How can it affect a daughter if her father is distant and rejecting towards her? My Dad has been very much this way for all but the first 5 yrs of my life and I want to gain insight into how it could have affected my development. I know I am still angry with him about it.
2006-06-22 15:00:19 · 15 answers · asked by Zinc 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
ladybird I am at univeristy studying for a degree and Im 20. You dont know anything about me or, it seems, compassion.
Do you ASSUME everyone who ever had a bad thing happen to them is crying wolf? Get behind me you cynical old witch, ppl like you dont know a thing about real life, you think its a fairytail and that no one has ever got reason to be upset. Just shows how much YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT LIFE.
2006-06-22 15:19:40 · update #1
Girls who do not get the love or approval of their fathers often seek it in other men.
2006-06-22 15:04:35 · answer #1 · answered by ☼Jims Brain☼ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to tell you the truth, I can sort of relate. My father left when I was four-years-old and for a while I was really upset. He started to take me to his house on the weekends and was doing so until he moved to Texas. I talk to him on the phone now and then, but it's just not the same. Anyway, emotionally you will changed. You will most likely be closer with your mom and your friends, which is not a bad thing. You may see things in your friends' dad that you wish your dad had. J ust don't hold a grudge against him, that is the worst thing you could ever do because it will stick with you for the rest of your life if you let it. Remember that though it doesn't seem like it your father still loves you. Keeping that in mind and keeping your anger level about the situation down will help you on down the road and much later to come. You'll be fine, it may have an affect on your emotional development towards men and boys a like but that's only if you let it get to you.
2006-07-06 10:35:18 · answer #2 · answered by Sereana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many possible reasons. The stress of raising a family could be one. When you were 5 he probably felt trapped in the expense of raising a family. Especially, if your Mother and Father were fighting over finances. You have grown to make a life for yourself. I am proud of you. Continue making a good life for yourself but don't totally shut out your family. Simple things like a call home just to say hi and how are you doing. A card at the holidays to let them know you are thinking of them. When your are in your 40's and 50's you may understand him. Just don't let it be history repeating. Raise your family the best you can. Mostly love one another and never push a child away.
2006-07-01 14:03:19 · answer #3 · answered by sally_little03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daddy never had anything to do with me unless in was conveinent for him. I grew up with a stepdad that was most of the time critical of me and sexually abused me to an extent, nothing like rape or anything, but it can be a terrible thing because the girl would often look to find an older man to be in love with to replace the father that she never had. More a father-figure than true love. The girl might even let a man control her just to get this attention. Some cases are not like this, and some are. It's just my perception, not a professional one.
2006-07-06 18:33:24 · answer #4 · answered by T.R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'd like to address Lady_Bird_20. She is definitely wrong. Since she required an answer. As a young girl, your father's mental and physical guidance in your life is very important for you as you grow up and interact with other men. Your father was to model for you the kind of man you should have in your life to carry on raising family. Instead he chose to ignore and reject you with his insecurities and ignorance. Now you have grown to seek love and no not what real love is because he refused to show you. So I would suspect that you would act in desperation seeking love to any man that would give you attention. And because you thought you loved him - albeit that he treats you badly, you still vy for his attention. You should seek counciling so that you can fully understand the damage your father put you through. True, he may have had other problems, but none of them were your fault. Therefore, he should not have neglilected you with his bad choices of not raising you with love and respect.
2006-07-06 13:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by rightbackatcha! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could affect your future relationships with the opposite sex either by compensating it by being attracted to a guy who is old enough to be your father or not trusting enough to enjoy a relationship. Of course these are all possibilities. I may be able to give more concrete answers --- if I have more information about you.
But all things being considered --- I think it is about time to gain insight about the past--- a move towards ---- eventually healing these memories.
2006-07-03 00:18:13 · answer #6 · answered by Edgar V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are many ways it can affect you, but the worst is if you start looking for the same kind of men in your life - distant and rejecting. If you find yourself attracted to the opposite, to men who love you deeply and respect you, than your father's behavior hasn't done too much damage.
Take care and all the best
2006-07-01 14:24:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lalasamayi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it's great that you told lady bird off, first of all. what she told you is not comforting and i think your question did not deserve that kind of answer. i know what it feels like to receive that kind of answer and it does not help. i feel bad that you had to hear that because your question is sincere. now to answer your question:
i think that it would affect you, especially if you still have anger towards your father. i don't know what your current relationship with him is, but if you two talk, i would tell him, if you haven't tried this already, that you are still upset about the relationship you had with him when you were younger. i would hope that he apologizes.it may have affected your development, and it probably did. just watch out for possible excessive neediness and things like that in your romantic life. good luck clearing this up.
2006-07-06 14:42:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You impress me. You are using logic to assess your relationship skills. A very good sign that you are aware that you may be predispositioned to certain types of behavior. "Know Thyself" generally attributed to Socrates. is a good way to "get-it-together".
It's my guess you may harbor distrust in relationships with men because of the fear of abandonment. Many women deal with this feeling. It's almost a requirement of our gender.
Check in with a family counselor to help cleanse yourself of this personal angst. They are good listeners and can help you work through the anger.
Good Luck Good Health
2006-07-03 21:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by Ding-Ding 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful of the kind of men you hook up with; some will expoit the hell out of you if you go looking for a father figure.
2006-07-06 14:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋