Im 24yr girl who comes from a traditional catholic family. It turns out that im the 2% birth control did not work for. I am 7-9 weeks pregant and my family wants me to get married. My b/f and I care for eachother a whole lot, and we are moving in with eachother. The thing is he starts medical school in 1 month, and I dont want to rush.Since I have been a little girl I have dreamed of my wedding. I want to get married when we have the money and the time to plan. The last worry we should have is getting married, we need to be planning for our baby and for the both of us to finish school. Its way too much coming at us all at once, and our familes are throwing more at us. I think my family is embrassed b/c im pregant and not married. I hate to hurt my family, I proably should get married so I can make them happy.
2006-06-22 18:53:23 · 28 answers · asked by sarah_jane_bischof 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you answered your own question yourself. All your reasons for waiting are valid and well thought out. Sorry your family is embarrassed, but this is your life, not theirs.
2006-06-22 18:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U shd be happy that ur family acknowledge this pregnancy, and want u2 to get married. In other pple situation, it either adoption/abortion. Or being thrown out of d house.
A wedding is just a day event, but a marriage is a lifetime, and a child is on d way, plan for d child..
being a happy mom is much more impt than being a happy bride.
Which parent will wan their child to become single parent? Marriage will be d rite thing to do.
2006-06-22 19:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by HappYGal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STOP! Do Not Get Married. If that is a viable option for you. Do not rush it. You seem sensible in that you've realized you need money for the baby... & believe me, the baby will cost you loads of it! Don't even get me started. A baby come with so many 'surprise' expenditures! with a baby, there will be things you need; Crib, Clothes, DIAPERS.... & things you can't resist... the adorable layette pieces...! You should'nt have to forgo those dreams for your baby b/c you spent the money on a wedding! Plus, you do not need the added stress of a newborn baby on a brand new marriage.
I speak from expirience, I got married to keep my parents happy, it was a guy they really liked & they didn't want me to lose him... so I was pressured into marriage. Well, 6 yrs later.... we are still married, but I can't stand the guy! The things that attracted me to him, his confidence, his pride, his intelligence (he was everything that I thought I was not)... now seem like nothing but arrogance & pretentiousness to me. He's a jack of all trades & master of none!
Don't let this happen to you.
Take it slow... only you & your boyfriend know if that is an option,
Good Luck to him in Med school. I hope all works out for you.
2006-06-22 19:36:51 · answer #3 · answered by SK 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that anyone should rush into marriage no matter how much they are pressured by anyone else. You should however move in together so you can get to know the person for who they truly are. You may find once you are around them 24/7 that your truly compatible or in my case that you cant stand each other. I have been married twice now and both times we were rushed into it because of circumstances and we later found that we were better friends than a couple.
2006-06-22 19:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by twistedlifesmysteries 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget what everyone else wants you to do. What do you want? Getting married because there is going to be another person in the relationship makes no sense whatsoever and will be a disaster for all of you. Make a plan that will allow all three of you a chance at happiness and forget the rest...good luck!
2006-06-22 19:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have it right, you need to worry about the baby now, and the wedding later. You have to do the best for YOUR family, not your parents. Good luck. And a piece of paper is just that... if you two really love each other then it will work out fine, just tell your families to let you do what you need to.
2006-06-22 18:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok girl, you have to think about the baby and all but what about you? I was in a marrige cause I did not want anyone to know I was a lesbian. It lasted a year. A year of torcher and hell. If you love this guy then marry him but if not you have to think about yourself before getting stuck in a situation that can hurt the kid in the future.
2006-06-22 19:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by curious cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let your parents know that its not up to them and that its your life, and your decisions, and your choice of how you want your destiny to turn out. No one has to get marry just because they got pregnant and its the right thing to do, that's just bull. You can get marry when you know for sure that he is the right guy. Don't let kids interfere with your love life, because you can make your kids even more happy when you are happy.
2006-06-22 19:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by lola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here is the long and short of it. Getting married does not have to be a huge expense it can be done at the courthouse by a judge. If you're going to be living together anyway money surely isn't the biggest reason you don't want to marry right now. As far as getting married to please your family. You should only get marriewd to please you!
2006-06-22 19:10:52 · answer #9 · answered by asitcomes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 7-9 weeks pregnant, ALL KINDS OF TIME to find someone who will adopt your baby!!!!! Med school is going to suck!!!! Stay with the man, you love him, help him through school, PLZ don't abort the baby!!! Do the right thing and give the baby to someone who DESPERATELY WANTS ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't have a baby under all this stress. The chances of you staying together are very small if you do! But you'll be doing a much better thing by giving the baby to someone who will give it a stable home!!!
Don't be pressured into marriage by your family, when it's right, you'll do it. But don't make things worse by bringing a baby into your world when you are not ready!
2006-06-22 19:02:00 · answer #10 · answered by ktterdfurguson 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You say it was not planned it was a slip, neither one of you are ready. Don't make another slip. Go now get an Abortion, finish planning your lives and be more careful. Im a grandma of twelve of those little babies.
2006-06-22 19:16:05 · answer #11 · answered by g-day mate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋