because it seems he gets jealous for me to go to the mechanic shop. So my mothers car needed fixing, I went to him, then he seemed annoyed, we argued a little and then he said, I want to marry you, not the 3 of you refering to my mother and sister. I cant believe he said that. I just cant believe it. I see this as a big sign that I should not marry this man. What do you think ?
2006-06-23 03:51:49 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
the only person's opinion that counts is yours. If you take it as a sign not to marry him dont do it..
2006-06-23 03:55:24 · answer #1 · answered by absynthian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take your time...I'm not going to tell u not to marry the man u love, but at the same time, these problems dont magically go away after the marriage. U need to establish the trust in the beginning..remember, if u play into his insecurities too much in the beginning then u will always have to cater to his insecurities which will lead to a miserable life.straighten this out before u get married..if u cant then u truly might need to reconsider....
2006-06-23 03:57:42 · answer #2 · answered by truth4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is he wants you to come to him when YOUR car needs fixing and he felt like you were taking advantage to him by asking him to fix someone elses care (even if that someone else is your mom). He doesn't want you to go to another mechanic because it makes him feel unworthy, like you don't think he is skilled or smart enough to take care of you and fix your car for you. He wants to be YOUR provider and take care of you. If fixing your car makes him feel that way, then that is a good thing. But the thing is it is YOU he wants to take care of and provide for, not your mom and sister. He doesn't care if they take their cars to mechanics because they are not his wives. Yes, you are right he did not do a good job of explaining that and he shouldn't have gone off on you, but I dont think it is any sign that you should not marry him.
2006-06-23 04:00:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn how to fix it yourself. Then you never have to worry about it, unless your boyfriend starts getting jealous that you can pull an engine faster than him. Every woman should know how to do basic car repair, from changing a tire to an oil change, to flushing the radiator, to replacing minor accessories. And it saves a huge lump of dough in the long run.
2006-06-23 03:57:17 · answer #4 · answered by sovereign_carrie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is only the beginning. If he wants only you and not your entire family, then this will cause rifts in you, your family and the marriage. Something will always bother him about his "Outlaws"? Either he accepts the entire package with you, or nothing at all.
To me you sound like a strong family oriented person, and it is very important to you that he accepts your Mom and your Sister. So in your heart i think you know what is right for you. Let your heart help make this decision for you. You know what is right for you.
2006-06-23 03:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by mailbox1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely should not marry this guy. His jealousy is out of control. If you aren't allowed to go to a shop to get your car fixed because of his jealousy that's ridiculous. Everybody has a little jealousy but when it leads to be controlling, it's time to walk away.
2006-06-23 03:55:53 · answer #6 · answered by ericalsmith2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your family matters to you, then he should see your family as also his own family and not compete with them for your attention. your mother didn't really ask him to fix her car, you were the one who approached him right? i think you deserve better than this guy. talk to him and see if you could still patch things up, work things out (if you love him). but if you think he'll act even worse when the two of you are already married, then you know you should avoid being tied to him. i guess right now, you need to talk to him. good luck. :)
2006-06-23 03:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by J. McCoy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see it as being a big problem...he is just saying his special treatment is generally for you...but the one thing he needs to understand that if he does marry you then your mom is his mom and he better offer to help instead of waiting to be asked for help when family needs it..its just a matter of putting things in prospective.
2006-06-23 03:57:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave your family at a different level you to are in love not the whole family...I had to do it with my mom...always in our business and once i let her know to back off everything was so much smoother without having to think about what she would think or say and just focus on our relationship...I'm sorry to tell you this but he is right!!!!
2006-06-23 03:55:45 · answer #9 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you sister to get a boyfriend & marry your guy.
2006-06-23 03:54:33 · answer #10 · answered by mrsdebra1966 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋