i m married for 3 years and now i feel that i have lost my identity, i have given into my husbands likings and dislikings, i have no friends to share my feelings, i have become very insecure and am loosing confidence in myself, i m scared of talking to strangers. my husband want me to b conservative as well as outward according to his wish he dosent allows me to go out alone i m dependent on him for outings. i dont want to break my marriage as i love my husband and ours was a love marriage help me to save my marriage and at the same time have my self respect
2006-06-23 03:19:16 · 8 answers · asked by angel s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wish I could, being a man, answer your question the way you want to hear it. I did not know what "space" meant with my ex wife. We both worked, we have four children, we have a church family, family and friends (together), but, we did not have any friends outside our marriage. She started having friends at work, worked longer hours to be with friends and going out with her friends and spending less time with me, our children, the church, family and our friends. Her friends were not married and she believed she liked their way of living over our way. They could do anything they wanted without telling someone what they are doing. Well, friendship with one male coworker (her boss) turned into something more and she left me, took three of our children and soon after our divorce was finaled, they were married. I do believe that she is reeling in the saying that the grass is not greener on the other side, right now, as he is a lazy bum at her home. I was truly in love with her when she left, but she got what she wanted, "her space". I pray not all marriages end in that way. By the way, we had been married for 20 years. Communication is very much needed in your marriage. Share your concerns about your relationship and your feelings. Little tiny baby steps at a time is what you need to do. Good Luck!
2006-06-23 03:37:44 · answer #1 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Well...you should have realised your husband loves you a lot! So you are lucky than most people, tell you what...you should try to talk it out, if he loves you, he will listen to you...take up a hobby...I'm married for 4 yrs, was feeling down as I'm bored not working & I have 3 small kids, its stressing me out...but then I had took up a new hobby last yr...selling on Ebay & Yahoo, I buy stuff wholesale then resell. Or you could jog, jogging gives you time on your own while getting your body toned up. Then you showers your husband with LOTS & LOTS of love, be playful & all. Then after a while...you stop, he will wonder why & wants more of your love, then he will give in to a bit of your demands, but don't ask for much...just give & take. Now I sit back & relax while my hubby showers me with his love & its easier for me if I want something. He knows you love him & respect him, so he will be more confident in letting you have your own stuff to do. Good luck!
2006-06-23 10:41:12 · answer #2 · answered by fifie girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! You need to assert yourself, sweetie. Go get a part time job so that you have some independence. Go to a gym to work out, anything that you have to do alone. Take baby steps. But don't let him control you. I've been there, but not as bad. Make your own decisions. If you have to then go get some professional help. Otherwise you will get lost in this marriage and eventually lose all self esteem. Plz don't do that to yourself.
2006-06-23 10:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 7 years June 19th, and let me first state that it hasn't always been easy. first you do need to learn to do things for yourself. you should never get to the point that your husband is making all the decisions for you. when I went back to school i regained the confidence i once had because i learned that i was more than just my husband's wife. I set down and talked to my husband and told him how I felt and what i wanted to do and he supported me. we talk and work together there is no such thing is his way or noway. Just because you may be soul mates you don't always like the same things.
2006-06-23 10:36:03 · answer #4 · answered by NeNe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not in a marriage, you have been bought, or rather you are allowing yourself to be ordered around like you were his property! this is totally wrong and you should insist on seeing a counselor or leaving him, he sounds like a control freak to me. i was married for over 23 years and never treated my wife the way you are being treated, good luck!
2006-06-23 10:34:44 · answer #5 · answered by City slicker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is not a prison if he wont allow you your space get some one to talk with the two of you try writting him a letter ask him to bend a little so that you dont break good luck
2006-06-23 10:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by deionnie2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love yourself for crying out loud. what the hell is wrong with you women? is it that bad that you will put up with anything just to have dick in your life? really? it's ludicrous already. divorce him! he is making you into a mold of his. you are your OWN person. He doesn't OWN YOU! WAKE UP HELLO DUH!! HERE IS YOUR WAKE UP CALL! GO AND FIND SOMEONE THAT WILL LET YOU BE YOU AND DIVORCE HIM. VERY UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. YOU LOOK STUPID TO ME JUST FROM WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN. BE A SMART WOMAN AND LEAVE THAT SICK RELATIONSHIP! IT'S LIKE YOU ARE UNDER A SPELL!
2006-06-23 10:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take up some new hobbies or join a church!
2006-06-23 10:22:19 · answer #8 · answered by goobledork 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋