SHOULD I COME OUT TO MY PARENTS? im 16 help?

Question

the problem is that they are religious and i think they hate they gay comunnity

Answer 1

I strongly suggest that you keep it to yourself until you are completely on your own. The world does NOT need another suicidal teenager being thrown out on the streets. You are a product of your parents, but I doubt that they understand this...so keep your mouth shut, go about your life quietly, and move out when you can. You are very young, have a fantastic life a head of you, and you don't need to get it started at 16! IF you plan on going to college, your parents will have to foot the bill...Plan your life, at this point, on economics rather than emotions. Imagine what your life would be were your parents to cut you off competely at this point. Later, you will not care, but today, you need them, so use them!

Answer 2

Yes you should .. but the real question is, "when?" If you have a way to test the waters, that might help. I would be careful as long as you need them to support you financially. This may mean after college. Here are some suggestions ....
Talk to someone impartial such as school counselor. Do you have a relative you can trust? An aunt or uncle perhaps? Any gay relatives or close friends? Talk to someone, don't carry the burden by yourself. Check to see if your town has any services for gay youth. Any way ... good luck. If they truly love you, it should be alright eventually, but expect it to be rough going at first. They will need time to adjust. Again, be very careful until you are financially independent.

Answer 3

come out as soon as possible. If you delay the truth, then the lies become harder and in the end the pain of knowing and telling the truth will be ten fold. If you do it earlier then your parents will have time to deal with the truth, because you have already had enough time to admit the truth to yourself. If they can't accept the truth for the sake of your happiness, then you will have to face the reality of their descion, but always remember, we where all born innocent and in the eyes of God that is the truth. Because if he has the right to change his mind when you reach puberty, the line God made man of his own image, then God is the lie and that is just a major cunnudrum, so kid be happy, don't fret about it too much, most parents can sense these things, and when they relize you are still their son, they too will be happy and accepting

Answer 4

As a Christian Dad of a Bi son who came out when he was 14 (he is now 16) it was a very difficult decision for him. He is a very courageous, gifted young man who I love very much. When he came out, all I knew was to tell him that I love him for who he is. Any parent should love there son/daughter and accept their sexuality since it is God given. To answer your question, you say you think they hate the gay community, what they may hate is stereotypes and what they think is a 'gay' person. Don't rush to come out until you have a support group that can help if needed. Try to find another adult to come out to and take your time. Do not give up on faith either, pray as I will pray for you and your parents.

Answer 5

I am also 16. My dad is a church elder and my mom is a deconness. I have 3 older brothers who really hates gay people. I don't know if yours is worst. I think they suspect of me being gay but I really didn't tell them.

Coming out to your friends is just like coming out to everyone, considering every mouth that runs like the river. It is a very big step in your life, a phase that most gay have a hard time with. I, myself, have not come out yet. I have this little motto to keep me in the closet. "There is a private life beyond your private life." Which means, you really don't have to tell anyone about your being gay. Even the people closest to you.

Coming out also depends on your financial independence. If you are financially dependent to your family and if you think your family would abandon you if you told them you were gay, then don't tell them. For now, save money. 2-4 years of waiting is worth a wait. It is like an investment with so much to look forward to. Just be ready and be safe.

Answer 6

At 16 one is going through many changes and the Creator Yahu'eh gave you parents to help give you guidance, advice and support in figuring these things out. I would approach this topic with an open mind and not just to tell them "I am gay" I would discribe to them some of the thoughts and desires you are experiencing and listen carefully to the answers. This might help you decide if you are just experiencing a lot of hormonal changes in the growth process or to know for sure if you are truely a homosexual.

Having experienced this myself I would work on bonding with and getting close to your Dad. When one have a deficit in their relationship with their father be it a girl or a boy for some reason they seems to have more trouble with their thoughts toward the same sex.

My Dad was very understanding when he found out and still is. He is a very fundamentalist King James Bible only Apostolic Pentecostal pastor so I hope your parents will be supportive like he has been. I felt aleinated from him as a child because he worked a secular job and was busy in the church. He also veiwed how to recieve love differently than I did. He was a roof over your head , meet all your basic needs type of showing love while I needed physical hugs and bonding to feel loved. There are many ways and things that make us feel loved.

You are their child and if their religion tells them to assist and love someone it is you. They may be shocked and dismayed but let us hope they do not hate you because of these thoughts and desires you are evidently experiencing.

You might also look deep inside yourself to see if this is one way you are choosing to distance yourself from your parents. It is normal for you to explore being independent from your parents. There are healthy and unhealthy ways of doing this.

If you need to talk to someone who understands if they refuse deal with it lovingly then contact me by e-mail if you like.

Talking with a professional counselour of your parents choice is also a good thing to do. They both should be involved in the counseling in my opinion.

Answer 7

If you already know that they "hate" the gay community .....than I would wait until you are 18. They might make your home life very difficult! When you are more on your own and don't need to rely on them for as much........stand up and be proud of who you are!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you have any kind of support system? Join a gay teen alliance if you can....you will find a wonderful and supportive community! More power to you! Good luck!

Answer 8

Since you already know they "hate" the gay community, it wouldn't be wise to come out to them. If I were you, I'd wait until you're older. There has to be someone else in your life that you could go to for advice and whatnot (a school counsellor, a relative, a friend). I'd recommend talking to them if you need someone to confide in or need some advice, not people you already know hate gay people. Good luck.

Answer 9

Do you think they would accept you being gay? If you suspect there might be problems, it might be better to wait until you're 18 and able to legally move out of the house. Otherwise, life could become more difficult for you.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 10

Try and strike up a conversation about homosexuality without coming out to them. See what their response is. I would wait until you are out of their homebefore you tell them, unless they seem very receptive to the conversation. I wish you the best of luck. It is tough. I came out when I was in college (parents weren't paying so they couldn't take anything from me). My parents were great.