I need a funny poem that is over 50 years old please! Quickly! ASAP!!?

Answer 1

Ahh, here are good URLs to search for you.

1. How about Mr Bean's school histories?
(...not old at all but forever young.)
I like his personalities and a humor with an inteligence :-)

2. Here's another UK site for you.

3. Johnny Carson (frm Nebraska)

4. Larry Miller (frm LA) for HBO, NY.

5. I forgot about the greatest silent movie actor/director:
Charles Chaplin.

(Question) What sort of cheese is the best to have before you go to bed ?
Pyjarmesan.

OK, check them out as follows:
Good luck!

Answer 2

One day, little Albert Ramsbottom
To see 'ow much money 'e'd got
Stuck a knife in 'is money-box slot 'ole
And fiddled and fished out the lot.

It amounted to fifteen and fourpence
Which 'e found by a few simple sums
Were ninety two tuppenny ices
Or twice that in penn'orths of gums.

The sound of the chinkin' of money
Soon brought father's 'ead round the door
He said, "Whats that there, on the table?"
Albert said it were, "Fifteen and four."

"You're not going to spend all that money…"
Said Pa, in an admonitory tone
"On toffee an' things for your stomach."
Said Mother, "Why not?… it's his own."

Said Pa, "Nay, with that fifteen shillings,
We'll buy National Savings and then…
In five years we'll have seventeen and six
And one pound and sixpence, in ten!"

Young Albert weren't what you'd call eager
He saw his sweet dreams fade away,
Ma said, "Let 'im 'ave the odd fourpence."
Pa lovingly answered, "Nay… nay!"

"It's our duty in crisis… what's 'appened
For every child, woman and man
To strain every muscle and sinew
To raise every penny we can!"

He said, "Even this little fourpence…
Might help us, the Germans to drub!"
Then 'e dropped the four coins in 'is pocket
And made for the neighboring pub.

These words stirred the 'eart of young Albert
He made up 'is mind then and there
To take up 'is part in the straining
And sell everything 'e could spare.

So off 'e went down to the junk shop
With some toys and a flashlamp, he'd got.
And the stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle
He received half a crown for the lot.

He went off to the Post Office counter
Where National Savings was bought
But found that they cost fifteen shillings
Which meant he were twelve and six short.

The little lad wasn't down 'earted
He went off without wastin' words
And sold 'is dad's smoking companion
And 'is Mother's glass case of stuffed birds.

At the Post Office counter they gave 'im
A certificate all crisp and clean
Then back 'e went 'ome, to his parents
To say what a good boy he'd been.

They didn't 'alf shout, when he told 'em
By Gumm… but 'e were in the wars
But at finish, they 'ad to forgive 'im
It were all done in such a grand cause.

There's a moral, of course. to this story
That's pointing to you and to me…
Let's all be young Alberts and tend
To defend the right to be free.

by Marriott Edgar 1880-1951

Answer 3

The boy stood on the burning deck
picking his nose like mad
he rolled it up in little balls
and flicked it at his dad

Answer 4

Anything by Edward Lear

Answer 5

Flutter, flutter little bat,
How I wonder what your at,
up above the world so high'
like a tea tray in the sky!

Spike Milligan

Answer 6

spring has sprung, the grass has riise, i wonder where the burdies is? about a 1945 model

Answer 7

Bird Talk
"Think..."said the robin,
"Think..."said the jay,
sitting in the garden
talking one day.

"Think about people-
the way they grow:
they don't have feathers
at all, you know."

"They don't eat beetles,
they don't grow wings,
they don't like sitting
on wires and things."

"Think..."said the robin,
"Think..."said the jay.
"Aren't people funny
to be that way?"

Aileen Fisher

Answer 8

Beans , beans the musical fruit
the more you eat, the more you toot.
or
Baked beans are good for your heart,
the more you eat, the more you fart.

Answer 9

Fleas.

Adam had'em.