He has a daughter and he wants to spend all his time with her. I'm asking him if we can spend more time together by ourselves. He acts as though i'm making him choose between the two of us. In which thats not the case. He gets his daughter 3 weekends out of a month, he and I are both off of work on sundays and mondays. We spend time with his daughter on saturdays and sundays. And now since school is out he wants mondays too. I'm asking him when are we going to spend time together. I have no family around me and I feel all alone and scared.
2006-06-23 02:48:48 · 23 answers · asked by nana69 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
i'm sorry to hear that but you and your husband need more than a simple answer from yahoo can give
2006-06-23 02:51:53 · answer #1 · answered by YoursTruly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok he has a lil girl thats great !! i know you are alone and scared and you want to spend more time with your babys father. I dont think he wants to not spend time with you but as a father his priorities are where they should be he may not spend time with you alone but his daughter needs his attention too I would tell him how you feel and if you feel he is not being attentive to you and your needs as well i would remind him that once the new baby comes (congrats by the way) you and he wont have the time to spend alone. you both will be way to busy with the new baby. I too am a first time mother at 33 and its hard work feedings every three hours the countless diaper changes youll need his help . I wish you the best of luck. Keep in mind that his lil girl will also want to help with the baby. get her involved with the nursery set up or packing a bag for the baby or going shopping for him/her for clothes or help out with decorating for the baby shower if you are planning on having one. itll be fun get her involved if you can make it family time during the day when shes off in her bed tell him youd like to snuggle on the couch watch a movie ask him about maybe going to a movie just because your 6 months pregnany doesnt mean you have to stay home either enjoy yourself as much as you can before the lil one comes as i said you wont have time for anything else but the baby.
2006-06-23 03:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by midnight_gypsy_rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see his point and I see yours. He should want to spend time with you, you shouldn't have to ask him. I understand that he wants to spend time with his daughter too but he needs to realize that there are 3 people that needs his time and he needs to divide that time accordingly. Although I understand that his daughter needs her father, the unborn child needs daddy as well. I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him(when his daughter isn't there) get your feelings out in the open, help him to understand what you are feeling. Maybe you 2 can work out something that you guys can do together a couple times a month. It may not be much but maybe it will help you.
It is normal to be scared. I didn't have family around me when I was pregnant and my mother died when I was 5 months along. It is a scary time for all first time pregnant woman. Keep your focus on the unborn child and be thankful that your boyfriend takes care of his other child(many men do not), hopefully he will be just as attentive when the new baby gets here. Please help to remember that he needs to be there for you too!!
2006-06-23 03:04:16 · answer #3 · answered by couriousk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
You're not being wrong in asking some time to be alone with him. If he really loves you and the baby you two are going to be having, then he should understand also. You can try to explain and make him understand that you have no one else other than him to be around with. Otherwise, try to get with your friends and have some fun. Stop worrying about him not spending time with you cause you need to be as happy as you can while you're pregnant. Too much worries and thinking si good for you or the onw within you. So take your time and find some fun things to do. Its summer so go have fun. You spuse will feel the pain you do when he comes home and finds a note saying "you're in Niagara Falls with your friends". When people don't want to learn when we talk to therm about it, they'll learn seeing it. When he finds out that you're not home when he comes home, he'll for sure feel what you go through! BE HAPPY! You'll have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. Always thank god and pray him for what he has given you than worrying about what he hasn't given you. You'll deserve wverything from him if not form people beside you.
2006-06-23 02:56:36 · answer #4 · answered by Diya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, I don't think you are wrong in wanting more time, but I do think Ur making him feel that ur needy. I know u said that u don't have any family around, but I do feel that its time u made some friends. At least one. Men don't like needy women, and even though u may be pregnant, u still must give him his space and make him miss u. Absence does make the heart grow fonder. I would say be on ur best behavior when ur with him and his daughter, but back off so he can have a chance to miss u. this will make him love u more. I'm no psychologist. This is just my opinion. Be blessed
2006-06-23 03:08:34 · answer #5 · answered by quiet storm! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just acting dum! He knows where you are coming from. I think a lot of him for spending time with his daughter but he can not 4get all about you.If he had 2 get her that much some one would have to beg him. And that lil girls mother likes this>. He cant keep playing in her hands like this.Dont let him start to tell you that he feels like you dont like his daughter. That **** he know the deal. You go fing you something to do or hang with some friends or you go home so weekends.
2006-06-23 02:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to feel that way he needs to understand your hormones are changing and you''ll be giving birth soon and need extra attention from him metion it to him and ask him why he's not spending much time with you and ask to go do things out for a walk etc.. maybe he feels when this baby is born he''ll have less time to spend with his daughter but let him know how you feel and he might change or he may scared of becoming a father again men are emtional to but sometimes don't show it to you!
2006-06-23 03:06:12 · answer #7 · answered by Bridget D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask him if there is a reason why you can't schedule Monday's for you two alone. Soon enough you will be sharing your time between two children. Ask him if you can't just take these last few months and enjoy eachother.
Good luck to you, it is a hard situation. Hopefully your partner will respect you and care for your feelings and insecurities right now. FIrst pregnancy is scary, don't be ashamed to admit that to him.
2006-06-23 03:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by barefeet561 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down now. I'm glad to hear he takes the responsibility of his first child into heart. However it is you who will bring his next into the world and in only a few short months. He does need to be there for you -- emotionally, physically and financially. Explain this to him. Assure him you're not attempting to come between he and his daughter, just that you need him too and he needs to divide his time equally between the two of you
DONT let him get the best of you or stress u out girl! GOOD LUCK!
2006-06-23 06:27:21 · answer #9 · answered by camoprincess32 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong if you are asking him to do what he wasn't doing before the pregnancy. You see pregnancy doesn't change the man, only you. If he spent more time with you prior to conceiving and doesn't now, maybe he doesn't want this baby - he already has one. Sometimes, we women, get so caught up in what we WANT. And we think that because we are having his child he'll want to be with us, this is so not true.
The bottom line is, you need to talk to him and find out what's going on. I can almost bet, he probably told you how he felt about this before YOU decided to have the baby. Sorry if I seem brash, just keeping it real. If I'm wrong I apologize.
Best wishes!
2006-06-23 02:59:00 · answer #10 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong for getting pregnant with this guy who doesn't care enough about you. Do you live together?You have three weekends and all weekdays for the rest of the month. I'm sorry that you are having a baby with someone you didn't know well enough to share that with.Next time wait untill you get to know the person better and he cares enough about you to marry you.
2006-06-23 02:57:57 · answer #11 · answered by ejtme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋