Is there a stage you go through in your 30's and is it normal to go throughIm misrable stage?

Question

is it normal to go through a misrible stage in your 30's ? here's the story im in my 30's and just finishing college which is a big accomplishment for me, but im still not happy because ;
1: I want to live like a 30yr old but i cant because school is expensive and i cant get my won place
2: I have been going out with my boyfriend for 7yr and he doesnt say anything about moving on because i have a part time job and we only see each other 2 times a week because i dont have a car right now and i wonder if its me who will ever be capable doing the money thing in a adult life.
3:I feel like im never going to get a good steady job too move on with my life
4: I wish i fit in with the other 30's who i work with i alway feel like people see me as younger and when i say im 30 they alway thought i was 20 and i know i need too change in some way .
5: I want to fit into a life of a 30yr old every time i see someone getting married or having kids it kills me because i want to be there

i want someone to feel the same about me even if i dont have a lot of money right now and i have a good job when i graduate
6: I ended up liking someone and i think he know and i dont know if i should of done that because its is in my work/school place
im never like that but it just happened.
7:Im just mirsable about everything and i know i need to change some how but its just hard because of school and my car situation.
8: Im always doing things the safe way and what should be right instead of what i want to do.
9: I know i shouldnt be such a shy person especally for a 30yr old
10: I wish i wasnt so shy and over concise around people and maybe if i wasnt i would fit in better with the 30yr old or other people

Answer 1

It's especially frustrating waiting for things in life to begin. When I was in my 20's, I was working hard and working hard at school; there was always looking forward to moving on, and people would always tell me things were going to be ok and things were going to get better. They don't tell you that some times no matter how hard you work that things can sometimes just not work out. This can be called a midlife crisis, but the reality is that sometimes you get false starts and you have to start over, and that change isnt immediate. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, if you want to be married and have kids and he doesnt, you may just have to find someone else. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

I think there is a miserable stage you go through when you hit 30. But i think its only a year maybe a year and a half. When youve finished college and found a job you like (or one that makes you rich) things will probably change. No 3 Dont feel like your not good enough for a job. If you turn up on time ,everytime (your boss will allow for the odd late time ) and your reliable, honest and try your best then everyone will want to employ you. (enthusiasm may not move mountains, yet it sure does alter peoples opinions about you.). No 5 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce. so dont rush into things. Im 41 and single and looking at men again, Having kids maybe the bit that you think your missing. someone who will always love you and you will love them no matter what. Have you not got your mum or dad that you can snggle up to until things feel better?

Answer 3

What is "miserable"? "Miserable", like "happy", is a choice. If you want to be miserable, you'll find no shortage of things to look at and say, "SEE, SEE...my life is miserable! I don't have THIS... I don't have THAT....THIS isn't working....my friends are all doing THIS....etc..."

That's what your post sounds like. Don't get me wrong: you get to feel the way you feel. You get to choose to be happy or miserable. AND...I make up that there should be some balance in life. Instead of just focusing on what's not happening, how about looking at what IS working in your life:

- You're finishing college. Do you know how many people would just love to go to college?

- You can AFFORD colllege. Do you know how many people can't afford school because they're working or don't have a job or can't get financial aid?

- You have a boyfriend. How many people WANT to be in a relationship and have no one?

- You've been in a relationship for 7 years. How many people wish for that level of commitment and consistency?

- You have a part time job. How many people are unemployed who would LOVE to have a job?

Here's the thing: you're focusing on some other place / time. Your attention is NOT focused on where it should be: here and now. I'm not saying don't make plans. I am saying don't focus so much on some future date or expectations that you completely miss what's happening in your life RIGHT NOW.

If you're truly unhappy with where you are, then ...

1) What do you want?
2) What does that look like?
3) What would you have to do / be to get it?
4) What will you do to create that starting now?

You get to complain. You also get to take repsonsibility and do something about it.

I wish you Peace.

Answer 4

Im 34 and miserable too. Maybe its a mid life crisis?

Im married with kids, its not all its cracked up to be, believe me. Its bloody hard work.

I feel like im floundering around with no direction, and no future. Ive got no money, we cant afford the simmplist things in life, and sometimes I wonder if we would be better seperated, we could sell the house and not have so many money worries hanging over us.

Oh god, i sound like a right moaner!

I think I miss my late teens and early twenties where I had no kids, mortgage etc, I could do what i wanted when I wanted, stay out all night, flirt and be flirted with, jump in the sea off the end of a pier just cos i felt like it, streak at a cricket match (not one of my better ideas - I got arrested) drink all night long, just do my own thing.

I definitely miss that being in my 30's.

hope you find some peace and resulution, I havent any remedy for you, just wanted to let you know u arent the only discontent 30 year old!

xx

Answer 5

Sounds to me like your complaining more than you are doing something to change....i'm sorry if i came on to you a little harsh, but this is how you make it sound.
Look, i'm gonna be thirty in 2 years, and i haven't accomplished anything that i could really be proud of either. But i am making steps towards achieving what i want. My advice to you first of all is to throw away all the negativity.....if you want something you should go and get it and there is absolutely no excuse why you can't.
You said you don't think that you can get a full time job? why? i don't see a reason why you can't ........ you have a college degree right now and you can get a job....there are people without a college degree who can still get a full time job so i don't see why you can't.
If you believe that you are ready for marriage talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him that you want to settle down and have children....most men are commitmentphobic, and unless you mention it to him, he might never know.....
Third...please don't victimize yourself..you are not a victim of circumstances.....you lead yourself to where you are right now...what you should do is find a way to change it...make yourself an exit plan of the life that you don't want.....and follow that plan....but also be flexible to change the plan according to your needs....NOT WANTS...in order for you to be able to successfully accomplish it...
you can, and you will if you put your mind, heart, and all your work to it.......
Good luck