I have been married for 10 years and have 2 stepchildren and one daughter. One boy 18 now and a girl 16. My daughter is 6. About 7 years ago on two separate occasions I exposed my penis and naked body to my steppdaughter. I was drinking heavily each time. First when I was in the pool with her and the other time when she walked in on me watching porn. I didn't cover up. I was younger and stupid then and I never did it again. I apologized to her many times. She says she just wants me to behave better. I apologized over and over again and told her I would never do this again with any child. I feel I made up for it by being better at parenting and a husband since then. The step daughter who is 16 was angry with me recently and told her mom and real dad about what happened years ago. My wife is still with me but I know it kills her. She is mad. My wife says she loves me but I let her down. The father and I discused it. I apologized to both. Should I be forgiven and stay?
2006-06-23 02:17:09 · 24 answers · asked by mikee 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
give her time and show that what are you asking is for real. The time will say.
2006-06-23 02:22:29 · answer #1 · answered by estibalitz i 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
although it was years ago, the pain for the daughter is very real. If you want to prove that you are not like that, and would not even think about that now, you should recognize that your step daughter needs counciling, and may have real problems trusting you. So you should have her mother take her to counciling, then you go on your own for awhile. Soon the councilor will bring you together to work on your relationship with your wwife and her kids.
2006-06-23 02:35:20 · answer #2 · answered by angela 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't. If your wife has any sense she will leave you and tend to her daughter. People like you make me sick. I bet your wife has the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach wondering if you did anything else she doesn't know about. The fact that it was a secret for so long is disturbing. You need to go to some kind of counseling. I don't think you are being completely being honest here about your sick behavior.
2006-06-23 02:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by tryingtolearnsomething 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard, getting trust from someone we really love,
Ask for forgiveness and pay the price...
We must protect our children no matter who they parents are, they are too young to be exposed to this..
If you leave, consult a counsellor and attend seminars that would take you away from drinking like Alcoholics Anonymous,
you just can't say sorry and do nothing....
talking won't help if there is no action...
2006-06-23 03:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by Ny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no! i have been divorced for a year now, my daughter over 18 now, just recently told me the exact same thing happened to her to, except this went on between the age of 8 n 12, she has a lot of issues n problems. at the age of eleven she had to be put on zolofts, now i know why! if i would have known that was going on i would have left him then and reported him , because thats just plain sick, my daughter is still suffering mentally because of it.
2006-06-23 02:47:00 · answer #5 · answered by mountain girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should leave. 1) you admitted to being a heavy drinker. 2) you didn't lock the door when you watched porn.. 3) you exposed yourself to her daughter, twice. God.... whats not to love about you. You have self control problems. The only way I would suggest she stay was if you got serious, intensive counseling and therapy.
2006-06-23 02:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by cricket 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a 15 yr. old daughter myself, and her having a step-father I would have personally went to an attorney to see what kind of sexual charges that I and the State could pin against you. Drinking has not got one thing to do with it, apparantly you have thought about this, and was happy with the outcome, otherwise you would not have waited 7 yrs. to bring it up.
2006-06-23 03:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by john's brat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isn't a matter of the mother and father. you need the stepdaughters forgiveness. I was 13 and my step father raped me. told me if I ever told my mom she wouldn't believe me and even if she did it would destroy her. I never said anything for 4 years until they got into a fight. I tried to break it up and he pinned me against the wall so I exposed him for the lying bastard he was. not that it mattered my mom was more worried bout being alone than what I wanted, in the end he won and destroyed my whole family. he kept cheating, kept spying on me thru windows and shower door vents until I moved out then molested my little sister. now he has been in jail for 6 years. he was having an affair, my mom wanted to save the marriage so tried weight loss surgery, she was also a kidney transplant patient. she died of complications. now we are 3 orphans and he is remarried and getting out of jail in november. hows that for fair? so do your whole family a favor. fess up seek forgiveness and get help.
2006-06-23 02:27:41 · answer #8 · answered by leslie P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be very lucky if she doesn't leave you.
You need to get into counseling and also pay for the daughter to have counseling.
Your best possible choice here is to ask the wife if she wants you to leave and if she admits yes then get out.
2006-06-23 02:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by yeller 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should. My dad did worse. I can't even count the times he
did something like that, and didn't apologize. He and my mom were married 18 years.
2006-06-23 02:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Binky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would be in jail right now if my husband EVER did anything remotely close to what you have done! You have not only done damage now, but the future is fastly approaching! Dude, you need help. I hope you don't live close to me and my family!
2006-06-23 02:43:34 · answer #11 · answered by Curley-Q 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋