Question to pregnate women.?

Question

I am 35 weeks pregnate and me and my husband are seperated. We have been since October and there are times that we get along and times that we don't. We already have one daughter so we try our hardest to be friends for her. Well, back to my question, I am 35 weeks pregnate and am schedualed for a c-section on the 14th. Well, my husband has not been here for me throught the whole pregnacy and he has not made up his mind if he wants to be in the surgery room for me. I kinda feel like I need someone to be in there for me since I am going to be having major surgery. I want him to be there when his baby is born but I feel like he should be in there to help support me and not just be there for the baby. I just want to know what other women would do in this situation. Would you have your future to be ex-husband in there or someone else you know is going to be in there to help you get through it?

Answer 1

Having him in there is the nice thing to do. It will also cement the bond between father and baby. Ask if you can have two people in there with you. Perhaps they will let you.
Stick with it. Don't listen to all the morons that will be telling you to stay with him for the baby.You sound sensible and like you are willing to cooperate with him for the welfare of your children. Good job!

Answer 2

A c-section is very stressful and sometimes terrifying. You need someone in there that will be complete support for you.If you feel he will be then yes it should be him, but the first thing you need to worry about is yourself and the safety of you and your baby. Everything about you in surgery impacts on the baby. You need to figure out what is best for you and the baby knowing what you know of your soon to be ex do you think he can be supportive and mature in this most critical time of need. If you do then you also need to voice to him that this is important and if he can not conduct himself in a mature way to not even be in there. On the other hand if you feel it will not benefit you or the baby find someone that is there for you and will be there for you. Then tell the ex that you have decided that it is more benifical for you and the baby that he not be in there.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, if he doesn't want to be there, you can't make him. I'm of the opinion that childbirth is a miracle, and any man should be so lucky as to be able to witness his child come into the world. However, lots of men don't feel this way. Keep in mind, too, that how involved a man is in the pregnancy usually denotes how involved they will be in the child's life.

I would talk to him and explain your position. If he still refuses, a sister, mother, or friend will do just as well to assuage your fears during the operation. If there is no one that can help you out, hire a douala. A douala is kind of like a midwife. It is a woman that will be with you throughout the labor and delivery to help you and aid you, and ease the process.

If it were me, I would definitely want someone close to me there, too, especially the father. After all, it's his child too. I'm very fortunate in that my mother and husband will be with me when I give birth in eight weeks. (I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child.)

Good luck, and God bless, honey.

Answer 4

Your husband doesn't deserve to be in there. He is not being supportive when he "can't decide" if he wants to be in there. If you decide on him, he may change his mind about coming in. If he is not sensitvie to your needs (ie. he not sure if he wants to) and this winds up being one of the times you do not get along, he could make this very miserable for you. Pick someone that is totally there for you AND the baby and will truly appreciate the event. He can wait in the waiting room if he's interested.

Answer 5

I went through almost the same thing with my first child 10 years ago. My ex left me for another woman, but wanted to be in the delivery room. For my peace of mind I told him no. I did not need the extra tension/stress/emotional upset that it would have caused. I had my mom and best friend there for me and it was perfect. The choice is yours to make, but I think that if you have anyone else that is close to you, ask them to be there with you. God bless.

Answer 6

I would have someone that is going to be there for me too! Not just the baby. I mean it's all good if he wants to be there for his child but he can be there in the recovery room. Sounds to me like he wants his cake AND HE'S GETTING IT TOO! Don't give him the pleasure of being in there with you. You and someone close to you need to enjoy that moment. He can get a camera like I said in the recovery.

Answer 7

Find a family member or friend that would love to be there with you, if nothing else find a doula. Make your soon to be ex wait in the waiting room. If he wants to see his baby, then he will need to make an effort to wait for it. If nothing else, he could watch your daughter in the waiting room until you deliver.

Answer 8

I would have someone who wants to be there. I know how you are feeling (having gone through a pregnancy alone) however you need someone who is there for you. The baby will be fine and you will be happier.

Answer 9

Oh, you poor thing.
I understand your anxiety.

Tell you what, ask your doctor to help you and suggest some volunteer who could be with you.

Your husband clearly showed you he does not care. You prove it to him you can do anything and you do not need his support.

Answer 10

only if you think he will support you!!

for me I would have my now ex in the room with me (and its not even his baby) because he would support me and is my best friend! that doesn't work for everyone though!