It started off as a friendship and is becoming more i can't stop thinking about him. I love my husband but i want him bad. switching jobs is not and an option. help me.
2006-06-22 08:41:36 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
wow you guys are tuff. I'm going to take all these comments into consideration. I'm staying prayerful and in the word. Just needed a kick back to reality thanks Guys
2006-06-22 08:53:54 · update #1
You and him are both married. There should be no questions about the issue. When u got married, u agreed to love and honor your husband til death do you part. So if you want to be an adultress then go ahead but i think thats shady. The other guy also is being shady.
2006-06-22 08:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by andrea lynn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of the answers were "reality" as you put it. God just saved my marriage. I didn't listen to all the warnings and I did hurt way more people than I thought I would. I give all the praise and glory to GOD for opening my eyes. I, too, said I was staying prayerful and seeking God, but I let the Devil have his way, because I couldn't control myself. It was and is lust if you are married. There is a bond that is created by GOD when you marry someone and that bond can only be created again if you remarry, but the only excuse for divorce according to the Word of God is adultery. So, my husband has all rights to divorce me, as will yours if you follow thru with these temptations of yours. DO NOT mess up a good thing. It is not worth it. That is the truth!
2006-06-22 16:02:56 · answer #2 · answered by JD 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have your cake and it it too, my dear. You need to put a stop to this before everyone gets hurt, and I can assure you that is exactly what will happen. If you love your husband as you say, then why are you betraying your vows? The grass isn't always greener. Say you left to be with this other man...would he leave his wife and be true to you? Or would you both cheat on each other, given the track record the 2 of you have? If you do love your husband, knock this crap off and be true to him. But if you don't, you need to set him free so he can find someone who will be faithful and not run around on him. Take some time to yourself to do some soul-searching. You need to figure this out before you keep making it worse.
2006-06-22 15:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by SuperJenn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some respects, you're asking the wrong question. The issue is not what to do about wanting this man, but rather when and how did your husband stop being the number one man in your life? You must consider a second question: when did your life become so truncated that you easily lie to yourself? You see, it's a self-deceptive lie to claim "I love my husband," but "I want him (another man) bad." Psychologists call that cognitive dissonance, or the ability to believe mutually contradictory concepts without recognizing the irreconciliable clash.
You must, then, confront the greatest possible human battle--you must struggle with yourself, and find the truth within. Consider these questions:
1. When you began to love the man you married, did you understand that by its very nature, love is self-sacrificial?
2. When you agreed to marry the man you said you loved, did you understand that in marriage two become one, and that you no longer have singular control over your body, but you agreed to share this with your husband, as he agreed to share his previously singular control of himself with you.
3. Do you now understand that the process of being in love and being married are sacred trusts that when you violate them you do irreparable damage to yourself and all others?
4. Do you realize that this man you want,who claims to want you, wrestles with the same challenges as do you?
5. Do you understand that to "have" each other is not an act of love, which is giving, but simple lusts, which is "getting."
6. Well when you "get" him, what will you have? A man duplicitous and deceitful, willing to violate sacred trusts to indulge raging lusts.
7. Do you remember that without the mutual emotional commitment of love, sex is like a predicted snow storm. You never know when it's coming, or how long it will last?
Besides, what a tragedy it would be to risk your marriage only to discover that sex with this man is far better in anticipation than it is in reality!
Think long and hard, searching inside of yourself for the strengths you need to do what's best for everyone.
2006-06-22 16:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by mcjordansr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you really need an answer to that?
When you said your vows you made a promise to be faithful to your husband. Would you want him to throw that all away when a beautiful woman walks his way? Didn't think so.
If you act on this and don't tell your husband, it will eventually break apart your marriage or at least pu serious cracks in the foundation.
2006-06-22 15:50:25 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if your husband had an affair on you? If you can live with the guilt and not loose sleep over it then go for it... But that would take a pretty cold person to be able to do that!
2006-06-22 15:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by Funny Lady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything stupid right now it may hurt your marriage, especially since you say that you still love your husband. I don't think you have feelings for this guy at work I think you are in "lust" with him. If both of you are married and if you know that both of you want to be with each other then you need to separate from your current spouses.
2006-06-22 15:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all develop crushes but right now your on the verge of letting this go beyond that. You need to walk away from this friendship and stay as far from him as possible. From now on if it isn't work related don't have anything to do with him. You don't want to be a cheater and you don't want to be with a man who is so willing to cheat on his wife. Just remember, if he was with you he would cheat on you.
2006-06-22 15:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself if your happy with your hus, then think what if he was doing this behind your back . And is this temp just at work or are things already going on. And must of all follow your heart its never wrong and good luck. Let us know what u do
2006-06-22 15:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him the only way you two can be together is if he gets a divorce from his wife, and you from your husband. take a firm stand and tell him you wouldn't want to be the type of woman he could cheat on his wife or you cheat on your husband. decide who is more important to you, your husband, or the co-worker. is the relationship more then physical appearance?
2006-06-22 15:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋