I have been divorced 8 years and my ex can't talk to me after being married to me for 24 years his remarried wife who was my friend who broke us up doesn't allow it. Plus he did some bad things in the divorce to me. He is allowed zero contact no phone or email.
I am invited for Christmas this year at my adult sons house the ex is not. If I don't go he is invited. The son called to give me first option and choice. It is long distance for any of us over 1000 miles.
She won't allow him to go if I am there, he can't look me in the eyes after stealing our assets in the divorce. I'm not sure what to do with all of this. I went on . Just dealing with 2 new grandchildren in silence seems sad. I can't help that his new wife is a beautiful insecure woman that knows she broke us up and that he probably still has feelings for me. This is just life I suppose but should I feel bad that I seemed to have gotten the kids in the divorce? I sowed love and am reaping it now, but feel bad.
2006-06-23 02:06:40 · 8 answers · asked by sweetpea 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You deserve first choice for being the more sympathetic and understanding one in this parenting triangle. Congratulations on being able to move beyond the pettiness and realizing the root of the problems that could have caused you a lot of confusion and pain. The new wife sounds very insecure and your ex and she both have a lot of guilt and shame. They isolate themselves because they don't want to deal with it.
My point in this is that you have not isolated yourself, you have dealt very honestly with a bad (for lack of better term) situation and have come out wiser and stronger for your children. Many kudos to you, and that's why you are given first choice. PLEASE don't use your ex's or his wife's feelings influence you in making your decision to see your son. That would be letting them dictate your actions based on feelings YOU don't have.
I hope you go and have a wonderful time. Besides, would their presence at Christmas with their "issues" really be joyous for the other family members that are going to be there too? I have a feeling like they drag that emotional baggage with them everywhere and it would bring everyone else down in one way or another. The whole "misery loves company" adage.
Best wishes!
2006-06-23 02:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by lost_irish_75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sorry ur marriage had to go that way but ur kids r sitll both of yalls not just urs u should tell ur son that u will feel okay if u have to see ur ex and his wife b/c i went through the same thing with my parents where my mom was at my dad couldnt be there and we always had to pick who we wanted to have for holidays and birthdays until finally i spoke up and although ur son may not tell u but i am sure he feels pressured at this point so just make sure u have a good talk with ur son and if possible with all ur kids talk altogether think about it
2006-06-23 02:14:56 · answer #2 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. I examine the entire ingredient. My 2 cents is for you men to plot to get married the variety you like. Invite his family contributors as travelers - they do no longer ought to have any component of the making plans or something. in case you're having wedding ceremony speeches then do no longer supply to enable them to talk. in case you chosen to no longer invite the impolite contributors of his family contributors then a minimum of invite the contributors that are intense-high quality to you the two. You the two must be waiting to talk to his mom freely with out the comments of others entering it. It feels like countless different family contributors are hassle makers and there is no telling what they have informed his mom you the two have mentioned. sparkling the air formerly you do something.
2016-10-31 08:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he invited you first, make the call. If you want to go, go. If not, then don't. But don't feel bad for going to see your son.
2006-06-23 02:12:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lots of children have divorced parents that dont see eye to eye. for years( until my mom passed) i did all holiday eves with my mom and who she was with. and my father and whoever he was with on the holiday. my inlaws and friends came either time that way no one felt weird. its called part of life. maybe your son should do the same.
2006-06-23 07:00:05 · answer #5 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he sealed his own fate with his actions toward his family. Enjoy the day with your family. You earned it! No more guilt feelings about this man. He has no such thoughts about you or your son. Don't talk about him and enjoy your time with your son and his family.
2006-06-23 04:05:04 · answer #6 · answered by Rosie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should go, have fun with your son.as for your ex... their lives must be so unhappy the guilt and insecurities they live with everyday must be terrible, you seem to be the bigger person in all this...good for you, you deserve a pat on the back.
2006-06-23 02:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by thepainter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go if I were you, that is you son. God don't like ugly you ex and his triffling wife will get theirs in do time.
2006-06-23 02:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by seeking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋