how does your husband treat you?

Question

my husband routinely calls me every name under the sun, tells me im a bad mother and wife and generally makes me feel like crap about mself. to get at me he swears in front of our 2 sons aged 2 and 3. weve been together 10 years and im starting to wonder if hes just a bad habit just hard to break or if im trying anymore. hes gone to group anger management and left half way through a six month course. i dont know what to do and really have nowhere to go. im just really upset and juat needed to vent my frustration. thanks for listening guys.

Answer 1

I know how you feel. My husband used to be the same way. It is a horrible way to live, isn't it? Just remember that he has a problem and needs help. Divorce was not an option for me so I stuck it out, hoping that he would change. He did. With a little maturing, antidepressants (for both of us I might add) and patience, we made it.
I always wanted the kind of marriage my mom and dad have. Loving, caring for one another, laughter and respect. It took many years, but I finally got it. We have been married 29 years this year. It was soooo difficult though. But well worth the wait. Please try to talk to your husband about antidepressants. It really helps my husband not be so angry and irritable all the time. If you don't feel like you take it anymore (and I know how that is, too) talk to someone. It can help more than you realize. If I can help in some way, please send me an e-mail. I would be glad to listen. I didn't have anyone that I felt comfortable enough with to tell all the sorted details to. Didn't want mom and dad to know how bad things really were. Good luck and I will say a little prayer for you and your family....:)

Answer 2

I've been with my husand 6 years. Once we were arguing and he called me a b*tch. I walked out the door and went to a friend's house. He called all night apologizing. We talked it out the next day. I told him if he ever swore or disrespected me as a person, I would leave him. He knew he was wrong and he was mortified by what he said. He has never said anything like that since and we've had hundreds of arguments.

I tell you that because it's ok to fight but it's not ok to be disrespected. Your husband is emotionally abusive. You need to ask yourself, if your husband was slamming his fist into your face every day, would you stay? Your husband may not be physically hitting you, but he's being just as abusive. Do you really want your sons to grow up thinking it's ok to treat women the way your husband treats you?

Reach out to friends or family for advice and guidance. Good luck to you and remeber to respect yourself. You deserve much better.

Answer 3

My husband treat me so very well. You shouldn't put up with this crap from him. You may be right in thinking he is just a bad habit you are having a hard time breaking. You say you have nowhere to go. Well, in most cities there are places and organizations that will help you get on your feet if you were to choose to leave him. You could get assistance through a battered women's shelter. You are a battered woman, you know? Abuse is abuse, whether it is verbal or physical. You could get help finding housing, daycare..........even attorney's fees. I am not saying get on the system and stay on it, but I would rather see our tax dollars going to help someone better their life and their kids lives by getting out of an abusive relationship and starting a life of their own. You can do this. Don't doubt your ability to make it without this man. See, that is what they do, they make women feel like they can't make it without them. You can. Get your kids out of this before they get any older and throughly understand what's going on around them and understand what he is saying. Kick this jerk to the curb. Why would you have to leave anyway? Why can't he leave? You have the kids. You deserve the marital residence more than he does. I would suggest you begin to get your ducks in a row and start finding out what alternatives you have and what kind of assistance is available to you. You deserve to be happy, but even more important your kids deserve to be happy and they don't deserve to be in a situation like the one your husband has created. Show your kids that you can be a strong woman. Get them out of this situation or you will be doing them a grave injustice. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 4

I am so sorry. I really am. Something needs to happen...I guess I don't need to tell you that!

Not to make you feel worse, but this is going to affect how your 2 sons treat their wives. And then so on and so on. This needs to stop here and now.

I can't imagine having to go through this with the person that is supposedly to be in your corner, 24/7. It's supposed to be you two against the world...

Please consider therapy...even if it's by yourself. Maybe they can equip you with how to handle the situation and what to do. Sometimes a church has free/low-cost therapy.

Tell him you want more for the two of you. Tell him you want a dynamic, energized, loving, unbelievable marriage. Ask him what you can do to make it that way. And then tell him what you need in order to make it that way. Ask him if this kind of marriage is fulfilling him and tell him that if you both work at it, your marriage could be a rock for both of you.

Answer 5

I have been married for a very long time. Some men think its ok to belittle thier wives. You have to stand up for yourself and be strong. There is no reason for him to treat you that way only that he is unhappy. There is always a way out. You need to sit down with him without the kids around and explain to him that you are not going to take it anymore and he needs to get control. Do not threaten him with leaving, have a plan of action! Although my husband has never called me names, he has done some things to make me think over the years. I made it very clear there is so much I will tollerate. I asked him what he wants. Why is he so unhappy. However I did not bend to make him happy, I was doing what I always did. He needed to get a hold of himself.
Good luck to you. There is always a way.

Answer 6

My husband treats me like a queen. You don't have to put up with that kind of treatment. There a men out there that know how to respect their women. And they care about their children. I don't think he is much of a man. He sound very childish.

Answer 7

Your poor thing.......you can't let him keep doing this. Your sons are going to grow up thinking that it is ok to treat women like this and it is NOT. You said you have no where to go, but I think you should try hard to find somewhere to take the boys and go.

You have to do something now while the boys are small.

Stand up for yourself.......don't let him do this to you.

You find some counseling for you,,,,help you deal w/ the stress and help you get strong enough to deal w/ this.
I am sorry to hear and wish you well.

Answer 8

Sweetie, I have been there. I am a strong woman, BUT when he puts your children at risk, you must base your decision on that. Would you want your children to treat someone else that way? Because that is what they are learning, 'it must be ok, mommy stayed' ? Seriously, step outside of the situation and maybe YOU need to see someone, and seek professional help, before too long your children will need help if you are not wise!

Answer 9

My husband does not and would not do any things like that. You need to know that the things he does and says to you have nothing to do with you, they are his own issues and unhappiness with himself. I don't know how you live with this. He should never, ever say anything bad about you in front of your kids. The things they pick up now will affect them for life. Since he dropped out of his am group, it is obvious he isn't even trying to control this. He needs to commit to individual as well and marriage counseling. If not get out as fast as you can, b/c it could turn into physical voilence.

Answer 10

Where you're at now isn't the only place in the world to stay. Your hubby needs to understand this is not ok with you and that door swings both ways. If he refuses to get his act together, leave. Hell people have left their homelands on foot and traveled until they came to their designated stopping place and with just the clothes on their backs. If they can do it, anyone can.