Trying anything to stay together....but we are hanging by a thread. If he doesn't go, will it do any good for me to go alone?
2006-06-22 08:03:42 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Been married 8 years and have 2 girls - 3 and 1 years old
2006-06-22 08:05:49 · update #1
I've done that. I thought the counselor was very good. My wife (we've divorced since then) recommended that I seek counseling. She presumed me to be the one that needed help, but no matter, I was willing to try. After 4 or 5 sessions, the therapist arranged to see my wife. When my wife came for conference, she ended out leaving in a huff, because she would not accept feedback that maybe some fault could be on her end. I continued going for my own benefit, but my wife refused any more on her part. We later divorced. But my overall assessment is that I think it can help and I think that if two people go with equal desire to solve problems and work towards a solution, it just might save a marriage. Even though my experience didn't yield the desired result, I feel it was not the fault of the therapist.
2006-06-22 08:10:12 · answer #1 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-23 01:35:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been through counseling and it helped...for about a month, and then we were back to "normal". Marriage counseling actually has an extremely low success rate, but it's always worth a try. If you divorce without trying counseling first, then you can't really look back and say that you made every effort you could...and there's always the chance that it'll help. As for you going to counseling on your own, YES, absolutely do that. You need to make sure that everything's right in your own head whether he wants to do the same or not. Chances are this will propel you into a divorce even faster, because he's going to feel intimidated by your new sense of well-being, but you're still going to be better off. I'm sorry for you, it's never easy and especially when there are children involved. Your children are young, though, I think it's best to get these things resolved early on. Best of luck to you.
2006-06-22 08:18:16 · answer #3 · answered by partlycloudy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No they are not all quacks but i have to say something here. The secular counselors and people like that do not teach your forgiveness and to stay together but the Christian counselors usually do and it makes a huge difference in the way the counseling is done and it cuts down on wanting divorce. my church counsels many people and helps them alot. Go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email them and ask them this question too and see what they have to say or tell you. They may be able to help and lead you to the right kind of marriage counselor and if you need to talk i am here. Also most people dont really listed to what the counselor is saying or advising and they want to do what they want to anyway and dont change and it ends up in divorce. You really have to want the help and want to change things in the marriage to make it work.
2006-06-22 10:34:28 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I went through marriage counseling. The therapists were GREAT! and saved our marriage. We had a baby a year after we completed the counseling. Oh, and yes we are still married and very happy.
2006-06-22 08:07:30 · answer #5 · answered by bluskygreengrass 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to marriage counseling. They are not all quacks and quite frankly I'm not sure why counselors have gotten that reputation. If he doesn't go you can still go and possibly learn more about yourself to help better the relationship.
2006-06-22 08:06:17 · answer #6 · answered by jshepard17 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to all the above. You have to be willing to shop around thoguh. Counselors are people and there are a mikllion ways to "deal" with emotions so if the counselor is not workign or is nto a good personality fit then move on- be careful not to switch cause you don't like what they are saying- last thing you want is to go to one that blows sunshine where.... anyhow. Counseling also does not work unless you allow it to and are complety honest with him/her. Folks think they are quaks cause they think they just have to sit there and listen and the perso wil magically fix them. You have to put into practice the processes that the counselor tells you. If you are nto honest and do not practice then its just wasting your money. Counselors do nto heal people people heal themselves the counselor simply listens and gives professional advice.
2006-06-22 08:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not marriage counseling but to a weekend Marriage Encounter and it totally changed our lives, that was when we were married for 7 years and were ready to divorce. Feb.'07 we will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Try it it won't hurt.
2006-06-22 08:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by chickidee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I enjoyed marriage couseling. It gave me better communication skills that I benefit from even today. Our relationship improved tremendously.
I divorced the idiot though, after marriage couseling I realized that I deserved better than that.
It's worth the try, besides, couseling is not about putting fault at one of you, or to judge why you are there, but rather to give you the skills to communicate better and to work in the relationship.
Good luck
2006-06-22 08:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't go, not much chance that he's willing to invest in your staying together. So go it alone and work on yourself. Always good to have someone who can look at things from an unbiased position and help you put your life in perspective. Not to mention, some one to talk to.
2006-06-22 08:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by lmdragonldy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋