I'm American 43 and never married. My fiance is Asian and 33 and never married. We have lived together for 4 years. We both enjoy being together but have seperate groups of friends and interests. Sex life has slowed down but OK.
I often travel to Asia on business for a month or more and sometimes have casual relationships with other women. I've told my fiance that I'm no angel on the road. She said it's OK as long as I'm carful.
I asked her to marry me recently. I've thought about it a long time and decided I do want to have a kid since everyone says its so great. She has always wanted one. I plan to continue to have outside women and, again, she said OK. Big wedding in the works.
It seems the perfect European solution - home, wife, kids, mistriss but my American holywood cultural background says this is not going to work.
Question - Can one have it all? Can I get married, have kids, fool around a little?
Or should I just break it off and be single?
2006-06-22 18:36:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd say you should ask yourself if you would be able to handle it if SHE was stepping out on you. If your answer to that is no, then marriage probably is not for you (at this time anyway). On the other hand if the answer is yes, then perhaps the 2 of you should consider a swinger lifestyle. Then you would both be stepping out together ;) Do a search for local clubs in your area. You may find that it would help "rev up" the sex between the two of you as well. BTW: Don't get married just because you want children you will only wind up hurting them.
2006-06-22 18:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by tied2tots 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man, you got a lot going on.
I say, if your fiancee is okay with your lifestyle and is aware of your outside relationships, then go for it.
The thing about adultery is that the majority of the time, the other half does not know about it. If she is aware and willing, then you kind of got it good. The things is, she may become tired of this lifestyle and want you to stop.
Are you willing to do so? Make sure that this is really what you want. Also take into effect your future children and how them finding out about this may affect them. Once you have a family, you will need to devote a great deal of time and consideration to them.
You have alot on your plate. Make sure you can handle it all. And make sure you take into consideration the feelings of others.
2006-06-23 02:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by sparkling_apple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could, but she probably won't stand for it once you're married. Besides, marriage is about many things, and wanting to be with that person for the rest of your life is one of the reasons. You shouldn't even want anyone else. Hopefully she comes to her senses and leaves your sorry ***. I can see why you're unmarried at your age. Think about if she was the one with some on the side, how would you feel? Good luck.
2006-06-23 01:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by heidielizabeth69 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please.. Your only hurting yourself by going with another woman. To be a real gentleman you shall stick with the one you love. If you dont feel you love her end it. Because its wrong to do that to a woman and go behind her back, even though it may sound fun and exciting. Its actually not, they say what goes around comes around. Maybe the next girl you are interested in could do it to you? How would you feel?
2006-06-23 01:50:33 · answer #4 · answered by polen2008 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW.. you lucky man. Go for it. If you can have it all..then have it all. And if it doesnt work out.. like most marriages dont.. then you'll get a divorce and still get to have sex all over Europe. Make sure she is absolutely positive that even after you two have a child.. that its still ok for you to get strange. Go for it!! She rocks!! Wish my husband was that cool.
2006-06-23 01:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by spurdom28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make her sign a prenub stating how you're allowed to go and have relations with other women. That way she can't use that in court to get some massive settlement later.
2006-06-23 01:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by Not The Stig 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay single.ur looking for trouble which could end in a bad way.why go from the fry pan and into the fire.i do not unerstand how you can be so selfish to love a woman you asked to marry and lust after others.really not fair to her.think about it!!!!!
2006-06-23 01:45:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it sounds to me that your girlfriend is ok wit it so i dont see a problem BUT what i will tell you is if she says that its ok aslong as your careful that means its working for her cos she might have a little something on the side as well TRUST ME girls dont just say yeah its cool just be carefull!! they hunt you and cut your balls of lol hope i helped
2006-06-23 01:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by bellitarose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should get married, but as long as you are completely honest with your fiance, then stay with her.
2006-06-23 01:43:52 · answer #9 · answered by WTF 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maby she is not as perfect as you think she is..if she dont care have a good time. and dont worrie about it.
2006-06-23 02:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by purple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋