Is this considered cheating?

Question

I met a very nice man that comes into my place of business every now and then.One day he invited me out for lunch. I was very apprehensive but I decided to meet him. After lunch he walked me to my car.I drove him to the parking lot where his car was parked. He lifted up my skirt and began to touch and insert his fingers where he should not have. I climaxed and then began crying hysterically. I am a married woman(4 years).He tried to calm me down. I just told him to get out of my car and he did. He has called me everyday to apologize. I feel so guilty.What do I do?

Answer 1

Why didn't you stop him from putting his hand under your skirt?

Answer 2

Wow, this is really a question for a professional, but here goes...

#1 - yeah you had a moment of TERRIBLE judgement.
#2 - it is cheating... not first degree cheating, but cheating none the less

I don't agree with the first answer.... sometimes telling on yourself isn't the best answer. Here's why I say it:

You first have to ask yourself, "why did I let that happen?"
Obviously, there's more to the story. Someone doesn't reach over and begin to manually stimulate a woman and "insert" his finger without some lead in. So, I will assume you were kissing before this happened. Why? Why were you kissing? Why, when he reached for you didn't you stop him?

Easy, you wanted it to happen.

My advice:
Talk to the guy that you had the rendezvous with. Tell him that it's not ALL his fault and that YOU ARE sorry for allowing that to happen. However, he needs to be reminded that he is a pig for seducing a vunerable married woman.

You need to really think about why you let him masturbate you in the CAR in a GARAGE in PUBLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what your marriage is like, but whoa honey, if you need that kind of action.... I'm sure you MAN if your husband is a man, I'm sure he would love to do it!!!

You need to figure out if you'd ever want that to happen again? Was it the thrill of being outside almost getting caught? or was it because the guy was rich and could take you away from the life you live? I don't mean to insult you here, but women fantasies are more complex then men's.

Can you live with your mistake? Perhaps you try to make it up to your husband everyday for the rest of your life? He'll love you even more for it and won't even know why you're doing it!!!!

I would try to have some rendezvous like this with your husband.
Have him meet you for lunch and service him in the car before going back to the office. Then, while he is catching his breathe, whisper in his ear that it is your turn next time.

If your marriage is strong and you love your husband, games like this can really turn things around. If not, then it's time to start thinking about moving on. If that is your decision, then perhaps you should indeed tell him about your "touchy friend".

Cheers and good luck....

P.S. Hot little story by the way... I got the schvetty nutz over it.

Answer 3

In your heart you know what you did was wrong. Also, if you answer his calls and allow him to apologize it will take you and him back to going out to lunch relationship. Obviously you like this person or you would never have allowed him to touch you intimately. If you want this man at least be woman enough to tell your husband as he has a life too and the sooner he knows he is wasting it on a cheater the better. If you are not going to live up to you vows to your husband then why do you hang around. You are no better than all the other cheats in the world. No committment, no personality, no class. You probably haven't even thought about telling your husband. Subconciously you feel guilty and have gone out of your way to please your husband to relieve these feelings but they are always going to be there. Tell him and fix things or take your cheating *** onto the street where cheaters belong. Homes were intended and made for families and cheaters are just not family material. I know I could not be proud of a cheating spouse and I have two. What is wrong with women like you. You probably have a committed husband that takes good care of you and this is how you act as his partner. You should be real proud of who you are.

Answer 4

Yeah, I would have to say you cheated. Would you want your husband doing that to someone
else? The next time he calls just tell him it's OK, that he's not solely to blame but you feel you made a mistake? Infidelity is an "odd" thing and people do it for a number of reasons whether it's unhappiness, boredom, or just plain wanting to move on in your life without the partner you currently have. Depending on what kind of person your husband is I wouldn't tell him, it may only hurt or anger him. If you want to stay with him maybe you should see a therapist and get this off your chest face to face with someone, if you think walking away would be best then by all means do that. I don't envy the position your in, I made some terrible mistakes when I was younger (1 in particular that cost me the love of my life) the only thing I can say good about it is that it taught me to be a better person in the end. Good Luck to you. :-)

Answer 5

Sounds like you have some work to do in order to sort this all out in your mind. I also sounds like you were caught up in a moment off guard. Deciding to go with this man is where you can be held accountable in the idea that you cheated. You need to disconnect with this man NOW and don't ever do such a thing again. Your guilt is trying to teach you something. Learn from it. I don't know if you should talk to your husband about this or not, I would start with a female therapist who can give you proper counseling and help. One or two sessions shouldn't hurt. Work slowly from there, but definitely tell this man to call you NO MORE. Best of luck to you and I am glad you have a conscience in this matter, you are ten steps ahead of the women in the world who just don't care. Bless you.

Answer 6

Yes. That is cheating. If you have to ask, then the answer usually is yes.

It sounds like there is something going on in your marriage that isnt good. If you were completely satisfied with your husband this incident would not have happened.

What to do now is up to you. If your marriage isnt what it should be you could consider counseling or divorce. As far as this third party you had relations in your car with, you might feel better if you tell him to leave you alone so you can work out whatever is wrong with your marriage.

Ultimately it is up to you. Only you know the whole story.

Answer 7

did you tell him to stop? If so, thats sexual assault! But you didn't, from the sounds of it, in fact I think you wanted it, and I think you needed it and I think that you were overcome with guilt. As for him, yeah, talk to him again, apologze and tell him you were really guilt stricken and you can never see him beyond a proffessional relationship again. If you want a complicated, but very recoverable and honest situation at home, tell your husband. If you don't, it will always be there. At least this way, your concincse is clear, you were honest and also be prepared for the possible split between you guys and if so, hey theres that other dude, right?

Answer 8

first of all you didnt cheat by going to lunch. i dont think that i cheated simply by going to lunch with a guy from work. you did cheat though when you let him do what he did. im sorry. you can either tell your husband and risk your marriege or say nothing and try to forget the incident all together. i would take choice number two since it wasnt really totally cheating. i mean your hormone level was high and you might not have been getting it at home. you didnt kiss him or have sex with him so you are some what okay

Answer 9

Uh...yes it is considered cheating!

Figure out what made you go out with this other man in the first place and allow him to touch you intimately. Work on the cause of the problem and there you'll find your solution.

Personally I would NOT tell my husband unless you want to find yourself in a really bad fight and with a distrustful husband! Just DON'T repeat the behavior unless you want to find yourself in divorce court!!!

Answer 10

Sorry sweetie but I would consider that cheating. Because you gave that one thing that your husband was suppose to have to some one else(orgasm). You do need to tell your husband. He may just leave you too. But it seems as if you are so ashamed of yourself and feel awful about what happened. You need to stop seeing that guy because obviously you are insanely attracted to him. Just tell him you accept his apology but he needs to stop seeing you if he can and to stop calling you. Go to marriage counseling and hopefully you and your husband will grow together through this and maybe get closer. Hope you learned your lesson.

Answer 11

yeah...very nice man. finger banging you the first time you have lunch together.

Don't talk to him and if he comes in to your work tell him you would appreciate if he patronized elsewhere.

I would drop it after that and pretend it never happened. You screwed up but telling your husband might make matters even worse for the both of you.

Don't let anyone other than your husband put their fingers in your pie. Not even strangers...jeez.