I am about to burst into tears...?

Question

I just started a new job and have been working here a month. I am a reserved quiet person, so I come in go to my cubicle do my work and talk to a few coworkers in passing. My boss seems to have a major problem with me, from remarks made to e-mails sent and my project manager just came in and called all the ladies in her office (except me) and gave them all new projects. They treat me as if I am invisible... I don't know what to do without being too deep into my feelings and becoming unprofessional. Please help.

Answer 1

baby girl, it happens to most of us @ one time or another. don't let it bother you. otherwise, you'll take home the problem too. say this "what ever" it'll make you feel better.

Answer 2

Whatever you do, DON'T CRY at work. You'll never live it down.

First of all you must use the proper chain of command. Go to your immediate supervisor and ask, "How am I doing so far, is there a problem with my performance" and then shut up.

Your supv will either say yes and you can ask specifically for ways to improve or your supv will say no and you can open up about what is bothering you.

First, since you're a newbie, why should you get a new project? Especially if you're still learning the ropes and by your own admission struggling in the area.

Second, you need to overcome your shyness. Unfortunately in some social circles shyness translates into elitism and its possible that your co-workers think you think you are above them.

Third, stop being a victim. You blame them for treating you as if you were invisible, yet YOU are making yourself invisible by choosing to hide in your cube.

Stretch yourself. It's a big world. Be a part of it.

Answer 3

I feel your pain. It is hard to be in an environment where you are not respected. Has something happened that has caused you boss to loose faith in you? Was she not the hiring manager? If there is no cause, then you should have a chat with HR. Discuss your feelings and tell them that you are being alienated. If you have only been there a month, start looking again or try to see if other opportunities that you explored are still available. I don't see this situation getting better, only worse. Fix now by getting out or getting the company involved. Maybe even try a one on one with your boss or ask the HR person to be present as well.

Answer 4

Well, you need to understand that being reserved and going in and doing your job may not be enough. You may think it's a good quality but they may not. they may feel you're not a team player, you don't work well with others, you can't handle more work, whatever. I'm not trying to make you more upset, I am just trying to get you to see their side rather than saying "what do I do".

The FIRST step to ANYTHING in life is understanding it, in my humble opinion. So understand that how you see it may not be how they see it. You ought to talk to your project manager one on one. Try this: " when you get a minute, can I talk to you". at that time, go in and say "Listen, I just wanted you to know that I'm the type of worked who's a bit more reserved and i put my nose to the gring. Sometimes, that might be interpreted differently by others. I am a team player so if there's other responsibilites you want me to take on, let me know". And that's it.

If the management has a problem with you, they should be professional enough to tell you, after all, that's why they're managers. If they're not, than you have to push them to tell you but don't get defensive and be open. Your reserveness can be misconstrued and you need to know that.

good luck

Answer 5

You are the new kid on the block,sort of speaking,you just keep being on time,being officiant,and keep smiling,holding your head high.Eventually,your co-workers and your boss will show you reorganization that you will deserve.Don't worry about what others might say or how others might act,that is not what you are there for.You were hired there for the performance that you can offer as a team member.If you have a stressful day,then go to the ladies room and have yourself that cry,then straighten up and get back to business.People like what you are describing,i am sure they went threw the same as you are at this moment.So don't worry!You will be fine.I hope my encouragement helped,because it is a fact,you were hired for your credentials.So be proud of your accomplishments.You take care and Good Luck to you!

Answer 6

if you are that way then your treatment at work is bcuz they're unfamiliar with you. you don't socialize, you're not outgoing you're just...there. I have the same issues with that but I try to focus on being a team player. sounds corny right but you're there to work first. once they see you are capable and willing to do work then you'll get the projoects. it's simple to say but just be more outgoing. they'll never know who you are what you're capable of without getting to know you. it's hard but take small steps like saying hi FIRST b4 anyone else says it to you. go to lunch with some others or bring in some doughnuts for everyone once in a while. the only thing more important than doing well at work is being liked at work. I'm not sure how long you've been "in the field" but you'll soon find out that people who are more outgoing will get the raises, promotions and projects over those who sit in the cubes all day long. and these people could be the worst employees but since they are well known, well liked it kind of makes up for that. don't EVER ask your managers face to fac how they think you're doing bcuz they will lie, ALWAYS. that's there job. they'll always say something like you're doing great or just simply yes. they'll never offer improvements or pointers. and from this confrontation you'll immediately pop up on their radar. if they have to remind you that you are not performing your job effectively then you immediately become a liability and asking them in person brings that up front and in your face. work your way in subtlely. besides, you've only been there a month, it takes time to warm up for everyone.

Answer 7

You're probably just a little paranoid 'cause its a new job... Make an appointment with your boss and project manager and ask them how they think you're doing? Let them know what you like about the job and how much you've learned. Ask if there are any areas where you could improve. Then tell them that you really like working there and ask for more or different duties if that's what you're seeking.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like your boss is the problem! You sound quite shy and not very confident, which unfortunately is what twats like your boss thrive on....an easy target to bully!
Confront him, tell him that if he doesnt start treating you the same way as he treats the other people there, then you will go above him to have the problem sorted?! If he continues to be a complete as$.....look for somewhere else to work, somewhere that will appreciate you and tell your boss to poke his job where the sun dont shine, for your finishing act, casually walk up to him when hes alone & punch him in the chops! No witnesses so no proof?!
Good Luck! xx

Answer 9

The quiet, the shy and the reserved are ALWAYS overlooked! That's all there is to it...Either you stay that way and accept the fact that you're gonna be overlooked or either break out of your shell and become noticed...This is not only in the workplace, it's in everyday life...I don't mean to be harsh, it's just real...Quiet people just get no respect...Is there any particular reason you're quiet and reserved...A lot of people say they're shy, but most of the time it's some sorta of insecurities about themselves that cause them not to feel good enough about themselves to be outgoing....

Answer 10

You need to assert yourself. Nobody can mistreat you without your permission. If they see that you're wounded, they will just go in for the kill. You've got some tough calls to make Kiddo. Step out of your comfort zone. I'm sure you're a very nice person, but sometimes people mistake a "quiet", "reserved" person as being unsociable, cold & withdrawn. You have to put forth the effort.

Answer 11

I was once in a similar situation and I used my time to find a new job and now I am much happier. That is the worst feeling, being invisible at work, and if you can't see it changing with time (ie. a promotion or moving departments) then I think you should call it a day.