am i being desperate on him?

Question

i am in love with a straight guy that i worked with.
he has a girlfriend, and he knows that i get jealous whenever he is with her.
but i just kept quiet, i never really tell him how i feel because i know that he will never love me and i am afraid to lose him.
instead i try to give him everything that he needs. since he work for me, i prepare all his meals. i gave him bonuses, and shop for him. i worry alot about him even on small details.
i gave him a key to my other house which i heard from other people he used to bring his girls.
he tells me that he is ashamed of me and my orientation but there are also good times. weeks ago, he had been violent to me, all of the sudden he pushed me and nailed me on the floor. that appalled me because it made me think about where i went wrong. but i forgive him and still nothing changed. i am still in love with him. even from a distance. is there something wrong with me? and am i so desperate?

Answer 1

Yes, there's really something wrong with you!! You set yourself up for failure....you might as well spend those money you waste hired a straight gigolo!!. It's not love..it's call obsession..the more you cant have the more you want...worst your mind start imagining and exaggerating everything and every move about him.....Wake up!! ...when you put someone on pedestal, it's no longer a real relationship.....it's acting out your own insecurity , low self esteem and low self respect......A real relationship is on an equal footing...the way he sees you and treat you like a lunatic!!

Answer 2

wow! First thing first you are gay and he is not that right there is telling you something there is no match between both of yous.Also if you proceed in trying to turn a straight guy you may be asking for trouble in the long run. Unless you know he is bisexual.
If I was you I would be careful on what you chose for a boyfriend you may be looking at the wrong guy and get something that you are not ready to face. some guys will put a hurting on you just because you thought he was gay or let you love him in such a way a woman would. some guy may set you up just to take advantage of you and do trouble thing to you in the long run. Not trying to scare you just remind you what you are ask for and what you are trying to do.
Remember what is straight should stay straight unless it decide to turn itself. That way you remain safe and a friend not a person in a body bag.

Answer 3

I know your pain, kind of? I am currently in love with someone of the same gender too, but I am not sure of their sexual orientation. I'm too afraid to ask, because I don't think he'll answer truthfully (or it will be the answer I need). It's really heartbreaking. I think that you are seriously being walked over, this person clearly doesn't care too much about you or not in the way you do for him. He seems violent, I know that this is really not the answer you want to hear but I think you might have to give up being friends with him. It's going to hurt like hell but I think that that is your only option at this point. If you don't you risk being seriously emotionally hurt by this person.

Answer 4

You sound like anyone else who is suffering from unrequitted love, gay or straight. You tend to forgive the people you love for lots of things, even the hurtful ones. If he is straight and you can never have him, it may be hard but you need to try to move on. You are making yourself suffer more to hang on like this, and I would not call it desperation but it's not healthy for you. Also don't let him take advantage of you, if he knows how you feel he may try to use you, and that will hurt you more. Good luck!

Answer 5

Yes, you are being desperate. Obviously you suffer from low self esteem and tend to be drawn to types that are distant and that will definitely hurt you. This is not only being desperate, but self-destructive. I was right where you are now, and believe me, things will never work out with a straight man, especially if he's violent. NEVER. It would never work even if he were gay.

Answer 6

As a straight man, I can honestly say that NOTHING on the face of the earth is going to persuade this guy to entertain a romantic relationship with you. You say you are afraid of losing him. You don't have him. Period. Find someone more receptive. Pursuing this is only going to cause more damage to yourself and the friendship you say you have with this guy.

Answer 7

Please don't get into anything with this man. He's violent and your not desperate. Your jus lookin for love in all the wrong places. You cant blame him for not liking you because he's straight but he cant blame you for being gay. Thats jus the way things are. Go and find somebody that is more available to you. I can relate because something similar is happening to me, and I know it's not eaisy. Find hope again.

Answer 8

You may have an obsession problem that can come from a past of rejection or not being accepted.. something along them lines..

You have to put logic first. not feelings. you need to realise this person is making a fool of you and is using you. Try websites like gaydar and faceparty to meet new people.

You need to cut your losses and move on Xxx

Answer 9

A) Get over yourself.
B) get over him.
The thing is, people like you are the ones who give the rest of us a bad name. There is a reason we don't hit on straight people, it begets hatred and violence (as you have seen first hand). Move on with life and find somoene who can give you what you need in return.

Answer 10

Everyone wants the things they think they can't have.If it was the other way around and he was doing everything for you he would not be anyone you would care that much about.The best thing to do and the hardest is to cut him off and tell him the only way to get you back is to be the only one in his life and if that does not work it was not meant to be.Good Luck...Joe