How does someone go about getting over stereotyping?

Question

I asked the following before, but need more responses so am rewording. My mother-in-law took money from a company owned by my husband and father-in-law. She would tell me about it but hide it from the men. I would give my husband a hard time because he worked 6-7 days a week 10-12 hours a day and I wanted a family, but he thought he was working for our family and wasn't. Finally he caught her four years ago and things only got worse. She said she wouldn't do it again, but did. He was a wreck over it and took everything out on me saying I was the same as her. Last year he stopped taking it out on me and stopped talking to her, but he still does not trust females and has not been happy since the revalation. It has really hurt our marriage even though I helped him straighten out the company and tried to emotionally support him. He won't go to therapy - they don't give answers. He says he wants to move on or learn to deal with it, but doesn't know how. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your situation. I've been there but with different circumstances. My husband had been burned many times and made the same generalizations about women. I put up with it for quite a while but then I'd had enough. I got in his face and asked him "What in the hell have I done to you besides love you, trust you and support you?" Have I ever did to you what the others have done? NO so stop putting me in the same group as these other (fill in the blank) and realize I'm ME and you better feel damn lucky to have me!" Sometimes men need a kick in the pants and you have to be very direct! Ask your husband "Have I ever lied to you? Have I ever cheated you? If he says NO then tell him " That's right because I love you and I'm not the one who screwed up, your Mother did and last time I checked I'm not your Mother, I'm your Wife!" I hope this helps and good luck to all of you.