He says that he wants to get his finances in order, but he only owes less than $500 to a creditor and has good credit. We get in these fights about once every couple of months and he always tries to avoid the topic. We have been with each other for two and a half years and every time I try to talk about getting engaged, he changes the subject. He says he doesn't have enough money to buy a ring, although I know he has a lot saved. Is it time to move on from this relationship?
2006-06-23 00:25:59 · 23 answers · asked by noel1426 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've been the guy twice in this relationship. So speaking from my personal experience I know that it has nothing to do with you. He's either scared or (and I know this is hard to believe but this was my case) HE REALLY DOESN'T HAVE THE MONEY. Listen to him b/c he's probably tellling you everything you need to know.
Also, ask yourself, why do you want to get married? Is it for the sake of marriage? Is it b/c you NEED to get married? Or is it b/c you love him? If it's the last STOP BADGERING HIM (again my case) and let him do it when HE'S ready. It really has nothing to do with you nor does it have anything to do with your situation. He's probably just not ready at this point in his life and he knows it. I guarantee it's on his mind everyday.
You HAVE to let him get to that point on his own without badgering him about it everyday. You want someone that wants to marry you not someone that wants you to be quiet about it then look back and say he was forced to marry you.
2006-06-23 02:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by King H 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the difference between being married and living together for the next 10 years? A marriage contract is like any other contract, and is only as good as the integrity of the people involved. If you truly love each other, you'll stay together whether you sign the contract or not. If he's performing all the functions of a husband, then he IS a husband. Many "true" married husbands fall far short of that criteria. And remember that 50% of all new marriages end in divorce, so I wonder just how good a marriage contract really is nowadays! Living together may end up being a stronger bond, who knows?
2006-06-23 00:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by bobweb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, chill out. Secondly you must realize men typically have a hard time with serious committment, such as marriage. It's not to say this one is not marriage material. You didn't mention ages, but that's a big part. Maybe he's not ready. Maybe he feels like he hasn't "seen" all there is to see out there. Has he had many girlfriends? If he hasn't it might be a good sign he wants to see what else is out there. Whatever you do, do not pressure him. That will just push him away. Give it a year. Do not give him an ultimatum, just give yourselves another year, if he doesn't come around, tell him and start looking elsewhere.
2006-06-23 02:03:47 · answer #3 · answered by Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give him an ultimatum. He is taking advantage of living with you. It's cheaper and I'm sure you do a lot of the things around the house that he doesn't like. If he doesn't want to commit to you, then why should you continue to bust your butt for him?
Unless you both agree to be "partners" which is quite common in europe, as "partners" who live together for more than 1 year automatically have the same rights and responsibilities as married peoeple. I think there are similar laws in the US but they differ by state. You should look that up :)
2006-06-23 00:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by KAT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you attempt to get married to someone that obviously does not want to commit to you?
If you have been together for 2 1/12 years and your not living together, I don't see how a marriage could survive a honeymoon at Motel 6 and McDonald's for dinner. ( Since he can't afford it.)
Find someone that knows how to love and commit. If it takes years so be it.
It's better to be alone for the right reasons than be with some selfish dork for the wrong reasons.
2006-06-23 01:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by Nick R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be he means what he says. lot of guys afraid of getting married untill they are financially stable .. because some times mrriage means that wife is your responsibillity.. but he is staying with you for a long time .. so .. , I think its really high time to give a concrete structure to this relation. Talk to him .. you just can spend life with person who has neither money nor eagerness to get in in concrete relationship. if he has the eager to be in this relationship then slowly the monetry thing will improve .. you both are saying together then how marriage will bring extra burden on him . I dont know complex issue .. need to handle it carefully.
2006-06-23 00:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by abhishekdeep_deb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a tough one sis, as you particularly have a elementary regulation marriage and can be regarded as such by the courts. you could desire to objective to broach the subject be counted with and tell him up front which you particularly decide for to get married, yet looking a thank you to get him to propose would not sound extraordinarily life like at this component on your relationship, if he hasn't completed so already. Is there a particular reason you like a marriage settlement? I unquestionably have seen couples interior the previous who did this after having a protracted term elementary regulation relationship harm up interior the 1st 12 months of their relationship, and it appeared to me that they've been given married because of the fact the relationship became unquestionably falling aside, and have been given married to stave off the wear and tear-up that they feared became coming.....it would not artwork that way. i think of which you would be able to desire to seek deeply why you have this urge to "marry" after all this time, and attempt to make your recommendations up what it is you're lacking which you think of that gets greater beneficial with a marriage settlement.
2016-12-08 11:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by campa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to sit him down and have a serious talk. Let him know how you feel. Perhaps there is a reason why he is scared to commit-either way you need to find out so you can move on with your life. You could always propose to him. I proposed to my husband and it went great. Good Luck!
2006-06-23 00:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, chill out. I would never rush to to get married. Does he want to marry you, do you want him. It sounds like you should reevaluate what you want in life, and see if he wants the same thing. I am talking beyond marriage itself. If you both have the same goals, then relax things will fall into place. If you do want different things, maybe it is time to find a new romeo, one who does want to marry in the near future.
2006-06-23 00:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will you please go somewhere and sit down. A year aint sh*t to be with someone. Stop pressureing him to marry you and try to keep building on the relationship you have now. You will regret marry him if you do. I know someone who regrets it to this day and it's hard to get out of a marriage once you get into it. Slow your roll girl and enjoy the ride.
2006-06-23 06:00:51 · answer #10 · answered by taushadoll 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋