I have a daughter with my ex and he hasn't seen her since she was born 6 months ago. What could be going through his head that he wouldn't do anything to try to get to see her? I don't understand how anyone could do something like that. It would taking nothing short of a court order to keep me from seeing my little girl. See here is part of the deal. We were going to get married till I got pregnant and then he changed. I was 6 months pregnant when we broke up and he said he wanted to be a part of her life. He didn't see me again till I had her and begged to be in the delivery room. He even said he was saving up money to help me pay the medical bills. A few weeks after she was born I asked if he was going to help out and he said if I had a job then I could pay the bills myself. I haven't even spoken to him in 4 months. I really think he is avoiding us to try and keep from having to pay child support.
2006-06-22 16:18:54 · 20 answers · asked by Sassy Mom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, my daughter wasn't planned. My birth control defaulted and I got pregnant on accident. Also, we completely quit having sex when I found out, in fact we had only had sex twice that year. One resulting in me getting pregnant.
I would love to let my parents help raise my daughter but men in my family just aren't there. I myself have never met my father and my Mom got divorced from my step-dad of 17 years in December. He has pretty much dropped out of my life. So now my mom works 6 days a week to support herself. There is just my daughter, me, my mom and grandma in my family now.
I just wanted to know peoples opinion. I'm not stressing over him. He is an *** and I know that. I have a new boyfriend and he is great with my daughter.
2006-06-22 17:00:57 · update #1
Also, he makes good money. He works for an auto parts company as a welder. He makes at least $300 a week after taxes.
2006-06-22 17:07:09 · update #2
I can sympathize. I went through a very similiar situation years back with my first husband. After I had our baby he moved out and on with someone else. I couldn't believe it and yes, he was avoiding paying support.
Well, it has been 27 years, and I have moved on and away from him years ago, but, but I did go many many times to court and got child support from day one! Since then he has had to pay for her dental apt. and now her college.
So go and get what is coming to you. Don't ask him why he doesn't care, because sometimes people don't care. It is creepy, but true.
and, they have to live with their decisions. He is a drunk today, and is lonely and misses his daughter----supposedly.
I am enjoying my new life with 3 more daughters now.....and I didn't look back after 5 painful years of trying to figure the guy out....but I did heal.
luv Ava
2006-06-22 16:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know how a guy could walk out and do that to you. I feel so bad for others that go through this. I too have a child that has not seen his father in over five years. This man does not pay support and everytime the courts find him he moves. I know that he is avoiding the child support and feel bad for my son. Not having contact with his father has made him a "mommy's boy". My son and I are very close and he has made numberous comments to my family that he no longer has a dad. I feel bad for my son and for your daughter. It is a sad situation but if this is the choice that he has made then your daughter will be better off in the end.
What ever you do....do not let him out of his responsibility of having to pay support. File for it at your local Domestic Relations Office and do not EVER drop the order. It will follow him and eventually he will have to pay for his daughter. It may take years but as a parent you deserve it and so does your little girl.
I wish you all the best!
2006-06-22 16:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by student 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to begin with, that is a part of the problem with premarital sex. Anyone can and will say what ever they think that will continue to give them the pleasures of the sex. I am a father who did something along these lines, and I regret it every day of my life. I have a 14 yr old child that doesn't know who I am except what she may or may not hear from her Mom. I was still young and immature as I would say your guy is. I was stuck on the "ME" issue and nobody else mattered. I would say he is there also. He is also avoiding all financial responsibility, but you do have legal recourse there. It sounds like you are a very smart woman, and I want to congratulate you for keeping your child. You cant do anything to change his behavior, as he is not ready to take responsibility for his actions. He is still a boy, and not a man. The best thing for you and your child, is to focus on being the best Mom that you can be, and hopefully he will come around and be willing to face his responsibilities before it is too late for him to be a Dad and not just a donor. If he isnt or wont, please see if your parents will allow you to stay with them and raise your daughter with your Dad as a male role model for her, providing he was a good role model for you as well. Best of luck to you and your daughter, and I really am sorry about the guy being a loser.
2006-06-22 16:30:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File a court order for child support. Offer visitation and see where that gets you. If nowhere then just be supportive of your child and he will come around. But Don't be mean or other wise nasty. Your job as a parent is to be there for your child and having two fighting parents is not a good time. Just get the child support and then go from there. Never talk bad about him in front of her and always keep the door open to him. Then when things do get better there isn't alot of hard feelings.
2006-06-22 16:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by misty a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Avoid child support? How can he avoid that? You should have a court order for that! If not then you need to get off ANSWERS and go to the court house and file the papers. So you had a kid with a loser...sorry for ya! This not a time to cry...you have a baby to take care of and you don't need to be stressin' his/her loser dad. Its your job to play the role of mom and dad now...so stop worrying about what you want and get that child some stability. He/she needs for you to move on and be happy...how happy can you be crying over this P.O.S all the time? I know it hurts when something you love sooo much is ignored by the other parent but thats why God made you mom...strong enough to handle it all. File ur papers and move on...one day he will be sorry.
2006-06-22 16:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is funny because i went through tcongratulationshing and let me tell you,FORGET HIM!!!!It works. I have a 2yr old son and his father is the same way and at first i was worried about being by myself but believe it or not i found a boyfriend while i was pregnant who was there for me for a while.We eventually broke up and now I'm married to a real Man who treats my son like he is his own my son even calls him daddy.Put him on child support and be done with it. I wish you the best of luck in everything.And congradulations on the baby girl.Maybe i can trade you my two boys for your girl! lol thank you for listening
2016-05-20 12:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, Sounds like you and your beautiful baby are better off without this "so called daddy " in your lives. How anybody can not love there children is beyound me but it happens all the time. I have a grandson who is 10 mths. old and his so called dad sees him once a month if Deakon is lucky. I don't even want to say lucky! He is a waiter so he can hide his wages and I know he makes good money and that is the only job he claims and he also works with his Dad under the table shoeing horses and makes great $ but he only pays $50.00 a month ( 2packs of diapers a month) for little ,beautiful Deakon. He should be ashamed of himself. Just raise your baby and kick HIM to the curb. Your baby and you will be better for it and the baby will love and appreciate you for it in the long run. Be strong and hopefully you have family who will be there for you to help. I 'll do anything for my grandbabies. They are my life. Good luck and I will pray for the two of you. Karen
2006-06-22 16:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by Karen C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women! You all ignore the nice guys and hang out with the bumholes then get all shocked when they screw you over. Chances are you knew he was an idiot when you met him, and he was still an idiot when you had kids with him. Now the fact that he is an idiot is shocking to you? Of course as an idiot he makes next to nothing so getting a child support order would not be worth the time. The kid pays. Hopefully the next time an idiot shows interest in you you will say no. Doubt it...
2006-06-22 16:34:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this guy has problems emotionally. It sounds like you should call him up and ask him to at least be apart of HER life. Tell him that when your daughter grows up and she sees everyone else has a dad she is going to think her dad doesn't love or care about her. Then she'll say " Mom why don't I have a daddy?" Then you'll have to tell her that her dad didn't care enough to visit her. She will be devastated. Tell him all this and see what he says. If he still doesn't come see her, send a letter or anything like that then you will know he is a jerk.
2006-06-22 16:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by k m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl all i can tell u is that u are not alone in the baby daddy not helping out situation or even trying to get to know their kids. Thank god we are strong woman and still life goes on. just imagine if it was the other way around how would men be able to handle what we go through on a daily bases. lord i tell u that this whole world would be a terrible mess
2006-06-22 16:24:23 · answer #10 · answered by SEXXYDARKCHOCO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋