how can we keep our youth an teenagers from premarital sex?

Answer 1

Show them natural childbirth without medication! : )

Answer 2

If everyone knew that then there wouldn't be any teenage pregnancies. A lot of teens don't know about STIs, which alarms me because I did know a lot about those things.

Anyway, why premarital? The question should be "how can we keep teens from engaging in unprotected sex?" My mum and dad aren't married and they have 3 kids including me, and they've been doing just fine.

Answer 3

I think that some young people engage in premarital sex to fill a void in their lives. They may feel unloved, unrespected and overlooked in their family. There are many opportunities now to be sexually active with both parents so involved at work or dealing with their own problems. Youth today seem to want to grow up so fast. I wonder if they feel that they need to experience things as quickly as they can in life because they may not be here tomorrow.

Answer 4

There are no good reasons to not have sex before you get married. Sex is a normal part of life and should be experienced by all. All teenagers are naturally going to be curious about sex and forcing them to abstain is only going to make them more curious. Educate them fully about sex and then let them explore for themselves.

Answer 5

Instill morals in them at an early age so they will hopefully see later on that premarital sex is wrong and nothing good can come out of it.

Answer 6

Let me tell you what has worked with my daughters (my son is still only 11..so we'll see if it works on him too). To start with, I'm not againt premarital sex and my kids know it. I do, however, strongly feel teens are not ready for sex and that it IS worthwhile waiting for the right relationship.

Here are my reasons, though I don't expect you to change yours, I just thought the added insight might help you better decide what you teach your kids.

I don't want my children to marry early. I want them to finish college and find the right spouse (and take care with that effort). Requiring marriage first causes young people to marry too soon and most of the marriages don't last, or they have kids right away and don't get their careers off well.

There is also well documented proof that kids these days who take a chastity pledge are MORE likely to engage in dangerous behavior that could cost them their lives, like anal sex or unprotected sex, in addition to possible unplanned pregnancies.

80% of kids who have taken the chastity pledges FAIL and they are statistically much more likely to engage in unprotected sex.
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That said..what has worked for us:

My girls are 17 1/2 and 19 and both still virgins.

This "system" of mine is based both on what my parents taught me and my own thoughts on it, plus observation of other families, both strictly religious and not.

1. Kids who have goals and dreams that include college, and who have been taught all along to work for their dreams, want to achieve their goals. They understand that teen parenthood will stand in the way of their dreams.

2. These same kids tend to hang out with kids who are also similarly college bound so the peer pressure they experience is towards that end, not who can have a baby first.

3. Girls, in particular, need to be taught to value more in themselves than their looks or their ability to "get a man." Low self-esteem and a desire to fit in causes them to have sex to get attention from boys. The less urgent the need for that attention, the less boy crazy they are.

4. Parents talk about saying "no," but the more reasons that have meaning to the child, the more likely they are to actually say "no." Religious reasons are not enough.

5. Make sure they have accurate sexual information. Sex should not be a forbidden topic in the home. They need to know exactly how their bodies work, how easy it is to get pregnant or sick (1 in 4 sexually active adults carries a disease of some sort), AND how to prevent pregnancy. EVEN if your religion discourages birth control, keeping your kids ignorant puts them at MORE risk. There is plenty of research on how abstinence only training fails.

6. We talk about self worth and how the right person doesn't push someone they really care about into sex. We talk about the emotional consequences of a physical relationship. A lot of kids don't realize that girls and boys can be very different in this regard, and that girls usually think the sex brings them closer and gets a commitment from the boy. In this day and age, that isn't always true.

7. Talk about how to say "no" and still keep a relationship, and..how a relationship worth having will wait.

8. Be honest and frank with your kids. I don't tell mine everything, not even most, but I have disclosed some of my own mistakes so they can understand how poor choices can impact their lives. Your kids should be able to ask you any question about sex, and not feel they are going to get a lecture.

and lastly, and I realize the religious viewpoint on this matter opposes what I'm about to say:

9. Encourage masturbation. Don't faint! I'm serious. Now I did not say..."kids go masturbate and do it often." What I did say is that it is natural and normal and HEALTHY. It releases stress and teaches kids how their own bodies work.

It helps them deal with sexual urges that biology has given us, whether you are comfortable with that concept or not, we are animals with a biologically programmed urge to breed.

Masturbation is the only true safe sex.
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Sex should not be a taboo in this world. It is as natural a need as eating or drinking. That does not mean people should not control their urges and exercise intelligent choices. Parents do their kids no favor by teaching that sex is evil, and the "forbidden fruit" is always a huge temptation.

However, humans DO have the ability to make intelligent and responsible choices.

So..if your desire is that they wait until marriage, DO tell them that. Tell them all the reasons why, and not just because your religion says so (though do explain that as it is important) but why your own life experiences have given you the knowledge that this is the best choice. Give them reasons, in addition to your preferences and beliefs, that they can buy into.

Like it or not, you can't control their decision and you need to respect that reality. So arm them with a strong sense of self-esteem and reasons they can get behind so they make the right choice.

Answer 7

In all honesty, I don't think it's really anyone's place to get involved with someone else's sexual preferences/practices, so I would say we shouldn't. We are all individuals with our own feelings and desires, and I don't think it's fair to just generalize all people together. (Like saying teens shouldn't have sex, being gay is wrong, or people into alternative sex are freaks.) I'm sure there are mature teens who take all necessary precautions, and are more responsible then lots of adults who have sex! (And I'm not a teen, so I'm not saying this in defense of myself, just in defense of individual rights!)

Answer 8

Lock them in the closet till they reach 20. It will not stop They will always think they are in love and no one understands how they feel!Cause we never felt that way and It's real! We don't want them to be happy A bunch of old fuddy duddies!!

Answer 9

We should make people get married at an eairler age. Just like back in the day...

Answer 10

Get them married really early like at six. Or sterilize them ( feed them small amounts of radiation while they sleep). Hypnotize them to think about Roseanne every time they get turned on. You think of something else.

Answer 11

Lock them in their rooms until they reach their 20's.

Sorry but there's not much we can do but advise them about the realities of sexual relations and how to do it safely.