my hubby was seperated w/ex-wife for quite some time. she was seeing someone then. my hubby was still treating her like a wife emotionally. he wanted to work it out, but she didnt. so, one day she got pregnant and told him it wasnt his.he got hurt and upset and finally gaver her the divorce that she always wanted. he moved on w/his life. eight month later, she called him up and said that child was his. To make long story short, he took her words for it (w/o DNA test) and pay her child support...$500 a month eversince without court order. she doesnt let him know where they live and he's not allow to see her. every month, he put money in the account she gave him.
2006-06-22 09:51:34 · 22 answers · asked by preston 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him to get a paternity test and demand to see his child. Did she really even have a baby?
2006-06-22 09:55:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he actually care for your feelings? Do you have children together?Are you planning to have children together?
He would have to pay child support, if the child is his biological child after DNA test. However nobody can prohibit him from financially supporting his ex if he chooses so. In your case I really would worry about your relationship. I could be wrong but sounds to me that he is still hoping for his ex. May be you both should go to the counseling. You can make more money to help to raise the child but I think what it is the most important in this situation- you are being made to feel that you are not the one. Please, work on your relationship before it is too late.
One more thing- are you actually sure that there is a child, have he ever seen the child? If he is seen the child, are you sure she did not borrow the child from somebody to get the money. I hope he is not a victim of "non-existing child" scheme. And how do you know that you are not a victim of some phony story from him? May be he is using this money to cover some other bad habits. I think you really need to look into this story even if this sounds way far fetched but stranger things can happen in life.
2006-06-22 10:01:08 · answer #2 · answered by mini golf blonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the most obvious answer to that would be a DNA test.And also a man doen't have to pay child support without a court order.If I were him I'd stop paying until I went to court,then he could tell his side of the story at why he wants a DNA test.They won't order him to pay until it comes back whether or not he's the childs father.Unless he has signed the birth certificate,then they might make him pay until the results come back.No offense to all the ladies out there trying to get child support,but I think it's wrong to pin it on one guy when it's another guys child.I also think it's wrong to keep kids from seeing the other parent,unless of course there is good cause for it.
2006-06-22 12:07:54 · answer #3 · answered by dismalrelic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say that there is anything in writing regarding the monthly payments so.. there is no legal obligation on his part. If he stops paying, and she takes him to court... I would have his attorney ask the court for a paternity test based on her inconsistent statments. If possible, he might want to attempt to get a copy of the child in questions birth certificate to see if she put his name down, her lovers, or "unknown." Could be some good ammuntion for his attorney should it go that far.
That's is my opinion of the legal obligations (**Disclaimer.. I am not an attorney nor do I play one on TV**)
Your hubby may feel a moral obligation to the child. Not knowing for sure of the paternity he may be choosing to err on the side of supporting a child that is not his own as opposed to not supporting a child that is his. Talk to him. Ask him what his reasoning is for paying and share you concerns openly, honestly and non-judgementally. I've been there (paternity test proved it wasn't mine) and it may be the same internal struggle I had.
Also, with regard to the visitation issue. No visitation should be equated with no support. If she is refusing to let him see the child or know their whereabouts... chances are... the child isn't his and one look at the child would let him know this.
In sum, I would consult a local attorney and get some solid legal advice for your jurisdiction and support him as much as you can. I know how rough this can be on a person.
2006-06-22 10:02:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he is not obligated unless it is written down by the court in a court order. He should have a DNA test done and have the court review it to ensure that he is or isn't the father. Even if he is the father, taking her to court, could lower that $500 a month down to about $200. Always get a DNA test done. Best of luck.
2006-06-22 09:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by cordsweat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly your concern is warranted. He would not be a "bad" father by requesting a paternity test before he sends any futher money. He also has a right to see his child if it really is his.
His emotions are understandable, but it's very important for him to take some action. If this is his child it sounds like that child is really going to need his presense as much, if not more so as the money.
He is not helping the child by blindly abiding to her demands. Just because she is the mom doesn't mean she knows what is best. A dad is involved in the whole life.
And if its not his, its fair for him to be able to move on with his own life without guilt.
Blessings to you both (and the wee one.)
2006-06-22 10:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should get a DNA test done. Why is he paying support for a child he doesn't see anyway? Once the child is his he can then try to build a relationship with his child, he has that right. A child needs a father more that he needs money.
2006-06-22 09:57:24 · answer #7 · answered by stacy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is crazy to believe the child is his, without a paternity test. He should pay NOTHING more until she has a court order ordering support. The kid may be his, but, could well be somebody else's responsibility. Don't allow his lousy judgement to cost your relationship money. Proof is simple, and should be prsused.
2006-06-22 10:02:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's being VERY silly then. I know my kids are mine without any doubt but I wouldn't pay one penny child support if my ex refused to let me have visitation rights. But you hubby is paying without even knowing for sure that the child is his. That's just plain stupid. She's laughing up her slieve at him. And to make it worse, She's probably getting child support from the other guy too! Did he think of that at all!!! He needs to wake up to what's going on and stop the payments. That will tell a story because she will come back looking for payments again or she will see that he's cottoned on to her. Talk to him and tell him your fears but be sensative because he's probably feeling very confused and hurt right now.
2006-06-22 09:59:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First question - no you will not be obligated unless you legally adopted the children. Second question - no, her remarrying does not stop the other parent from being responsible for paying child support.
2016-03-27 01:19:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he want to see the child? He should take her to court and get a DNA test done to prove that that child is his. By law she cannot stop him from seeing his son and if he takes this to court and if it is his kid he can press charges for kidnapping. Or call Maury Povich. He'll help.
2006-06-22 09:56:07 · answer #11 · answered by rosebud1320 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋