Im 6 Weeks Pregnant, when would be a good time to tell my mom??

Question

I want to tell her now but i know that when i tell her she is going to be so upset. I dont think mad will come into it, i know she will be disappointed, the thing is she doesnt really like the age difference between me and my boyfriend, we havent been together long and i can see this being a sore spot with her. I need to tell her i will not abort the baby (she is pro abortion) and i need her support in this. He has enough money to support the two of us and we were talking about me moving in with him shortly. I dont know whether to tell her on my own or do it with my boyfriend to show a united front??? Any suggestions and or advice will be great.

Oh im 20, the age difference between me and my bf. He has kids from a previous relationship

And as for grldragon101's response, i was asking for advice NOT critisism

Answer 1

Oh Boy I Just Went Through This.....Kinda....The Day I Found Out I Was Pregnant ( The Day Of My Missed Period) I Told My Mother....It Was Hard.... I Am 19 and I had been with my boyfriend 7 months before getting pregnant...( i am now 3 months pregnant we have been together 10) 2 days before i found out i was prego that she was telling me how proud of me she is...And How I Better Go To College this fall....Then I Had To Tell Her I was Pregnant... It Was Not On Purpose...I Was Shocked When I Took The Test...I Called my Mom On the phone....maybe not one of the best ways to tell her...but atleast if i got scared i could hangup ya know?? all she said is that i better go to college after the baby and i could hear the shock and disapointment in her voice....she wasnt happy about be a grandma lol she is 42 and has no gray hair( she told me this)....after she got used to the idea she loves it....she is so excited!! she calls me to ask how her grandbaby is and what the grandbaby in my belly has eaten today...and she buys baby things and clothes......your mom is YOUR MOTHER hun she should Never stop loving you....There are worse things you could be out doing ya know??as for the abortion thing....thats a tough topic....tell her there is no reason for you to abort it....If you are healthy and having a baby is not a huge risk to your health then have it!! i would never abort my baby either....i dont know how people can get them!! im the one who had sex and i will be the one who stays up late with a crying baby....the baby shouldnt have to die because i was not responsible enough to be on birthcontrol....hmmm...well i dont know if i was any help.....i hope so.....oh and your mother should be thankful you are 20 and not 14 or 15 girls are getting pregnant younger and younger thse days its sad kinda....they arent emotionally or financially stable enough to raise a baby...well best of luck to you dear!

Answer 2

I was pregnant when 18 and thought my Mum would be very very upset. I was at Uni at the time and she had worked so hard to get me a good education in the hope I would go to Uni. there was also no way I was going to have an abortion - he is now 7, doing really well, and I love him so much!
She actually surprised me by being ok. Our whole relationahip was better when i was pregnant as I think she didnt want to upset me - and we got closer. After all, I was carrying her grandchild.
i can;t promise your Mum will be the same but it is best to tell her rather than worry. The you can deal with her response. If she wants you to abort the baby that is really hard to understand - it is her grandchild.
I can't say whether to talk to her with your boyf or not - but look after your own feelings and health as well. you are pregnant and could do without stress.If you feel you need him there for support then take him.
I also can;t see what her problem is with the age difference if you are both happy.

Answer 3

You better tell her before you start showing! As far as the telling her with your boyfriend I think you should tell her without him. Have him close by maybe come over with him leave him in one room and you and her talk in a different room. After you tell her if she gets mad then give her about 10 minutes and then the three of you should talk about living arrangements. I don't think that a united front will help. She may feel as though you and your bf are ganging up on her and that may cause bigger problems. You could try the united front thing but I don't recommend it. If she wants you to get an abortion tell her that you want to keep the baby and there is no way she can change your mind (unless she can). You may also want to talk about the age thing and how to get over it. She may or may not be angry with you but if she is give her a day or two then go back and speak with her again. Both you and your bf should get ready for shouting but you both need to remember not to yell back. You never know she may end up being happy for you. Prepare yourself for yelling and screaming. When she starts to accept the pregnancy let her go to the doctors appointments and include her in your decisions. Congrats and hope this helps!

Answer 4

If she is pro-abortion you may find it easier to wait until the window of opportunity has closed for that...
my initial suggestion is to wait until just before you start to show. The only reason this wouldn't work is if you get morning sickness a lot, etc. or if she would be offended that you "couldn't come to her" earlier. You would also have a lot to hide. (like dr. visits, plans to move, excitement...) Usually a first pregnancy doesn't start to show until your 4-5 months along. You must also consider what you wear...if your clothes fit you well, it'll be easier to tell when you start to change shape.
Be careful with the age thing...sometimes angry parents can cause a lot of problems for you if the ages are just right...if you know what I mean. Obviously you can't really do anything about that.
Finally, when you tell her: if you do it together, you may feel more ease with telling her because he's there to help you. She's going to know right away if you both show up to talk about it. Maybe you could say you need to talk to her and then you guys just say you want to move in together...then she'll be shocked that you "aren't" pregnant. Once you have moved, it will be easier if she has a very negative reaction because you can get out of the house and go home to let her mill it over. Really, though, I would wait until about 4-5 months or as long as I thought I could get by unnoticed and then just be upfront and honest with her. Bottom line: if she's not going to be supportive, he will. Once you're over 16, you have your own freedom to move out and start making your own choices. I would just try to stick to my convictions without burning any bridges if possible.

Answer 5

OK, I think you should wait until 12 weeks when the threat of miscarriage has passed, normally you would tell your mum straight away if the relationship was good, but from what you say it isn't great.

As long as you and your boyfriend love each other and he's good to you, then its really nobody's business who you decide to raise a family with and spend the rest of your life with, not even your mothers!

At the end of the day, be strong, and tell your mother how it is. That you are having a baby, that you and your partner are thrilled about it, that you want her involved in the child's life, but as a loving and devoted grandmother, not a bitter and twisted one.

If your mother can't do that, then move on, and devote your time and attention to your family. Your mother may come around later to the idea.

Good luck.

Answer 6

firstly ignore that persons response, obviously doesn't know what shes on about!! weather your with someone your own age two years older or twenty years older the response you ll get off your mum will be the same. at the end of the day your with this man cause you love him weather or not hes been marries 20 times it doesn't matter. your pregnant take it your happy? well let your mum know now so there is no other arguments. i would personally sit her down just the two of you and tell her and ask for her support. she may be funny but let me tell you once she sees that baby for the first time all the bad things will be forgotten. dint forget your mum loves you and wants the best but you also want the best for you to so be adult about it and tell her now. good luck and everything will be fine!

Answer 7

Hiya sweetie,

Wow you must feel quite confused.......

Tricky subject, but here goes.

Firstly the age of your boyfriend and the fact he has got children to a previous relationship has nothing to do with your pregnancy they are 2 separate entity's. What matters is you and your little family to be.

I would suggest telling your mum on your own, if you take along your boyfriend she will feel like you aren't giving her a chance to have an emotional responce.

Tell her you love her dearly,and explain this baby is what you want most in the world and you feel very proud and happy, and you want her to share in this with you, after all the baby is her grandchild.

After a few tears and big cuddles you'll wonder why you ever worried, your mum is only true friend you'll ever have. I know, I am one, and my daughter is 11, i'm 35. if she is ever in your position my job is to be there 100% and so is your mums as-well, and she will be ... I promise.

Good look angel, I hope this helps..... oh and CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!!!! xx

Answer 8

Leave it a few weeks until you feel comfortable. At least you can use the excuse that you wanted to get it all checked out by a doctor first before upsetting her. Providing you're over 16, what you've got to remember is that you're an adult and no one can make decisions for you. I was even scared telling my mum at 20. She took it really well and I think you may be surprised at how understanding she will be. Tell her alone and you can bring in that element of mother daughter closeness which should make it easier. Tell her like you're including her in on a secret. I'll bet she'll be chuffed!!!

Answer 9

Just a few questions, How long have you guys been dating? How much of an age difference is there? What makes you think this guy will be around? Just cause he says he will? I mean, how many guys usually stick around? he can bolt right before you give birth, trust me you would not be the first one this has happened to.

You're so irresponsible! You mom was only looking out for your best interest, and now you've majorly messed up. Do you really feel you've done a good job here? you've forced your mom to accept this good for nothing man, he shoulda married you in the first place, she will NEVER Accept him! and she will be sooo disappointed in you. It's so selfish you forced this guy on your mom by getting knocked up by this guy. Wake up, they tell you whatever you want to hear. I hope the lay was worth it.

Answer 10

First of all - congratulations!

I have been in a similar situation, I was very young when I got pregnant, and I didn't tell my mum until I was 3 months, as I thought she'd try to make me have an abortion.

You'd be surprised how understanding and feeling she may be though, when you tell her. My mum offered advice, and told me it was my decision to keep the baby or not. Her main concern was "Aargh! Where are we going to put the cot!?"

If you have made the decision to keep this baby, I suggest you and your bf go and tell her together. Let her know all of your plans, and your good financial situation.

Soften her, my mum became excited about the thought of becoming a grandmother eventually.

I now have a healthy, happy four year old who is the light of mine and my mum's life.

Good luck to you, your boyfriend, your mum and your baby!

Answer 11

I don't think telling her with your bf present is such a good idea. She needs time to accept it and if he is there with you may make her feel like you are ganging up. She will not disown you because of this as you are her little girl. But try and see it from her point of view aswell, she only wants what's best for you. I have a bf 16 yrs older than me and luckily my mum loves him to bits but you must be strong and take her somewhere public so she can't shout and scream at you when you tell her.
Hope it works out for ya!! You MUST tell her ASAP if she sees you are both serious about it then she can either like it or she's gonna lose you. I doubt that is what she wants.....