I feel really bad for something I have done. My husband left his email open one day and I went into and read some emails. One of the emails was from another woman and although she was a friend, he said some things that made me feel bad.Things like how he missed his old life and missed the bar scene and his buddies. To me it seemed like a intimate and personal conversation and I do feel bad for having read it although it did make me feel sad that he felt that way and couldn;t talk to me about it. I am not condoning what I did, it was wrong to invade his privacy like that. I posed a question about email passwords earlier and I wanted to be honest about why I asked the question., I do want to clarify though that I did read his email because he was so secretive about his compter use and chatting. So, in short, I was wrong and am sorry for not being honest to begin with.
2006-06-22 20:52:44 · 12 answers · asked by suzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is probably very telling that your question is in the Marriage/Divorce and not Ethics category.
In your password question, you said you would "never check his (e-mail) either unless he knew about it." Now, 8-hours later you have opened his e-mail, and you regret it. It's a small thing, really, but what will you do next that you will regret? It's likely you will continue to do things which will sabotage your relationship from within, which will continue to cause your husband to continue to miss his old life. Soon, in a sad tale of self-fulfilling prophesy, he’ll be writing truly intimate messages to his friend, and you’ll be writing to ask, "Why did my marriage fail?".
2006-06-22 21:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by Curious1usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are no secrets, only unspoken truths. Are you sorry that you read the e-mail or sorry that it made you feel bad. If the letter had said "I love my wife so much. My life is amazing now" would you feel guilty? Maybe the letter made you think about the things you already have been thinking about. Maybe it highlighted some of your doubts regarding your relationship. Everybody that gets married for the right reasons knows that they will have to compromise on some of their old life-style. They will miss all the things but doesn't mean that they regret their decision. My concern is your statement that he would prefer to talk about it to someone else other than you. Sometimes people will do things so that they do get caught. Maybe he meant for you to find it.
Talk to him. Don't tell him you read the letter. Just start talking to him.
2006-06-23 10:38:46 · answer #2 · answered by vmmhg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a good reason to be secretive. Would it really have been so hard to just close his email???
It is not unnatural for a man to reflect on things he's left behind and even miss some of those things. It doesn't mean he wants to trade in what he has now... it means that he used to have some good times and well... I'm sure once in a while you think back to "the good ol' days".
Husband and wife is a sacred bond... one that requires trust... perhaps the two of you should work on your trust issues... then he won't have to be so secretive, and you won't be so nosy.
2006-06-23 03:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rev T L Clark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Privacy in a marriage. There should be no reason why you couldn't have read his emails in the first place. If there wasn't anything to hide then there shouldn't be an issue about being in his email. My husband has been in my emails and I have been in his. There is no unknown password in our house. We have nothing to hide from each other. He should feel bad for not having this conversation with you and having it with another woman. This is your guy's life not his and the woman's life. Privacy in marriage to me is going to the bathroom alone not having secret conversations with other people.
2006-06-30 00:05:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married people have no privacy. His business is your business and vice versa. Have you talked with him about this yet? If he is so bent on privacy mabey you should separate for a while. Marriage is 50 50 but no lines are drawn as to who gets which part of what 50. Some friends of mine had the same fight a while back and it ended their 8 year marriage.
2006-06-23 03:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by charity2882 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him and if he can't talk back then you guys might have some issues.
I'm not saying it is alright to read his e-mail but i think that a husband and wife should share a life as much as possible unless he works for some top secret company and their are top secret files on his computer than i don't see the harm in sharing information to a point.
2006-06-23 03:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by pchardbooter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did the same thing like 2 weeks ago when I saw his ex had emailed him. Than I read it and there was nothing bad in it all. She even congratulated him on our baby. I felt so quilty I eventually told him about it.
We talked and I felt better.
Thats the only way you'll stop feeling so quilty.
2006-06-23 04:21:02 · answer #7 · answered by ashez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel there should be no secrets between my husband and i he knows my password and i know his. Your hubby being secretive made you more curios, it was there you looked. Nothing to bad about that. as for what you read talk with him about it.(try) he'll probaly get mad but he better get over it.
2006-06-23 03:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by Chantell L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF HE IS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ON LINE MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A LOOK AT THE THINGS THAT COULD BE WRONG . THIS IS A PROBLEM . AND ITS NOT GOOD AND AS FAR AS YOU LOOKING AT HIS MAIL THIS ONLY MEANS YOU ALREADY KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG TAKE THE FIRST STEP TO FIX IT ITS CALLED TALKING . THIS IS A MUST .
2006-06-23 04:01:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont be every one of us would have done the same just make sure u tell him that and tell him that ur sorry but that was so tempting for u.
if he loves u he will understand.
2006-06-23 03:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by Factor X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋