I live with her because I don't wan't to separate my child from his mother...
2006-06-22 23:37:38 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
frankly u should think about yourself also. if u are unhappy then you whole familly will be unhappy. and that will be reflected on yuour child also. would you like to have grown up in a familly that was constantly unhappy?
2006-06-22 23:42:47 · answer #1 · answered by raluca n 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Become more interested in her. Go to therapy if you can. Do things as a family. Look at the positive side instead of the negative. Help out around the house. Try to be the best spouse and father that you can be. You decided to marry for the kid, now its time to own your own happiness and start doing things as a family to show you how happy you can be. Just because it started with a pregnancy doesn't mean you both have to be miserable or divorce. Talk to her. Find out what she likes. Start treating her like when ya'll were dating (sexual play, hand holding, walking up and kissing her for no reason). Compliment her. If you both put effort into this, it could be a great marriage. So talk to her. Agree that you want it to work and will try to make it work.
Your unhappiness has nothing to do with her or the baby. Your happiness is controlled by you. If you are unhappy, then start fixing it. Do things you enjoy. Possible go in for a depression evaluation. But don't blame her or the kid for your unhappiness. Own it, then fix it.
2006-06-23 06:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What gives you the wild idea that if you left you would separate the child from its mother?
Even if she was not a very good mother, there is no chance the court would award you custody unless she agreed.
98 % of children are awarded to women according to the 2005 US Census.
So leave if you are unhappy, Leave, just know that you are going to have to start paying Alimony, and Child support after you leave. And if she has any smarts she will get a lawyer and make sure the appropriate documents are filed with your employer so that if you get a raise, the Alimony and Child support increase to reflect the raise.
2006-06-23 06:47:41 · answer #3 · answered by Pete 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marrying someone just because you have a child on the way is the wrong reason to get married. If you two do not care for and love each other for the right reasons then things will just get worse. My husband and his ex-wife got married just because she was pregnant, their marriage was full of fights, and unhappiness. When my step-daughter was little she wanted her parents to be married again, however now she is a teenager, very smart and mature and realizes that her mom is happier in her new marriage and her dad and i are happy. It is very hard on a child to go between two houses and to try and figure out the holidays to make everyone happy, however as they get older it gets alot easier. Remember if you do end up separating or divorcing, do not smother the child with gifts to make them happy, just be their for them try to gone on with your lives as you normally would, just separately.
2006-06-23 09:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married because of a child is not a good way too start .. it never works out.. so for the happness of you and your wife and the best thing for the happness of your child is to devorce wile the child is young this is better then growing up in a unhappy house... But do what is in your heart is the answer you know whats right for all........
2006-06-23 06:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by bikerbabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Tell her how you feel. If you're that unhappy, she probably is too. You're not doing your child a favor by sticking with someone that you don't love, especially if you are beginning to despise that person. It will show, and your child will get all sorts of hang-ups from witnessing how you treat each other without love. If you can split amicably and stay close and work out a good custody arrangement for the sake of the child, you'll all be happier. .
2006-06-23 06:43:13 · answer #6 · answered by ThatLady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriages starting out, only because a child is on the way, rarely works. Staying together, just for the sake of the child, is not only unfair to you, but to your child as well. The child deserves to be in a family where there are two loving adults, who actually want to be together. Your child will feel your unhappiness and it will rub off on them. My advice is to get out, and live your life now, before anymore unwanted children result in this unhappy union.
2006-06-23 12:11:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is probably making your wife unhappy too.
Did you marry freely or was there some pressure to do so?
For the sake of you both, and the future child, talk to each other and consider getting some counselling or help.
Its not an admission of failure to do so and it may ease your problem.
2006-06-23 06:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by Peter H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never marry someone just because you got her pregnant. I believe in the right to choose and would have gone that route first.
You should have told her at the time that you loved her and really want kids, yet the timing isn't right. That what you call a hail mary !
Divorce now and pay the support, its better then being stuck with somone you don't love !
2006-06-23 06:44:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u should talk 2 her. i guess u r asensitive person as u think about ur child. yes ur child will be effected if u would seperate. so the only solution is u should try 2 sort out this problem n u can do it if u will try 2 get into roots of this problem.and decide ur way impartially.all the best
2006-06-23 06:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by blossoms 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋