Should I get an abortion?

Question

I am 23 years old, I have a 5 year old daughter and her father is in wisconsin, So i am raising her all by my self with out his child support, state can't find him...I am 7 weeks pregnant and the guy I am with keeps accusing me of sleeping with a black guy. Calling me ****** lover etc...I have never been with a black guy, just because I was friends with my neighbor who was black, he thinks I have slept with him....We were going thru a list of doctors/obgyn's and he said i would prefer you to get a female doctor or if you have to get a male, he can't be black, I told him why does it matter, a doctor is a doctor, and then he said well i dont want to black guy inside you, and then he said or is it to late, going and accusing me again....He is very jelouse and I know he is insecuare but what do i do? I have already had one abortion and I don't know what to do? I need advice...If you don't have nothing nice to say, please dont say it, serious answers only, this is a big decision, thanks.

I don't know if I could support it....I have a daugher already, Yes I have a job etc but I dont know if I could do it...he threated me to take the baby away because the baby would be better of with him.

We planned this pregnancy, we both wanted it, but now he is being like this....

Answer 1

Please don't abort your child. It's not your baby's fault that your boyfriend is being a jerk. If you are seven weeks pregnant, your baby's heart is already beating and he or she already has little fingers and brain waves. You can see photos of a seven-week-old baby in the womb here:

http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html

and photos of seven-week-old aborted babies here:

http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

For all kinds of information on abortion, visit http://Abort73.com For more information on prenatal development, visit http://www.justthefacts.org

If you need help, please go to a pregnancy care center near you. You can find one by going to http://www.optionline.org
All of their services are free. They can give you free maternity and baby supplies, referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance, counseling, and whatever else you might need. No matter what challenges you are facing, they can help. Many centers even offer free ultrasounds, so you can see what your baby looks like right now.

If you're having any problems because of your previous abortion, I recommend visiting http://www.healinghearts.org

I think you know the right thing to do. Be strong and protect yourself and your baby.

Answer 2

Sweetheart, no one can make this decision for you. You are a big girl, a strong woman, and you deserve better than the men you've had in your life thus far.

Whether you believe it or not, you are worth more than what your current boyfriend thinks you are. A lot more. I know it seems impossible, but you can do better than him.

Having another baby or not is a big decision, the biggest decision you'll probably ever make. Sit down and write out all the pros and cons of each possible option (and you have a few). See a counsellor before you make a final decision. Keep seeing your counsellor while you leave your boyfriend. A counsellor will help you with your self-esteem as well.

I can't tell you what I would do in your shoes, because I have nver been in that situation, and I won't tell you what I think I would do because I don't want to influence your decision. Please just take some time to consider all factors and, above all else, leave that man!

I wish you peace of mind and heart, and I wish confidence and love. Blessed be.

Answer 3

Really sorry about everything, but I don't think an abortion is the right thing to do, then the guy will REALLY think you slept with another person. I think having an abortion will just make things worse in the end, and besides that, the baby didn't do anything and now that it is actually a baby you would technically be killing it. I only believe abortions should happen if the mother is in danger of her own life, or if the lady has been raped. Otherwise, it's pretty much you taking responsibility for your own actions and just having the baby you've created.

Answer 4

No absolutely dont get an abortion. You already know you can handle being a single parent, and I sure its hard but you are doing it. And you will love this little one as much as your 5 yr old
.
Dont let a guy influence your decisions, this is your life, not his.

I realize that you have had an abortion already, you have to think, how do you feel about that? Guilty and wish you didnt or fine and dont care at this moment? Very very important to think about that. You dont want to live with guilt for the rest of your life . yes you did it once, can you handle doing it again?? No please dont get an abortion, children are so special and some people are only blessed with so many and thats all.

Now, the guy you are now seeing has major issues but that isnt part of your question so we wont go there.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

Get rid of the 'so called' boy friend. He is looking for an escape route by blaming you for the baby. If you have had an abortion prior to this one--you should have no problem with a second one.
Raising a child alone is not easy--or cheap. You need to find some other form of recreation that is outside the bedroom -- you are way young to have this many problems. Take a look at your life and move on and up---no back looks and escape your abusive situation or you will regret it later. Contact the IRS and your state attorney generals office about the missing father of your daughter and get some support. If you don't have court ordered child support -- get it, the minute he files taxes you will get his return for unpaid support.

Answer 6

are you wanting to abort the baby because of this guy ? seems he has issues !
i think the first problem you need to look at is HIM . i would dump him .
as far as the abortion goes that is a decision only you can make because it is your body . if you have an abortion is he just going to turn around and accuse you of doing it because he thinks you slept with a black man and got pregnant? will he claim you aborted it because it was black ?
i would really evaluate your relationship . have you talked to him about having an abortion? how does he feel about it if you have?
also there is a place online called zabasearch where you can type in your 5 year olds fathers name and choose a state and search for him for free.
good luck with what you choose to do .
hugs

Answer 7

I think it's completely your decision. If he's that bad you should probably get away from him ASAP. He doesn't sound like a very understanding individual which isn't good for you, your child, and your unborn child. If you think that you can handle the responsibility of taking on another child, then perhaps you should go ahead and get an abortion. If you think that you can handle having this child and being on your own, then have it. It's all a personal decision though. He sounds like the type that would do anything to keep you around even if that means using his child. That's not very healthy. I think you need to get out of that relationship...this could escalate and you don't want to be around when that happens. He would wind up hurting you and your children.

Answer 8

You are right, this is a big decision. One too big to be decided like this. You know the pros and cons of children because you already have one. So, take all that into effect and throw in the personality of the father of this one. He does sound like an insecure, controlling man. Is this what you want your daughter now to grow up with? The choice of having this child is all on you. He can't control what you do and I won't tell you what to do. All I can say is that, you have a child and she is being subjected to this behavior. Do you want her to grow up thinking it is ok to have a man treat her this way? You are independent enough to raise your daughter on your own, so you can raise this one too. You don't need him. You decide what you want to do. I just hope that you decide to at least get this guy out of your life. He just doesn't sound like he is the greatest thing for you and your daughter.

Answer 9

First of all, DUMP THAT JERK. He is a racist, and that's not cool.

Second of all, you can raise that one on your own too. Don't get an abortion. You will regret it. You will always wonder what if. If it comes to it and you're not ready to raise another baby, then you can always give him up for adoption.

Never have sexual relations if you are not ready to deal with the consequences.

Good luck.

P.S. Just read your additional notes. He can't threaten to take it away, that will do no good. Mothers always have a better chance of staying with the baby, and he has no say over your reproductive rights.

Answer 10

WHAT!! Please do not do this. You have to live with you, and if you do this, you will be proving him right. Even if you did sleep with this man, this is your baby, what the hell did the baby do wrong??
Leave your husband, go to a lawyer, get immediate $4 for support, get a restarining order if you have to, but Please, do not have an abortion. This is not the answer, it is only a "quick disposal" and you will be forever effected. Please do the right thing by you and you r daughter, and your baby. I never say this, but if you want to contact me for someone to talk to, click on my info, and I'll get to you.
You have a jealous husband. That is the problem. You put up with him. That is another problem. You have got to be able to see that. If you can't, then you are too far gone, and none of this matters.
Please do not abort this baby. You are its only shot in the world. be the woman that you know is inside of you aching to get out. There is so much help out there for you. Be someone that is worthy of respect, not just another woamn looking for a quick way to get rid of life's problems. Work through this.

Answer 11

You've had one abortion so you know the guilt that comes with that. Now, however you are with someone who is controlling and things will not change. I am not here to tell you what to do, it is up to you, but I want you to know that you need to think long and hard about it. He will never change and he can't "take away" the baby, so don't listen to that crap. He would have to prove you are a unfit mother anyway to take away your baby. Dump the guy first! Then talk to someone that is close to you. You need all the support you can get.