well... I love this guy that I will marry . my mom wont let me marry him before the wedding day. me and my feancy agree to go to the court to merrid before the wedding becouse prepering for the wedding going to take time. so he said why dont we get mariid and we will take time for the wedding. in fact Iam not going to have sex even we are marrid until the wedding day. but my mom wont agree. becuse she said if I marrid him with out the wedding. he can take me with him enytime becouse IAm ganna be hes wife. ligaly and they cant say no.I dont know what to do I love him and he loves me. I really dont care about the wedding or party or enyting I just wanna be with him and Iam afraid that my family will say no and I will lose him. should I listen to my family or just marry him no matter what. please people tell me what to do.
2006-06-22 12:18:46 · 17 answers · asked by heregoagain_1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Guess what honey.... you are going to have an entire lifetime ahead of you to be together. Just slow it down and try to find out what makes you happy in life besides him. Love can sometimes blind you... but remember... hindsight is 20/20. Take this time to enjoy your life NOT married because one day, you will miss it. And it may come sooner than you think. Don't rush... you will see soon enough.
; )
Give your mom the respect she deserves... she knows what she is talking about.
2006-06-22 12:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by boxergirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honey this is your life. Listen to me I have a boyfriend that I love dearly. We've been together 3 years and soon we are going to marry. I want a wedding but he wants to go to the court house. But either way this is our life and we decide. That is how you should see it. He will be your husband and yes if he wants to lay with you then you cannot deny him of that. Your mom might not agree but its you who has to marry him not her. An dit would be wrong to make him wait for you until a wedding when you have already became one. so think for a min. Take time out to think. Do you really want to wait for a big gathering . do you really want to wear a white dress and walk down the ale. Or do want to get this done and over with and just marry at a court house. Not every girl dreams of a wedding. Think about that.
2006-06-22 19:25:16 · answer #2 · answered by junclekitty86 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl Slow Down!
Honestly, it seems like you are racing against a clock and why? If he really loves you he will wait till time is right to get married. Some times planning a weeding and going through the process is good so you do not rush into things. I have seen it all (experienced too) sometimes doing things quickly is good; sometimes it is best to slow down a little.
I know you are going to do what you are going to do. See what you are going to see. In my opinion you should take some time to plan the wedding even if it is small and enjoy the moment. You have the rest of you life to be with him, physically, emotionally, etc…
2006-06-22 19:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by latina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would seem to me that you're rather young (read: immature) and therefore your parents sound as if they have your best interests at heart. However, if you are of the age of consent (i.e., over 18), then you can do whatever you please. I don't see what waiting for a big wedding will do to prevent your fiance from moving away with you after the ceremony, versus getting married in a civil ceremony. Either way, once you're officially married, you're partnered and can go wherever you choose.
Personally, I would stick it out and wait for the ceremony your parents would like you to have. Look at it this way: if your marriage doesn't work out for some reason, wouldn't it be good to have a place (and loving family) to go back to if you need it? If you get a quick civil ceremony, your family will be totally p!ssed off at you and you will have no support if you should need it.
If your man doesn't want to stick it out till the big ceremony, then honey, he ain't worth spit.
2006-06-22 19:23:29 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to have a wedding why would you still get married before in a courthouse? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of having an actual wedding?
It's gotta be your decision and I admire you waiting until you're married to have sex. Many more families would be still be entacted if they had done the same.
2006-06-22 19:22:18 · answer #5 · answered by chariot804 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's the hurry? You are already planning the wedding what's the rush? Is he pressuring you to have sex? You really have to go with your gut feeling. If your man would leave you because you wait until the wedding then it doesn't sound like love to me.
2006-06-22 19:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by ctlnmcgahey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU!!!??? he will consider your mom's feelings too. and not have you make this decision.
you love him and you love your parents and you dont want to lose either of them.
if he loves you, he will give you the wedding day you deserve.
and life with him will be grand by having this proper wedding first.
yes, weddings take time, and knowing each other takes a lifetime of committment and compromises on both him and you.
tell him you want the wedding that your mom wants for you.
and if you really care for me and respect me, which I know he does. then he will wait and not rush by going in front of justice of the peace.( a quick wedding).
please take the time and plan the wedding, if you dont you will lose both of them. and lose yourself too.
you will regret this, so plan carefully and take the time to plan with your mom. give her the peace she deserves and wants the best for her girl. give this to your mom.
please. wait.
2006-06-22 19:29:49 · answer #7 · answered by cats3inhouse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young Lady, first its spelt fiance, and married.... (HINT: Please use Spell Check)
Coming to the point.... I think you missed out a few vital clues... Whats your age??
Why is your mom stopping you?? And did you say your family is going to say "No". I thinkf for once, you will need to sit up and pay attention. They are seeing something you are not.
Trust me, I know, I was in love with this girl for over 3 years. Mad head over heals kind of love. Would not, nay, never listen to anyone or anything that she was not the girl for me, My parents were Dead against her, but i was blinded in love. I would not take no for an answer. But when she cheated me, 3 times, I learnt my lesson and took it lying down. Today I met a girl who loves me for what I am and I, her.
Most of the times, we refuse to listen to our inner voice, but when our parents speak, it is our inner voice, outside. Listen.
I want you to sit down and discuss things with them. It is OH SO EASY to be in love and go against the whole world, but you never got to pick your parents. And remember blood is always thicker than water. End of the day, it is you, and your inner voice that would be together. Your parents are your Roots and Wings.
Your parents brought you up so impeccably that your boyfriend loves you.
Give them a little more credit than this.
2006-06-22 19:31:42 · answer #8 · answered by stillfreezing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie,
You sound very young. Please don't get married. I know that sometimes parents just don't understand, but as you get older and go out into the "real" world, you will realize that your parents were really smart and not dumb at all. But only life teaches you that.
You must grow up first. You will experience so many things and you will learn so much.
2006-06-22 19:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by Frecia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It only kinda sounds like you just wanna get married to have sex with him......And you guys should proly wait bc even if you guys do really wanna get married but think of the rest of your life you will be married stay unmarried for a little while longer.....You might like it but newayz so what your heart is telling you the most....But respect your mother with all you have....
DO NOT DISRESPECT HER ONE BIT MISSY....hehe....lol....GOOD LUCK
2006-06-22 19:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋