My parents hve been fighting for about 2 or 3 years. Everytime my mom makes a little complaint, my dad starts to fight with her. They always seem to fight in front of me and I hate that so much. My parents are still fighting about the stupidest things. When my parents fight I always just go outside or go to my room. Please tell what can I do to stop this chaos?
2006-06-23 07:21:52 · 10 answers · asked by heather c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is so unfortunate for you. Let me help you at least understand what's going on so that you can be better equiped to handle it.
You mention your mom makes little comments. Well, those little comments are what's called Passive-Agressive and it's a common technique used by people who lack communication skills. Many, many people lack "effective" communication skills and as a result, they try to get their point across by making passive-agressive comments. This makes the other person defensive and there you have 90% of your household fights in the free world.
The only way to fix this is for your parents to educate themselves through counseling and workshop therapy on how to get their point across without the anger. This means that you mom and dad need to take responsibility for themselves and their actions and learn to pick healthy arguments.
Now, how do you convey that to your parents? Great question. It's hard because you're the child and they feel they have authority.
Which way do you feel you are most effective in communicating to your parents? Is it with mom? Dad? Notes? Emails? one on one? phone calls? A letter? Have someone else tell them? Which way works? if any? If any of these ways work for you, then say/write the following:
Mom/Dad, you guys have been fighting for so long and it really bothers me. I know that there are better ways for you both to handle things and be happier together and it would be the greatest gift to me and yourselves if you went to couples therapy for a few months. 99% of couples learn valuable tools that not only help themselves but the relationship. Please consider it.".
That's it. Here are some books you can suggest if you feel they'd be up for reading. they are life and relationship changing books.
2006-06-23 07:31:27 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry you have to go thru that. it's not fair to you. all you can really do is sit down with each parent separately and tell them how their fighting makes you feel. It's not your fault and that's the most important thing to remember. hopefully they will listen to your concerns and address them properly but that's no guarantee. you can also seek refuge at a friends house until the storm passes. if you're parents question you as to why - tell them again.....
2006-06-23 07:25:54 · answer #2 · answered by bbq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down at dinner time with each other,and tell them both how you feel about the fighting,and how they feel. Hopefully,just maybe, they will stop.....or fight less. Or maybe divorce,but whatever happens,just try to stay out of it,and you won't have to worry. Good Luck.
$Moneydudeguy$
2006-06-27 09:11:47 · answer #3 · answered by Jeremy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i haven't been in this type of situation before, but i'd hate it if i was. try talking to your parents about this both parents at the same time. tell them how it's affecting you, and tell your dad, not to overreact over little things. talk about it with them with feeling, and really try to me=ake them understand. also make them talk about this to eachother, WITHOUT FIGHTING. i wish you all the best.
2006-06-23 07:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by MiKKi ~:B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
write a letter to express your feeling, a short but loving letter. write to them how much you miss good times, how much you love them and how you suffer when your parents fight. dont get angry, write with lots of love. the more love you put in your letter to your parents, the more effective it would be. make it short, clear, but full with emotions. place the letter on your parents bed, with a rose, and candy, anything beautiful. I bet tears on their eyes when they read your letter. I really hope this would work for you. good luck.
2006-06-27 04:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by hsmnt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them, If you love me and this fight is not about me, please find another way to settle your disagreements instead of fighting. When you do fight, it just continues to put strain on our family bond and one day that bond will break. A healthly family will always work for progress not distress.
2006-06-23 07:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by @J@Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i suffered the same all the time. but sometime when i was grown up i came in the middle and tell both to stop and make them shot up. i am sure it is feel bad and i alway wanted to be out of the house. i was not feel safe and relax in my house.
2006-06-23 07:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by **B** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you want to talk to them then ask them to go to marriage counseling. If you do that then they might realize how bad the situation is. Let them know how much this affects you.
2006-06-23 07:24:31 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to me. Email me I've been there whenever it happens just send me one.
reberl@snet.net
2006-06-23 07:24:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest that they get a divorce
2006-06-23 07:26:38 · answer #10 · answered by Craig 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋