i m married for 3 years. i m very jeleous and possesive about my husband which is making him feel tied up he wants his space in life and i m not myself if i ristrict myself from asking him how he spent his day and why he did what he did. i feel bad when he hides something from me intentionally or un intentionally. he likes spending on his friends which makes me uncomfortable. other wise i take good care of him dont ever do what he dosent likes i dont make friends just to devote myself entirely to him. help me please as i want to save my marriage and live happily
2006-06-23 06:17:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me that you could be smothering him. Give him some rope. Meanwhile, you need some hobbies and girl friends to spend your time with. That way, you can come back home and be lovey because both would have had other things to add to the relationship and conversations. Do some things you may be interested in doing. He should not be your only interest. Please do not smother him. Your happiness does not warrant itself based on his being around you all the time. Thank GOD for the work week so that I can see other people without explaining where I've been all the time. By you just being one tracked, you are digging yourself deeper in a depressive state of mind by making him your ONLY happiness.
I hope that you can open your eyes to understand this. I sincerely hope that I was the lightbulb to your saga. Happiness begins with your self and definitely no one else should be able to control your emotions that they can't feel.
2006-06-23 06:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by rightbackatcha! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First I feel you need to stop being so jealous, jealousy is a serious thing, most times people get it mixed up with envy. when you are jealous you are afraid that something is going to get tooken away from you...
Then reason I'm sayin this to you is because, I had some friends well now we aren't because of this jealousy word. but anyway, I think you can still devote yourself to your husband, seeing as though he will always be there.
Go make friends... the reason why you are worried about what he is doin and what friends he is spending time with, is because you aren't being social yourself... so you want him to be just like you... in your little box. so in order for you to begin to be happy is to start socializing. meet people. just realize nobody will ever come between you and your man... thats how I live my life... I have lost friends, I have gain some... but the friends that don't stick around are not really friends. they are associates. but you won't know that until you try to meet people... and be more open.. and stop worrying about what your man is doin all the time.. and that is just being real.
2006-06-23 13:31:28 · answer #2 · answered by TeTe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just worry about your happiness not everyone elses. I see an opportunity here. He wants a little space and you avoid friendships or possibly a hobby or something you like to devote time to him. Make a friend or too or take up something you like. The time is there to do it since he wants a little space to do his thing. It'll probably improve your marriage.
He shouldn't be all upset at you for being nice and asking about his day 'cuz you know if you didn't ask, he'd probably be upset too
2006-06-23 15:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be responsible for making everyone around you happy. You should concentrate on finding friends or a hobby to help you give yourself and your husband some breathing room.
2006-06-23 13:23:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u deep to get a grip dont smother him so much let him breath and have friends your going to push him away relax calm down hes not going anywhere he loves u he married u u dont need to know everything hes doing every 5 minutes have some trust and faith in him u really really do need friends of your own go hang out with them sometimes have girls night out him spending $ on friends if its not breaking the bank and putting u in debt and itshis free $ let it be
2006-06-23 13:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok... very simple change ur attitude, 3 yrears is prety good time to know ur hubby's interest. dont ask him too much... if u r questioning himn evertime then he feels that u r monitoring him which men doesnt like. talk to him when u go out for long drive, that u need some time for urself. from ur question u seems to be asian lady...right?
2006-06-23 13:32:15 · answer #6 · answered by PrinceCharming 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its impossible to keep everyone around you happy the best you can hope for is to be as nice as you can and be happy with who you are. try to ease off on all the questions about where and who he's with or you'l scare him away with your smothering. find something thats for just you it'l make you happier
2006-06-23 13:31:48 · answer #7 · answered by corinna G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can olny make youself happy don't worry about trying to make him happy you have to live with you everyday wake up with yourself everyday so you are the only one you can really make happy i am in the same boat you are.. so good luck i hope i helped in any way..
2006-06-23 13:29:46 · answer #8 · answered by BabyBear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all u hav to trust ur hubi more than anyone..make him feel dat u r givin him space n if he dont like u to ask him d ques like hw did he spent his day??u tel bot hw u hav spend ur day......giv him surprises like gifts,cards or go on dates......n b happy always....den only u can make ur around all happy......laugh at ur probzzzzz...n accept d life as it comes.....n jzt see around u dat here no one is happy bt all r pretending n v hav to do it to 4 surviving................
2006-06-23 13:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by eshq 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make some friends devote time to yourself not just him
2006-06-30 13:01:21 · answer #10 · answered by amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋