay guys do get pretty flaming or do all the leather and bare bottom hanging out. I don't however think they are the majority, it just seems like it because they are so visible. While I'm not all that thrilled by that behavior it is a free country as long as they don't break the law its their own business. I have to say a good drag show is quite enjoyable.

Answer 4

My wife has 2 gay cousins that i know pretty well. And one you couldnt tell he was gay unless he told you, And the other walks around in pink sandles, eyeshadow and short shorts...And i feel the same way about both of them, Although being seen with the Girly type guy is embarasing, As long as they dont hit on me im ok with them either way, But if i see a gay guy eyeballing me, Thats just disgusting in all the wrong ways.

Answer 5

Just what exactky does "normal" and "natural" mean? Sexuality is a spectrum, people fall on a whole range of complex personae, not one postion of which is actually normal, except for the individual person.

You don't need to feel ashamed of your obvious gay feelings towards other gay guys. The attractions you are feeling are entirely normal for you. Enjoy being gay and don't worry about other small minded people who should really mind their own business. Strut your stuff and be proud to be gay!

Answer 6

first of all, i am not gay.
however, i feel like i should bring out a sticky point or two...
1 - it's mostly a pride thing, a lot like the black is beautiful concept. you tell people long enough that they are evil and grosse and that they are a waste of skin, and you're going to get a reaction. either they will believe it and be miserable all their lives, or some instinct of self-preservation will kick on and tell them you're full of hot air, in which case they soon realize that because they don't go around spreading hate and making people feel bad, they are, in fact, a better human being than you. this leads to a sense of pride which is first expressed by ignoring such things in hopes they will go away, and eventually, when saturation sets in, in deliberately yanking your chain by acting as you expect them to act, because they know it ill gross you out and you'll go away faster. as someone who was made to feel like i should be ashamed of who i was, and has resorted to the same kind of response, i say more power to them. perhaps if you learned to judge people for WHO instead of WHAT they are, and to respect difference instead of thinking that difference is enough justification for ridicule, they would stop yanking your chain.

2 - some people are genuinely born in the wrong body. women trapped in a man's body will still dress like women, talk like women and act like women. that does not give you a right to ridicule them. unless you're prepared to pay for sex change surgery, respect the fact that they are in an awful position and leave it alone.

Answer 7

LOL... that "learned" walk is a kill. I know a gay guy that walked so normal & natural. He came out to a few friends and still walked normal, then he met a "Queen" and wham-o the wrists bent, the hips flew, and the shoulders shimmied. Too funny. He says he was gay from birth, but why did it take a "Queen" to make him act gay!

Answer 8

It is because of the negativity of the heterosexuals that causes the attention to the gay population.

Heterosexuals refuse to understand the gay lifestyle because they believe that their lifestyle is the only way to live; this isn't true, without the gays, life would be considerably BORING!!

We're just here to keep them from getting over conceited.

Answer 9

how very open-minded of you to accept difference in sexuality but completely ignore the changes in awareness of gender that have been going on for decades.

maybe you can't understand this, but i don't see my being born with a penis as requiring me to like cars and action movies and to sit, talk, and walk a certain way.

stop being ridiculous.

edit:
"they walk in the light of the devil"?
i'd laugh awhile if that weren't really insulting.

edit, again:
what's wrong with changing your behavior? everyone does it. for some reason, it's okay for a father to try to teach his son to be a "man", but it's not okay for someone to begin to behave in a more campy way?

think logically.

and again:
a lot of people apparently don't know the difference between words like "transsexual", "transgendered", "genderqueer", and "genderfuck." you should learn if you plan to keep living in this society.

Answer 10

You are crossing GAY with TRANSEXUAL in your statement/question...

gay men are believed to be more feminine because it is possible that they have more estrogen in them that straight men whohave more testosterone

now (most) transexuals are men who want to be women (or vice versa) and usually are in the middle of the operations or are genrally prostitues for men who enjoy anal sex (whether gay por straight)

I am christian and therefore I know God loves all his children so you should not tease, crack jokes or otherwise hurt anyone regardless of race, creed, color, religion, sex or sexual choice!

mayb God forgive you your sins