I am bi and discovered that while I was in a relationship with my current b/f.Im positive Im going to be with this guy for a WHILE if not forever but Im alittle disapointed that Ill pretty much never get to see what a relationship is like with another girl (and/or pursue n e thing with one). I would never cheat on my bf like that. Basically, I need advice on how to cope with this...maybe alittle advice to make me feel better about it. Remember, I do know that I am going to be with him for an EXTREMELY long time.
2006-06-22 18:52:50 · 12 answers · asked by worldpeace071190 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
stop letting the evil curiosities of your mind mess up something good with your man. no, you do not need to know what life is life with a woman, be hetero like god intended and do not feed into evil.
2006-06-22 18:55:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is that what being Bi is?
I went through a patch of being with one and wanting the other...then I realised I was just being plain selfish - what I wanted was more important than the person I was with.
I know that there's curiosity and questions - especially if you've never had the experience. Just because you can fancy people of either sex though, shouldn't mean that you can't devote yourself to one person in a loving relationship.
A straight couple have to work at theirs, even though there is lots of temptation to stray - the only difference for Bi's is that they have a marginally larger group from which to be tempted.
Down the line when you and your boyfriend (husband) are settled with each other - there may be an opportunity for you to get what you'd like and for him to watch or participate. That is something the pair of you would need to discuss and you'd BOTH have to be extremely comfortable with the idea of bringing a third person into your bedroom.
Otherwise, I'd say get over it and concentrate your efforts on the one you love.
Best Wishes
2006-06-23 07:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I do not doubt at all that you're bi, but do you think your panic about it might indicate a fear of commitment to this relationship? First, realize that if this man is really all you want and need at this point, it doesn't matter that you may never be with a woman. If this doesn't console you, I would just honestly talk to my boyfriend about it. As another girl said, he loves you, he cares about you, it's important for a good relationship to communicate about everything. Maybe you need a little time on your own (I don't mean you need to break it off, just take a break) to explore before you make a huge commitment? Just talk to him about it. I wish you the very best and I wish I had an easy solution.
2006-06-23 02:03:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say tell him, and maybe you two could explore that together a little. I'm not talking polyamory (unless that's your thing), but you sound pretty happy with a committed monogamous relationship. I just mean like...go to the mall and check out girls together or something. The other side is, if you found the one person you want to be with (which, in all fairness, is presumptuous of me), it shouldn't matter too much, right? Like, you don't have to keep closeted, but you can just say "yep, that's there, and I don't really need it anymore".
2006-06-29 04:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat! I am already married. I have been for 5 years to a man. I love women and like being with them more sexually. How I have dealt with this is I do go on adventures with other women. Don't get me wrong I do love my husband, but I have to fulfill my needs to. I stay in the closet about the whole thing. I have just learned to separate the two. I look at being with a woman not cheating, just being a girl!
2006-06-30 13:23:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kimmii 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him about how you feel.....perhaps even let him read your question on here and the answers to it. Never allow yourself to be in any relationship in which you can't be who you are. It is difficult enough to maintain a good relationship being yourself and almost impossible to maintain if the honesty isn't there.
Not knowing your partner it is difficult to predict his reaction to this revelation but I will say this about most men.......
We, if approached properly, really have no problems with having a bi partner. If the relationship you seek is with another bi female, we usually have no problems with that because we do not feel threatened by them to any great degree.
If, however, your desire is to have a relationship with a strictly gay female we pretty much would view them as a threat to losing you, just as we would another man. I personally have no objection to being with a bi female and enjoy doing so. It opens windows to our relationship that would otherwise be closed to me, whether as a spectator, or as a participant.
2006-06-23 02:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by old dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is actually something that EVERYONE in a relationship is going to have to deal with at sometime or another-irregardless of sexual orientation. the whole situation of being with one person, and yet seeing someone else that you want and are tempted to be with is universal.
since you care for this guy, then be with him. understand who he is, and what he means to you. ask him to understand you and what you're feeling. he may be cool with it, he might not be cool with it. you got to make sure that he knows that you're quite happy with him, got to make sure he's confident in the bonds you have together.
he may ask you to do a 3 way with him and another girl, and here's where it gets tricky because if you're still a novice to your bisexuality, you'll end up more confused than anything else. a 3 way is an easy way to introduce him to your bisexuality, but you have to be a strong person in a strong relationship in order to do one. many relationships have ended due to a 3 way, because feelings can get hurt easily, and if someone is jealous-it's a sure relationship killer.
good luck to you, and i hope i've been a help.
2006-06-30 10:14:30 · answer #7 · answered by Krazie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is important to understand that having an OPEN (non monogamous) relationship with your boyfriend, does not mean you are cheating. If you talk to him about your desires to possibly explore a relationship with a woman and maintain a relationship with him, there is no cheating, it is just consenting adults. It is called polyamory and there is nothing wrong with it, as long as you are honest with all parties involved.
2006-06-23 02:06:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think u should just tell him about it. if u r going to be together for such a long time as u say u r this must mean he loves u right? if he does he'll understand and know just what to say because he loves u. im sure he'll think about what would make him happy, make you happy and solve ur problem as well..
2006-06-23 01:55:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Bi and i'm worried what dad might say
2006-06-23 10:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by Secret Sufrer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋