I don't want to make a big move in my life without knowing where we are headed. I don't want to get out there to figure out that he never had intentions of marrying me. We've been together for 2 years and we're already at that point where we're either calling "us" off, or planning for our future.
*He has told me that he has wanted to marry me before, but he's never told me when and where I'd fit into that.
What do you think of my ultimatium?
2006-06-23 03:48:10 · 7 answers · asked by NUTS4DUNCAN 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's not really an ultimatium... more "I want to know where we stand and that your serious about me and won't let me make this mistake of moving away w/you"
2006-06-23 03:48:53 · update #1
I think you have are very intelligent, before moving across country, it would be very important to know if he is going to do more then just say he wants to marry you.... maybe add in there actions speak louder then words...
2006-06-23 03:53:44 · answer #1 · answered by Fantasy Kel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK. The real question here is do you love him enough to go with him on this move regardless of the answer? Can you be apart from him? Why do you look at this like an investment? You have to ask yourself if this is really what you want. Don't fall into the little blaming game we all play. You're just trying to convince yourself that if you lose each other then it will be his fault for not doing something. He's asking you to move with him not away from him. He obviously needs you there. You are right on one portion in wanting to know where you stand but stop looking at it like an investment. It'll only put more pressure on each other.
2006-06-23 11:09:42 · answer #2 · answered by Bill F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right to want a committment. You are prepared (obviously) to committ yourself to him and I think you have a right to expect that of him, too.
It will undoubtedly change your relationship (hopefully for the better) but you do not want to change your life simply to be dumped after a while.
It may be a good idea to ask for his provisional committment, saying that he will move and you won't until he has had time to settle into his new life. That way you wouldn't run the risk of forcing him to commit only to find that his life and outlook was changed by new circumstances and that he now felt trapped (by you) in a situation which he didn't feel happy with.
Which is wise will depend on you and him and how your relationship is. If you share the trust and mutual respect that you owe to each other, then it won't be a big problem.
It has to be up to you! Don't play games! What do you think of my challenge?
2006-06-23 11:02:27 · answer #3 · answered by Owlwings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel I was with my boyfriend for 7 years when a similar situation came up. I feel it is important that you feel secure in your relationship before making such a life changing decison. What happens if things dont work out and your miles away from home. You need to know his intentions, expain all this to him. Remember this is your life.
2006-06-23 11:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talked to him. My ex-boy friend did the same thing and made me cry too many nights but now he' s my husband. Maybe he' s waiting for right place, right time. Maybe first he wants to sort out his financal problems. Deciding to marriage is not only the loving some one deeply. Respecting for somebody who will be called as his family, caring somebody, etc. And unfortunetly these things mean that money. be good, feed your soul :)))
2006-06-23 11:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by Babushka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your right to know where this relationship is headed. Just ask him kindly. Let him know your fears.But don't be aggressive...you will only receive a defensive answer.
Best wishes to you.
2006-06-23 10:57:34 · answer #6 · answered by Pammie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have a right to know before the move.
2006-06-23 10:52:33 · answer #7 · answered by boo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋