everytime my boyfriend tells me i'm beautiful i tell him i'm not. i really don't see it. Is it normal? He always asks me why i don't think I am. But i've never told him. The real answer to it is all the crap that happened to me though out all of my schooling elementary though high school. The way people treated me i don't see myself as anything. Should he know this?
2006-06-23 06:46:56 · 22 answers · asked by ♥Brown Eyed Girl ♥ 5 in Beauty & Style ➔ Other - Beauty & Style
www.myspace.com/jamie_lynn_hohman
2006-06-23 07:03:12 · update #1
nothing is wrong with you. yes you should tell him. let me tell you why.
i went through it: thick glasses, low income, hair never done, clothes out of fashion, same shoes throughout ENTIRE school year, skinny minnie.
people called me everything in the book. when i met my son's father, my confidence came up a little. i was wearing contacts, so i could actually see my face when i looked in the mirror. I KNEW I WAS BEAUTIFUL!
i never wear makeup, good grade of hair(west indian in my blood), i am plain jane. but i have good facial symmetry, and though i was skinny, as i got older, my shape was awesome because i was an athlete.
when i told my son's father i had low self esteem, he was ther to encourage me. he would make it a point not to gawk at other models on the TV, things like that.
you have to start believing in yourself. ask your boyfriend what does he think it is that makes you beautiful, and start from there. maybe he can help you to see it.
p.s. that is why he keeps asking you why you think you aren't beautiful, because he doesn't agree, but he doesn't know the real reason either.
p.s.s i think you are beautiful just based off of your comment alone. it shows that you are a think and have great personality. if nothing else, that will always make anyone beautiful in my book.
2006-06-23 06:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by lnhymon 2 · 7⤊ 3⤋
It's very normal to feel the way that you do considering your past experiences. I think it's important for you to process through the things that have happened to you and to re-create their meaning.
For example, if there was one person constantly telling you that you were ugly and stupid, your child mind just accepted that what they were saying was true. You need to re-write that script. Start saying - that one person said _____ to me. It made me feel _____. I understand that they were (jealous, angry, ____) when they said it. It doesn't mean that this is who I am now. I love myself and I believe that I am beautiful inside and out. Start doing that with every person who ever made you feel bad about yourself. If you have serious self hate, you may want to see a professional counselor who can help you deal with more of your long-lasting/ deep issues.
As far as telling your boyfriend - well that depends. First, start off by just accepting his compliment. When he says you're beautiful, then smile and say, thank you - you make me feel beautiful - or something to that effect. Don't ever turn down a compliment from anyone - would you take a gift from someone that they obviously spent a lot of money and time on, had gift-wrapped etc - and just throw it on the ground and stomp on it?? Obviously not, but that's effectively what you're doing to your boyfriend when you don't accept what he's telling you.
Is your boyfriend worthy of your trust yet? It's up to you to decide who you choose to disclose information to. Especially when it's something that obviously still effects you. If this person is someone that you think is worthy of your trust, and is someone that you feel like you could spend your future with, then maybe share some of the things that happened when you're ready.
But whatever you decide, I want you to know that you are a beautiful person and you have a lot of things to offer the world. I hope that you can accept your body and your beauty and that you are able to forgive the people who hurt you. Remember that forgiveness is for you, not them. Good luck!!!
2006-06-23 14:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by headshrinker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate alot to you. I have been through the same thing. I was never the pretty girl in school, I was never anything. My friends tell me all the time that im beautiful, but i dont believe it. But i told them why i think im not and they understand but they gave me a lot of advice on it. My best friend told me that what happened in the past is the past. Dont worry about what other people think. You really should tell him. My problem was similar to yours just not with the boyfriend thing. trust me he will support you with it and he will help you feel like you are pretty. Believe me though cause my friends helped me and now i think im pretty. so good luck with telling him if you decide to.
2006-06-23 13:53:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you, you are just self concious and yes you should let your b/f know what happened to you and why you feel like this. He might be able to help you boost that self esteem.
You have to start trusting your boybfriend on the fact that you are beautiful, he loves you and if he thinks you are beautiful you most likely are. It doesn't matter how you see yourself in the mirror all it matters is how people see you as a person.
Good luck.
2006-06-23 13:57:10 · answer #4 · answered by cuteboymom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the same way. I looked good but never knew it. And then a friend of mine took me to get some better clothes and did my hair and that's what really brought it out.
Give us a link to a myspace account or something where we can see you, and I'm sure the people answering will tell you.
As for what you're comfortable telling you bf about the misery that is school, that's your prerogative.
2006-06-23 13:51:46 · answer #5 · answered by thedavecorp 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to leave the past in the past and learn from it. That they were just kids being cruel and that is all. That you are a beautiful person to him and when he gives you this compliment you should accept it with open arms. And you need to start believing it yourself. For if he sees the beauty in you who are you to say you are not. Do not deny your God given rights, for if you don't stand for who, and what you are, who in the end will. Be humbled and thank him and you know what, maybe then you will just live up to the ideal.
2006-06-23 13:53:44 · answer #6 · answered by kickinupfunf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need confidence! You should see yourself as beautiful, as you sre regardless of looks. I know it something a Mom would say but I went through the same in school Kids are just mean... Your man sees that you are beautiful inside and out... accept it and be confident you are!
2006-06-23 13:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe. It comes down to loving yourself. You need to appreciate yourself. Your boyfriend sees beauty in you. Who are you to say he's wrong? You need to improve your self confidence. Wear makeup and dress yourself just to make yourself feel pretty. Or buy yourself something special. Or take up a hobby that makes you realize how good you are at something! Love yourself, Girl!
2006-06-23 13:52:48 · answer #8 · answered by the nothing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you haven't been dating that long don't dump everything on him all at once, its called excess baggage. But I think you should consider that maybe you don't have to see the beauty and just accpet it when he says it. It makes for a healthier relationship and will stop stressing him out.
2006-06-23 13:54:06 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothin wrong with you
just a little low self esteem
just think "I'm not ugly"
if you think "I'm pretty", you might turn a prep
just raise that self esteem
if your bf is your bf, you should be able to tell him everything liek your best friend
2006-06-23 14:02:47 · answer #10 · answered by Yellow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋