why is it hard for men to deal with pain from their childhood.?

Answer 1

Men are born with genes and raised by the society teaching them not to show their feelings no matter what (unless he has a death wish). Showing any emotion is considered for some of them as a sign of weakness that can never be witnessed or known by anyone. They live all of their lives knowing and fearing that if they'll show that they DO have any emotions, they'll be shut off from the rest of the male population on the planet. It's similar to the warrior going off to the battle field without an armor--he won't be able to live long enough to see the end of the battle. Being hard, cold, and emotionless is the key to living the life of the warrior only in the modern world. However, when a woman comes into his life... Well, let's just say some men can't quite figure out just what is it that women want and how to respond to her in the right way so that way they won't be called every name in the book just because they made a little slip up by not smiling at her, failing to listen to her (or, not understanding what she's saying--two different levels of understanding), or even being way too serious... How many times have you heard: he's just not listening to me. Or, why can't he understand me? Sound familiar?

Same goes for dealing with any type of pain whether it's emotional, psychological or physical... It's hard for them to realize that they were defeated in any way, shape or form, as well as coming to terms with it is at times literally impossible. Dealing with a childhood pain or trauma of any kind means to open up old wounds and look at where they've "failed" in protecting not only themselves but also those they love and care for. If he feels that he's responsible for whatever he "failed" he'll either shutdown, close off or destroy any mental contact he has with the past event. He'll feel pain and all the emotions that come with it, and that's the hardest thing to do for him. He can feel it, but it can't quite register in his mind that it is so. Hense, it takes a man a day or two before he'll be able to put the newly-found emotion into words so that way others (especially women) can understand him better and clearer... He's just not designed for that by nature. He just has to learn what it is to feel emotions, feelings, pain and suffering. Even though it'll be a hard thing to do and will take a long time, he will be able to do so eventually on his own terms once given a chance and time, and treated with patience, love, kindness, care, and understanding.

The beautiful thing about all of this is that when he says those simple and wonderful three little words "I love you," he trully means them from the bottom of his heart and soul. It's not easy for him to express himself in any way, especially like that, but when he does... it means he can finally at his own personal inner level recognise the emotions and feelings that are tied with that statement. It might have taken him a long time to come to this (after weighing rights / wrongs of the whole thing), but they carry a lot of meaning when it's said in the way that makes a woman's heart skip a beat or two, when she hears them and sees the man of her dreams actually say it to her and mean it. When it comes to marriage, when he decides that it's time for him to ask her the most important question of his and her lives, it can mean one major thing (out of so many other ones): He wants to share his life with you and let someone in into his heart, that before was sealled off from everyone else. Most importantly he wants his lady to know that underneath all that body-built and the image that he projects outside, lies a heart that of a man who's just as loving, caring, gentle, understanding and is capable of a lot of things to make everything work out perfectly and willing to do things that he wouldn't normally do (all that and more)... and he wants her (one in a million) to be the only one to see it.

Answer 2

Because we are really gentle creatures under all of that man exterior beats the heart of a really nice person and houses all of our feelings and emotions that we do not dare put on display for fear of being less than a man. society teaches us that.

Answer 3

What Stickman Said.

Answer 4

Not only men, women too.

Answer 5

Try to focus on the "positive things" about your life and your goals.

Answer 6

Only when we are High.

Answer 7

because we are men and we are taught to hold it in.

Answer 8

'Cause we are very sensitive beings...