Just out of curosity, how many of you guys or women do this, it sucks!!!?

Question

My botfreind sometimes comes in from work after having someone piss him off there and he snaps at me left and right. He says he sorry later and that he loves me and dont mean to hurt me but he has to relaese his frustration somehow. Most of the time hes cool after work tho. How many of you guys really love your partner but still do this at times?

Answer 1

Call the police? - that girl is lost - she is not saying her hubby beats her - just snaps at her - I was in a relationship where the wife also worked - 10-12 hours a day and when she had a bad day she would do some snappin of her own - so it can happen on both sides of the gender fence. Yeah its hard on a marriage but would you rather he stop and talk to someone else on his way home? If you got to get it out of your system - its best done at home - not in a bar - or strip club - or anywhere else he (or she) can find someone to listen.

Answer 2

We tend to take things like that out on the one we love and are close to. Women do it too!. The other is are safe person, that will probably understand. The frustration/anger has to come out somehow. I really never mind when it happens to me. I know they need to get it off their chest. I try to listen, I may inquire further, or I may just say I;m going outsde or something until some of their bad day can roll off their shoulders. Try asking if there is something little you can do to help when he has a bad day. Whether talk, go have drink, get out of the house etc. YOu could also ask that he find something to do to relieve his stress. Take a longer ride home from work, workout, go for a run.

When I'm frustrated like that and feel like I';m gonna snap at the mouth, I workout if it's a workout day. I usually have wood that needs split so I go split some wood, I take a longer way home. Stop and run an errand, stop and have a beer, pepsi, ice tea whatever. All these are just to give me some time to let the day go. Working out or other physical activity works really good for me.

Snapping at you or a comment, ignoring you, is one thing. Yealling at you and verbally betaing you down is another.

Answer 3

To help with your curiosity, it is commonplace for one or the other of any two people to share not only the good things but at times be the brundt of the "bad day". If you take the snapping and listen to the words they are not directed at you and if they are it is pretty simple to fix. It took me 20 years to figure out that the power lies in your response. Snapping back at her was the proverbial fuel on the fire and it would escalate the situation. When she snaps at me now I simply ask , " Did I do something wrong?" , " Did I violate one of the house rules?" If I get a no answer to both of these questions I ask one more, "I am not sure what is wrong with you and I would like to help you get better, wanna talk? If I get NO answer to all three, I simply respond "I did not break any rules or do anything wrong so if you have a problem we can talk about a rule or you can stop bitching at me. I will think you are attacking and I will defend myself. Make a rule, dummy up or just stop. Pick one but do it now.
It covers all the bases and by the time the questions and answers are gone so is the heated dialog. 99% of the time effective. If it does not make the situation stop it will cut it back drastically. Sometimes we have to redirect our mates stress or drama or whatever and to do that we must take us out of the line of fire by asking the questions. When that is done you have control of the situation. That makes it even and you can talk about it or make it stop either one will work.

Answer 4

I have done it once in awhile. Something gets me in a mood and I am snappy. I try to avoid contact though by going off in the bedroom or something until I cool off. My boyfriend has done it too.

I would be worried if it is a constant thing. Once in awhile I can see but if he is doing it on a constant basis than I would have some concern. Everyone gets snappy after a bad day but on a constant basis there is something seriously wrong,.

Answer 5

I do this to my boyfriend. I let something or someone upset me, (could be work, my mom, my sis, anybody). Then I take out my frustration by treating my guy bad. The other night I was upset about something and I took it out on him and he didn't get upset like he usually does. That is when I realized I could easily lose him if I don't learn to deal with my own problems rather than lashing out at him

Answer 6

I've been married for 34 years and never did that to my wife, but when I was younger and dating, I will admit I did take my frustrations out on girlfriends.

Of course never to the point of physical harm, but I emotionally harmed them and I'm sorry for that. I matured fast after one girl pointed out what I was doing to her.

Speak up because no relationship can last without communication

Answer 7

There is no excuse for this. Tell him, after he cools off in polite terms, that one should never take out anger on someone they love. This is a true sign of a healthly relationship. You will not accept this again. Be really ready to back up your words.

Answer 8

Sometimes when I feel that way I will just be quiet for a bit. I tell her straight up that it's nothing to do with us and as soon as I've sorted out some of my thoughts I'll tell her all about it. Sometimes it's hard to get her to do the same thing though.

Answer 9

it happens we have a bad day at the office and it ends up getting taken out on the first person we can open up to at the end of the day. We don't mean it and we are sorry that we snap.

Answer 10

you know what my husband does this also.. but I am to the conclusion, that since he doesn't want to risk getting fired.. he comes home.. and whatever I say to him. sets him off. It could be just the question, honey how was your day. then he will start to go off. on me like I was working with him all day...but my point is you are the only one who is going sit there and let him go off about whatever. I think you should get used to it and don't take it personal. let him say what ever he needs to.. so ya'll can go on with the day or evening. and after he stops argueing with his self.. because thats all he is doing. then say to him do you feel better... it works. because they will realize that it doesn't bother you.

but if he is ignorant he might get mad because he thinks you don't care. then in that case. just keep ignoring him girl.. lol

take care.