i.ve been hurt before,i ve got a good man,and having trouble letting him in,and showing my love back that's inside me
2006-06-22 10:13:22 · 17 answers · asked by bless 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Take it one day at a time. If he is a good man, he will show you over and over again that he truly is. Let him in a little at a time. You'll be just fine.
2006-06-22 10:20:01 · answer #1 · answered by Simply Lovely 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deanna, I have been with my huband since I was 16 years old. It's been a while. We both have hurt each other and sometimes don't know how to get on good terms again. Unfortunately, the only way I will begin to heal is to give myself a little at a time. Unless we do that we will never know our true potential as far as love and relationships go. Always remember though, you make the unacceptable acceptable. Look out for that. Don't ever say "I can't believe your doing this to me." Instead say, "You are not going to do this to me." There is a big difference between the two.
2006-06-22 10:31:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sincere 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, you cannot go back and undo the past. But if you continue to dwell on past hurts, you will never be able to move into the future. You've got to find a way to let the past go, and move forward. It's not always easy, and once you've been hurt, you're afraid of being hurt again. That's okay, but don't let the fear of falling off, keep you from enjoying the bicycle ride.
2006-06-22 10:19:21 · answer #3 · answered by wild1handy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that it can be hard to get past the wrong that has been done to you.But you have to.If you dont, the past guys win!That means they got what they wanted.Do you think that they are miserable for the way they have hurt you?NO!But yet, you cant get past what they have done to you.Hardly seems right, does i?Do what you need to .See a counselor, if thats what it will take.Everyday when you wake up, talk to yourself in the mirror.Say"I was hurt badly from men in the past.But that's what it is....the past.I will not let them hurt me anymore.I will go on.I have a georgous, loving, kind man who wants me and I will give him the chance to make me happy.I deserve it".Maybe if you keep drilling it in, it will stick.Good luck!Dont make him pay for the others mistakes.
2006-06-22 10:23:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good grief..it is as simple as STOP IT! Open up your heart..what in the world are you afraid of...being hurt???? Well, you can live your life that way, but you will certainly miss the dance along the way...not me, I prefer to put it all out there, if I get hurt, it is the price of the pleasure of love. Big deal..I have been damned near killed by pain, but I rise like a phoenix and go for it again.
2006-06-22 10:20:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling first and you need to heal from the pain from the past and this will take time. my wife was just like you are when i first met her. She had trouble letting me in but when she did it was beautiful and we got really close. I was patient and waited for her to heal and to trust me. It took time but was well worth it. You will heal with time like my wife did . Right now you are afraid of getting hurt again but you have to remember he is not the same guy and that he deserves a chance. hope this helps you some today:)
http://www.marriagetoday.org
2006-06-22 11:17:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past and if you don't learn to let go you are going to lose a great guy. If he treats you good and he has been patient with you and everything like that then you have to realize he isn't going to hurt you like the last guy did. So let go and have a good time with the guy you have.
2006-06-22 10:19:09 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is the past...if he is a good man you need to let the past be the past and be happy now.Take it slow.One step at a time.With love you always take a chance getting hurt but you should always try to love like its your 1st time...you never know when it will be your last
2006-06-22 10:18:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that YOU played a part in the past TOO!
Quit feeling like a "victim" and accept that you helped shape all this baggage you're carrying. Give yourself enough credit that you've seen bad times and that you're smart enough to have LEARNED from them.
Tell him the TRUTH about what you've been feeling. Then tell him you're ready to move forward and ask for his help and forgiveness. He'll be blown away.
Now- walk the walk, time to be happy...
2006-06-24 04:49:02 · answer #9 · answered by R J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you have unresolved issues and you haven't deal with them. As a result, you have not conquered your fears and therefore your fears of being hurt leave you with your wall up.
the only way to love again is to deal with your fears and to know that no matter what happens, you will be able to take care of yourself and your feelings. Only then will you feel safe to love and to be loved. It's not easy. I recommend some counseling. counseling is an amazing tool that helps so much. Use it!!! :)
2006-06-22 10:26:47 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. Phil-lys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋