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I am 8 weeks pregnant and a mother of three. I have no money, no job,no car and we live in a two bedroom apt. It seems like I can and will never get my head above water, and I feel like the last thing I need is another child, but the father feels different. He wants the baby. I dont know what to do. I cant afford an abortion but adoption is out. Please help.

2006-06-22 10:36:02 · 30 answers · asked by tamjasnaieli 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

30 answers

I can't tell you what to do. That's your choice. Don't listen to anyone but your own gut/instinct - what is best for you and your family.

The father of your child has no control over your body. Only you. You do what feels best. Good luck and I hope things get better.

And don't listen to SillyGirl - girl sounds like a anti-choicer...notice how she changed terminate to exterminate. She's already judging you. J_nick, too. Ignore them. They are already attacking you and your morals. Be strong.

Get educated on ALL of your options. Adoption, Abortion, keeping the child. All of them. And think about it. This is such a hard choice......and I am not going to pretend I know. I don't know your life. All I know is that's your life and your choice and I am not judging you.

2006-06-22 10:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by ProfessorFarnsworth 4 · 2 3

If you can't do adoption and you can't make a proper life for the child, abortion is your best bet. Follow that up with consistently applied birth control, or you'll never get your head above water. If the father is against that idea, ask him what he plans to do to make your life better than it is now. Can he get a better job? Is he the father of the other kids? If not, does that guy pay child support? If he doesn't, then you should resolve that issue through the state. If the current guy is the father of these kids, he must know how tough it already is. Sit him down and explain it to him.

It's YOUR body. It's the next 18 years of YOUR life, It's YOUR predicament. You have no guarantee this guy is going to be around to help raise the fourth child, so if you don't feel you can or should bring another child into your situation, don't.

Good luck.

2006-06-22 17:43:11 · answer #2 · answered by zartsmom 5 · 0 0

Maybe, you can set up an arrangement with your father. Could you get a loan maybe even from him? Try to get a job.. or are you still in school? I don't blame you for not wanting to give the child out for adoption, but in this situation i don't know if abortion is the answer. How old are your other children? Also do you have a husband or are you a single parent? Is your father the only person who wants you to have the baby? Could anyone else maybe watch your children while you go get a job saying you don't have money for daycare? For now i would wait until you can afford another child before you are active again with men. Please let me know what you decide to do, and if you need any other advise I'm always glad to help! e-mail is the better way to contact me :) You will get through this one way or another.

2006-06-22 17:50:55 · answer #3 · answered by maxchica12 2 · 0 0

Take some time to yourself and just think about it. I'm 6 months pregnant and there are moments I don't feel as though I want it, but then I remember how great it is to have that little newborn looking up at you, depending on you to love her and take car of her. If you can't go through with an adoption and don't have the heart for an abortion, then just do what you can to get through it. There are a lot of places out there that will help you get on your feet and will even pay for permanent or non permanent birth control to protect you in the future. They will also help you with child care so you can go to school and get a good job so that in a few months money would not be an issue for you. When I had my first child, I was lost. I wa in the same position only with less children. But now thanks to lots of help, I have a degree and a great paying job. My children have everything they could ever want. I know it sounds like crap, but everything happens for a reason, and as long as you stay positive nothing too bad will happen to you.

2006-06-22 17:46:15 · answer #4 · answered by epiphanyofmylove 2 · 0 0

You have 3 beautiful children, and it is my PERSONAL belief that you were sent another for some reason....and if you end your pregnancy you will never know. There are ways to get help, you have to ask until you find it. Then get birth control immediately. Yes, terminating would be easier, but heartbreaking. I don't know what state you live in, but there is government help out there, and there are also people who will help you just because they're good people. Other women have done what you're doing, so can you. YOu didnt' specify if you are married to the father or what your child support situation is....if any. This is not about "your body"...it's about a child and your mental wellness. Guilt is like a ton of bricks ya know?

2006-06-22 17:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by paintgirl 4 · 0 0

It's very unfortunate that you are in the situation you are in. I really feel for you. I used to be in a similar situation. I have three kids and at one point, no money, no car, no job. Not because I didn't want to have any of these things, I couldn't afford daycare.
I went to the county office to find out what programs they have for single parents. I went through a two day program and now I have daycare paid through the government. That is what it is there for. I now have a wonderful, well-paying job, a new car, and I can care for my kids on my own. You have to explore all of your options before considering ending the pregnancy. You have to get motivated for yourself and your kids and make a life for yourself. Do not wait around for it to happen because it won't come along that way. If you decide to keep your baby or not, have a plan that you are going to stick to and go for it. Don't depend on the system because you have to be self-sufficient.

2006-06-22 17:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by barbramaq 2 · 0 0

You need to think long and hard about this one girl. I had recently had a miscarriage, and my world came rolling down. I was about 4 months. I;m not the same, and i will never be the same. Just imagine you killing yours. you would not be the same either. You think having 3 baby's, no car, no job, no money and living in a two bedroom apartment is hard. Doing that is harder. Take it from honey, that baby is a blessing. you probably don't see like that now, but trust me it is. God send that baby for a reason. You will find that reason out later,just don't worry about it. God got your back. Just pray and he will see you through. Be strong sweetie.

2006-06-22 17:50:19 · answer #7 · answered by helenblessalways2 1 · 0 0

I understand your concerns, but you need to remember that your situation is not your unborn baby's fault. He or she hasn't done anything to deserve death. You would never let anyone hurt any of your born children, so why would you pay someone to hurt the unborn child inside you?

I really encourage you to go to a crisis pregnancy center right away. You can find one near you by visiting http://www.optionline.org All of their services are free, and they can help you with all of the challenges you're facing. They can give your free maternity and baby supplies and help get you signed up for financial and medical assistance. They might be able to help you find a better housing situation, too. They'll be glad to talk through all of your concerns with you and will give you lots of love and support. Many centers also do free ultrasounds, so you can see what your beautiful baby looks like.

At eight weeks, your baby has little fingers and toes, a beating heart, and recordable brain waves. He or she can move in your womb, suck his or her thumb, and feel pain.

You can see photos of unborn babies at 8 weeks by visiting: http://www.justthefacts.org

You can also see photos of 8-week-old aborted babies at: http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html

It's important that you see the truth, so that you will have the strength to do the right thing.

I know you feel like you don't need another child right now, but the fact is, you HAVE one. He or she is just small and hidden right now. Please protect your baby. You will never regret it.

2006-06-24 14:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I agree this is your choice, way your decision carefully and a think of the future of your family and try not to absolutely cross of adoption. There are a ton of people out there dying to have a baby that can afford and love a little one...please keep this as an option.

2006-06-22 18:56:46 · answer #9 · answered by jpickrell1199 2 · 0 0

Why is adoption out?

I definitely wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. How do you know this baby won't grow up to be the first female president of the US, or the scientist/doctor who discovers the cure for aids? Babies are expensive, but there are ways to cut costs (generic diapers, formula, medicare, foodstamps). Let me ask you a question...do you have cable TV right now? If so, that's what...$65- $70 a month? That's your diaper money there.

Please give this baby a chance.

2006-06-22 22:18:07 · answer #10 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0 0

Ok I would like for you to email me. I am here to help out all young ladies whom feel they need help with their pregnancy. If you want to give your child up for an adoption that is a hard thing to do but to terminate the baby that is not an option. I would tell you this if you ever need help with your new born email me I am a true woman of God. A God fearing young lady who wants to see mother succeed in life. I tell you this pray and let God help you always keep him first. Nothing is impossible for Christ Jesus. Keep smiling and stand strong. No weapons formed against you and your family shall propser saith the LORD....... God Bless You and your family....

2006-06-22 18:38:26 · answer #11 · answered by Prophetess Teresa w 1 · 0 0

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