I dont want to be divorced twice but my hubby is lazy lies and always tries to make me miserable..what do i do

Question

he can do really mean hings but he always turns it around on me and says im the bad guy.... Like he went out one night and never came home.then got mad at me because i was upset about it.....he always makes false promises too....

Answer 1

This is not good, and I believe that You know that, You would just like to have it validated. So I am validating it for You. You teach People how to treat You. You have to sit Him down and tell Him that You believe in Your vows, but You need him to honor them as well. It is like drawing a line in the sand, and saying if You cross this, it is over. And He crosses it. So you draw another line, knowing that there is no way that He would cross that one, but He does. So You just keep drawing them, and He just keeps crossing it. Tell Him that You want to get Counseling, You will find out real quick what His intentions are. Demand More for Yourself. If You are afraid of His reaction, have Someone there with You, but possibly in another room, just in case.

Be Strong, and Follow Through. God Bless

Answer 2

I'm sorry about your situation. It seems to me as though maybe your hubby has a guilty conscious not sure if i spelled that right, but if he's guilty over something that he has done to be unfaithful, could be the reason as to why he is always blaming you for unecessary things. Sweetie I'm sure that you are a very intelligent woman, and you trully do not need that. I understand how you feel when you mention you don't want to get divorced a second time, but he's not worth your time. If he acts like this then its more than likely that he wont change, simply because you can't change someone, they have to want to change themselves. You deserve so much better, you do not need a bum. You need a man and not some lil boy. As for him leaving one night and not coming home, that was just uncalled for, you had every right to be upset with him. You're his wife and you have the right to know what's going on with him. Its not a crime to be worried about your husband, I mean something could have happened to him, then what would he have done by not telling you it would worry you even more. With him doing so, it makes him sound insincere and that he doesn't care about your feelings and that's not right. Hun stop wasting your time on this loser, and when men go out and don't come home its a good possibility that he could be out messing around on you and you wouldn't even know it. Get rid of him, there are so many great guys out there that would treat you like the queen that I'm sure that you are. Don't let this guy riun your life, because life is too short to be wasted on a loser. Find someone that's worth your time and enjoy new life experiences. I hopet his helps you out on your question. Sincerely, Jessie

Answer 3

My fiance is the same way. Some guys just want to be in control, never be wrong (even when they clearly are), and still want to act like they did when they were single (and still have you do things for them like they're married). When my fiance does that, I just tell him, the door's always open if he doesn't like the way things are. I don't really want him to leave, but at least he knows I'm not going to stop him if he wants to. It just makes him realize that you're going to do fine with or without him. So, it leaves it up to him whether or not he going to have your company. Then we either have a fight, and everything calms down, or he apologizes for being selfish. If you two really love each other, one of two things will eventually happen. Either he will change and start acting right. Or you'll get tired of it (more than you are-to the breaking point), and you'll leave. There's always the third option, though. You'll just keep putting up with it, and he'll keep doing whatever he wants. You just have to decide which option you're going to take. It'll all work out for the best if you stand your ground on what you believe a relationship really takes to work out right.

Answer 4

You've had two marriages, and neither one makes you happy.

Here's a thought: you are making bad decisions about who to marry.

Here's another thought: you are not suited for marriage.

Neither of these things is anything to be embarrassed about; just recognize that both possibilities exist, then take a step back and look at your two marriages to date. If you see the current one as fixable, fix it; if not, end it (unless you have kids; if you do, you owe it to those kids to at least try to make it work, even if you have little hope.)

For the long term, though, what's worse: saying "I have been divorced twice", or spending years of your life in a miserable relationship?

Being divorced doesn't make you a failure; wasting your life on misery does. That doesn't mean you should get divorced -- it just means you need to figure out what makes you happy, and while that may be (this or another) marriage, it may not be.

Don't artificially limit your options, in short.

Answer 5

He is a manipulator. You don't want your happiness to be based on not wanting to be divorce twice. You got married because you wanted to be close to someone, love them, trust them and be treated right by them. Do what is going to make you happy and it sounds like this guy is doing what is making him happy in spite of your feelings. Remember he is treating you this way because you are allowing it. Let him know how you feel and then make a plan on how to fix it and include consequences if nothing has changed in the time that you both agreed on. If he chooses not to adhere to those plans then follow through with what ever consequences you decide to do if he is not willing. So you need three things. 1. Sit down and tell him how you feel and suggest going to marriage counseling. If he says yes go on to the next thing. If he says no, then separate yourself from him because he is not worth your happiness. 2. Tell him that if he decide to stop going to counseling, before your issues are worked out, then you are leaving him. 3. If he does not respect you enough to try to work it out, then he does not love you the way you desire to be love. Leave him and don't look back!!! Don't make the relationship in your head what you think it ought to be. Woman do this a lot and stay in bad relationships way too long. The relationship should be between two people and worked on by both with 100% effort. I hope I was helpful.

Answer 6

I would have divorced his a** along time ago. Better yet, I probably never would have married him. If you are miserable, then you need to do what you feel you need to do to better your life. Don't be married to someone just because you don't want to be divorced twice. Not all marriages are as happy as they all may seem, and I am sure you will not be the only woman that has been divorced twice. Next time, if there is a next time, try to make a better choice on who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe you don't even need anybody at all besides yourself.

Answer 7

He's not serious about this marriage. He still wants to hang out and party all night long and there's no future there.
Some people get divorced 3 and 4 times. If he is mistreating you, he has already left you and you have a right to leave him and move forward on to better positive things. You will never reach success with baggage like him in your life.

Answer 8

do the same to him. don't go home for about a day. when asked you why and where did you go, answer the way he did ( if you have the guts) but if you can't do all of that then you should talk to him in a light conversation the matter. if the conversation end up to nothing then you should find someone who's willing to love you back the way you can love. You have the choice, you only need the guts. a lot of persons are willing to love you and take good care of you. Just make a stand ok honey! God bless!

Answer 9

You need to use positive re-enforcement on this guy. Many times a guy is seriously depressed and if he is lazy and putting you down, doesn't keep his promises, chances are he is depressed and has a very low self-esteem. If you keep the faith, keep being kind, and what is funny... find other things to occupy your time... he will wonder what is going on and be very interested in your new interests. Get my point! Another words, go on with life as if he were barely there... be a little harder to get. Many people say these are games... BULL!!!!! Men are a species that always need a challenge to keep their attention. Dont buy the " Dont play games!" you need to keep your man challenged... whether you like it or not.

Answer 10

Look its easy to tell you to leave the man, but how miserable are you to still be married to him.? I am on my second husband and your second sounds a lot like my first but with the added bonus of physical abuse. I stayed with him because I did not want to get divorced like it would make me a failure. To get to the point you already know what you don't want to do and that is get divorced until you want to stop being miserable (and there will be a time when you will) you will continue to live with a man you do not trust. The alternative starting a new life with someone you can love, trust and respect. YOURSELF!

Answer 11

I think divorce is the answer even though you don't wanna go through with it. You shouldn't have to suffer because of his stupid
choices and decisions. A relationship is 50/50 and I'm sure you know that. My boyfriend is lazy too but is also considerate and appreciative and he still chooses to be helpful in ways. I say toss him!!