I am friends with this male friend of mine. We used to be friends with benefits sort of speak and I told him I want to call it quits. He agreed but now I feel kinda strange seeing him as only friends because its pretty much weird and embarrassing now. We work together at a local store. What do I do?
2006-06-22 18:25:58 · 20 answers · asked by Laura 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Don't kid yourself. Unless the guy is completely inept, you will end up having sex again, as long as you maintain even casual contact with him.
The problem here is you, not him. Men are in full control of themselves. Women are not (not even close).
If he is smart, he will simply shrug and let you be for awhile and screw a bunch of other girls. After a little time passes, you will start thinking about how you would like to start having sex with him again. It's unavoidable, even if you have a serious relationship. When you approach him (which you will), if he knows what he is doing, he'll simply shrug and start having sex with you again.
That is the reason for the weirdness you feel....back in your mind you know that impulse is there and that it will eventually overwhelm you. There are two solutions. Quit your job and avoid all contact with him. Or you could admit this to yourself and simply understand that you are taking a break from him until you want him again. If you are REALLY in tune with yourself and he is a high quality man, you can talk this issue over with him.
You see. The reason I know all this is I've been through it....as have most men. We expect this from you and we laugh it off because we know what's coming later on. Likely, he has been through it too with other women and is secretly smiling inside because he knows something about you that you obviously do not.
2006-06-22 18:37:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe you must not be having sex for 24 hrs. x 365 days during the earlier phase of your friendship. There must have been some 'normal' periods [or hours at least] that you spent without sex. Hence you should have no problem to act the same 'normal' with him now. However I feel your problem is how to ask him again to provide you the same 'normal' sex again. You being sexperienced, especially about his sexology, there must not be any problem.
2006-06-22 18:42:23 · answer #2 · answered by jnanabratasil 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im not trying to sound rotten,but there is no way of saying this.Move on and get over yourself.Im sure he has other things on his mind then stressing over that.Its cool if you can be friends,most people end things then hate each other.Its cool if you can over look things and move on with life,im sure your not the best and last he has had or will have.Make sure you dont play head games with him and make it clear just friends if he ever wants diffrent
2006-06-22 18:32:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think it over in your head and deal with all sexual feelings ahead of time. Call on the phone and level the playing field by saying " I like_____ alot, but it's not a love connection." I want to hang out, but I don't want anyone feeling "funny"! Are we all cool? Test the waters before any chance encounter....good luck...been there, done this, survived to write it down! :)....
2006-06-22 18:31:06 · answer #4 · answered by wndymrrs1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be friends with him again. Don't avoid him and don't avoid touching him. Hugging, back rubs, etc. are still okay and they can break the ice that is forming; be sensual, not sexual.
My friend, who used to have benefits, and I are still best friends.
Also, be sure to talk to him about this; be open and honest about how you are feeling.
2006-06-22 18:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jolie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt be embarresed you werent embarressed when you were sleeping with him. Just act normal. But dont expect things to be the same as friends with you two like before. It will never be the same again.
2006-06-22 18:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will never feel normal when he is/will be around you. This is the truth. It will be better to work at some other place so that you cannot see him. WHENEVER THROUGHOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE, SEE HIM, YOUR MIND WILL TAKE YOU TO YOUR PAST GOOD MOMENTS WITH THAT MAN AND YOU WILL START FEELING DIFFERENT.
2006-06-22 18:32:12 · answer #7 · answered by NEW 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl there's nothing u can do ur marked for life so deal with it
2006-06-22 18:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by Smiley17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
quit ur job and get spare .... its to hard to pretend to be only friends after something like that
2006-06-22 18:28:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you can't just be friends, maybe you should be friends with benifits, cause I know I have a friend with benifits, I don't find it hard to talk to him in public. . . maybe you like him. . .
2006-06-22 18:29:42 · answer #10 · answered by evafrommgs3snakeeater 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋