Should I feel uncomfortable about my boyfriend's 2 year old coming in to bed with us?

Question

It bothers me a great deal. I just feel like i need something that is entirely ours and that our bed is sacred. Is this so wrong?

Answer 1

No, I don't think you are being unreasonable. Many doctors don't recommend that you allow children to sleep in your bed anyway.

And to those ******* calling you a bit*h, you are being a good step-mom by setting boundaries! Don't listen to them.

Answer 2

Yes, you should! First off, a 2-year-old belongs in his own bed/crib, not in his parents' bed. Second, no child should be privy to either of his parents' sleeping arrangements. You should be concerned that this dad has so little regard for the message he's sending his toddler, who will grow into an impressionable child, then teenager. Third, if for whatever reason you don't want to share a bed with someone else's child, spouse, roommate, dog, or porcupine, that's your prerogative. Tell him you don't want to share him, then stop doing it. I recommend you not spend the night at his place at all, but at the very least, not when his son is there. Invite him -- and him alone -- over to your place and do the deed there under your conditions. Simple. If he thinks otherwise, you should rethink this relationship.

Answer 3

Your jealous, and you feel somewhat left out of their relationship cause he's not yours. Honey your ready for children just not other peoples children. However you are being a bit selfish and with that I can tell you, your ready for your own baby. Take time to get to know him cause he's apart of your boyfriend. You can't love him and not his seed. Be honest with yourself and ask is this what you really want???
Or would you rather start a family fresh with someone else???
We often step into relationships thinking we can handle anything it throws at us. Then we find ourselves in a jam we didn't anticipate.
If it's love between your friend and you, you have to love the child besides who couldn't love a 2yr/o. Even though that is the worst time of childhood 'the terrible twos'.
Be patient and pray GOD answers all..
GOD BLESS

Answer 4

yeah the 2 year old should have his own space. so let u're voice be heard. sympathize with that the child will need adjusting to not being in your bed.. so set up routine... announcing bed time... telling the child what a big boy or girl they are becoming, reading a book with them, laying beside them when the light are out for a 'lil bit' and again announcing to the child that now it is time for everyone to go to sleep. reassure the child that you are in the next room or where ever it is and nightlights should work too.

Answer 5

the child must have his own room and bed for his and your personal well being ,but if it happens he comes from time to time to visit in your bed ,nothing wrong is just a small child
but where is his Mommy???he maybe is missing his mom
how would you fill about the same situation but the kid is your and a stranger is coming between you and the child and he makes new rules in your house
i think it will be better to live this family to find a better person for a step mom

Answer 6

You are right in wanting to have a place that belongs only to you and your partner. And maybe it should be your bed.

But in this instance you should ask yourself why the toddler wants in.
When you have determined what the problem is you will have to deal with it firmly but lovingly.

Toddlers are testing their limits and if you let them do something you don't want them to do it will become a habit; however, just saying no and telling him to go is going to create feelings of rejection.

If the toddler wants time with Daddy, you have to make time that belongs only to the father and child; if the toddler wants to spend time with you, consider yourself fortunate, make a special time for the two of you and enjoy it.

Answer 7

yes it is ice queen, a few points for you to remember:
1. its an innocent baby
2. you shouldnt be in bed with him anyway, your his GIRLFRIEND,close up the shop until you get married, watchout he might get u pregnant...then your two year old might be in bed with the next girlfriend
3. kids need stability, i wonder how many bf and gf this child has seen you all need to grow up, and youll never be number 1, the baby will so get over yourself and stop being selfish
you shouldnt have gotten into this relationship if you werent strong eonough to handle it...

thats what happen when you give up the good before you get married, KIDS GET HURT AND CONFUSED, SO STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR SACRED PLACE(LOL) WHEN YOUR ONLY A GIRLFRIEND AND THATS HIS BABY, HIS BLOOD, YOUR REPLACEABLE THE BABY ISNT, REMEMBER THAT

Answer 8

Well technically, the bed is more his two year old's than it is yours. You did say "boyfriend" right. You didn't mention how long you've been with him. I say get over it, because two is a stubborn age, and i'm sure there'll be MANY MANY more night in the bed with "daddy" before he grows out of it. My boyfriend's daughter is 9 and she still insists on sleeping with her dad.

Answer 9

Well as long as you are not having sex while the child is in bed with you two-it's alright. I would feel that once in a while is ok,but more than that is not ok. Yes you should be able to feel that way about it, though.

Answer 10

In a realtionship where the other person already has a child you will NEVER come first. EVER.

You should move on and find someone that can put you first for a while before children come into the picture.

Answer 11

Be gentle. It's his kid. If he's to choose between you and his kid, he would certainly choose the kid. So, go about it by telling him that for the kid to have his own bed and not be independent on us is healthy for his future and it's better to train him to stay in his bed so that he won't be dependent on us so much. DO NOT approach it in a straight way by telling him the truth about how you feel; however, I have a feeling he already knows and is just ignoring your feelings. So, approach is systematicly.