My husband is continuing(after I told him to stop), is continuing to look at porn, and watching lesbians having sex. I told him to stop because I don't look at stuff like that,.it makes me think I'm not satisfying him. He said he wouldn't do it anymore and I just found a porn site on our address bar. What should I do?
2006-06-22 23:40:59 · 25 answers · asked by mom_of_twins28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give him an ultimatum stating that you'll leave if he doesn't stop wanking off to porn. Be a strong woman and put your foot down; otherwise, he and many others will run all over you.
2006-06-22 23:42:47 · answer #1 · answered by ai_nacco_2000 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi I'm Garry,
I'm one of those guys that loves female on female porn but I gave it away due to my religion..
He is obsessed with this type of material and I can understand where he is coming from..
What to do, talk to him again and tell him this is effecting our marriage and it could even end up breaking us up, please stop looking at this material as it makes me sick to know that you look at this stuff..
Don't tell him you found the site in the address bar because all he will do next time is clear the browser history before leaving the computer for you to use.
Talk to him with that serious look in your eyes that you females have and make sure you get through to him that it is effecting your marriage and it will break you guys up if he continues..
These are only words that you are using.. for gods sake don't let it break you guys up.. hold in there and he will get over it if you don't get through to him.. I know it's a sickness I can seriously relate and I know how the guy feels.. it's a sickness..
I got out of it by turning to god and becoming religious and praying every day though I'm Muslim and the quaran has a massive effect over people to do good and become peaceful humans.. putting aside those terrorists..
Simply wishing you the best of luck,
Garry
2006-06-23 06:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine did that. I threatened to take the kids and leave. It was ok in his parents house, so he thought it was normal. Well, I refuse to share my husband with porn! It was a very rocky year for us, but he ended up choosing me and getting rid of the porn. We took the computer out of the house for a few months. After it came back, he promised to never look at the stuff again and to not delete the history. If it comes up as a pop up or on a yahoo search for something innocent, then he always immediately clicked it off and told me. The majority of people may think its ok, but I sure don't. And I refuse to let my children grow up to think its ok. It objectifies women and dehumanizes them. It also makes sex took like a cheap thing to be tossed around on a whim. If he had kept looking at the stuff, we'd have left him and never looked back.
2006-06-23 07:01:41 · answer #3 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being unreasonable. It is quite natural for men ( and some women) to enjoy looking at porn and there really isn't anything wrong with it!
You could try watching it with him? It doesn't sound like it is your scene , so maybe not. But you don't need to feel that it is because you are not satisfying him. It's all about fantasy. Don't make him feel guilty about it...it's not fair. And in my experience , telling someone not to do something like that won't work. If he wants to do it, he will. And to be honest, he's his own person, you don't own him, so why shouldn't he?
Sorry if this sounds harsh> Hope you can sort it out.
2006-06-23 06:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by janey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are turned on by what we see,we are visuall,while women are for the most part turned on by being touched and bywhat is said to them.If he is having sex with you you are satisfying him just fine.Let him watch his porn its no big deal unless it becomes an obsesion.Maybe you should go to a srip club together.Or better yet do some thig to spice up your sex life so he wont feel the need to look at porn,in other words you become his visual stimuli.Buy some lingerie and strip for him.
2006-06-23 06:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't wanna hear this, but let him do whatever he wants. You satisfying him or not has nothing to do with it. Men (and some women) like to watch porn!! accept it and move on. The clever thing to do now is not look the other way, but instead let him know that you know and you are okay with it even if you don't condone it out loud.
2006-06-23 06:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How long ago did you tell him this, and how often does your address bar get erased?
And you can't bar him from it completely. You need a compromise. For example: magazines are cool, but video forms aren't. Have you actually talked about it with him, what he likes about it, why he does it, and his response to you saying it makes you feel inadequate? I think you need to discuss this with him (without accusing him of anything!) and try to be a bit more understanding of men and porn. What you need is a compromise, not a complete and total ban issued from your side.
2006-06-23 06:51:08 · answer #7 · answered by staubfinger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it like a mad obsession that's taking up every waking moment of his day? If so then he needs to go to Sexoholics Anonymous,it's real I'm not kidding. If it's not and it's like a bit here or there then flat out ask him if he still finds you attractive. If you don't do that then maybe you should lay off a bit I mean he is a human being, and some of them look at porn. I mean even if it's not your thing maybe it's his way of relaxing....
2006-06-23 06:46:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably fells like that is the only place that he can observe new boundaries or escape monotony. If you have asked him, though, he should try to abstain from this behavior. But marriage is a two way effort, so maybe you can mix it up and try something new, or maybe something you haven't done since you started dating. To releive any worries you have I say evaluate your perspective; at least he isn't out messing around with real women. That's your Kool-Aid, now go get him!
2006-06-23 06:46:31 · answer #9 · answered by nukecat25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You should give Your husband right to watch it if material is not illegal in place You live. BUT
2. Discuss your own sex life is there anything way to make things better? Go together to consultancy if needed (therapeut or like).
3. If computer is yours You can forbid (and you should forbid) activity from Your computer. Let him get own machine for this activity..
4. Don't nag to ruin your marriage! Fantasies are powerful, don't ask for promises.
5. Again ask for help from someone who knows?
2006-06-23 06:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by espaarni 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lighten up. Its better he look at porn at home that be out in some sleazy stripclub or having an affair. why not join him in his porn veiwing and spice up the love life *wink*. Men looking at porn has nothing to do with you not satisfying him, its just something men do.
2006-06-23 06:43:48 · answer #11 · answered by mandy n 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋