How do one change their core value when all the value they have know all their life is wrong??

Answer 1

Congratulations, you are on your path to enlightenment. The first step in any attempt to improve the world or yourself is to accept that what is currently known and accepted may possibly be wrong.

Throughout pre-school, kindergarten, elementary, middle and high school (in the US) we have settled on a system where we beat individuality out of our children. We've created this system because it is easier to control a homogeneous group of kids and more difficult (and expensive) to control a group of individuals.

The problem is uncovered by most if/when they reach college. In college we prefer critical thinking, and the basis of critical thinking is questioning authority. So all of your previous valuing systems are called into question.

Most people find the easiest way to change their core values is to spend time with people that aren't like the people you've spent your time with previously. You will be forced to see the world through your new friend or groups eyes. Their schema (frame of reference) will offer you a new perspective on your core values. Even if you don't agree with their set of values, it will lead you to your own personal conclusions about what is most important to you, and about what you believe is fair and just.

Answer 2

Changing one's "core values" is more complicated than it might seem. The more important question would be What makes you so sure that the values that this person believes in are wrong? Everyone creates their own values based on the reality that they have experienced throughout their lives. Values are not inherently right or wrong per say. The society that we live in, our family, our community, our country and the world as a whole, agree to uphold certain values, but if you really think about it, the further away you go from your home base (family), the less values you share with others. Consider things like religion, freedom, justice, fidelity in marraige, etc. From a family standpoint, it is likely that everyone will be more or less in agreement with these values, but consider how an Iraqui or a Vietnamese person might look at the same values. It sounds like you might have fundamental differences with this person that might not be easy to resolve. One person can not change another's fundamental or core values. Changing one's "core values" is a very personal experience that can only take place within the mind and soul of the individual when he/she realizes through experience that previously held values no longer suit their own reality.

Answer 3

actually values aren't wrong... if you think what you have known in your life is wrong, then it isn't a value. a value is something that we hold dear that is positive to us. (example - you can value money and invest and spend it wisely without it controlling your life. OR you can become consumed by money. in that case, it is not something you value, but something you worship, almost like a graven idol.)

if you want to instill good values into your own life, try to avoid the negative situations from the past and surround yourself with good and positive people. try getting involved in a church or doing some volunteer work. honestly, if you already know that how you have lived in the past is wrong, you already have a sense of good and evil and you should be able to figure all of this out in no time. gl

Answer 4

I find the best way is to write.
Write what has always been your belief about something.
Then write down what is actually the truth about it.
This exercise is highly simplified here but if you look at the reality of a thing and behave in that manner, you'll find that your emotions will eventually follow that behavior.
To me, values are more of an emotional reaction to a situation and these can be changed.
My mother always told me I didn't know what I was talking about.
I sat down and wrote about things that are true about me.
She was definately wrong.
She was not going to change.
I put a distance between us and try to act according to reality, not the negative brain-washing I got from her.

Answer 5

You need to open your mind to all kinds of new people. Once you start to associate with different people you will see that their are different values then your own. Even if all your life you had bad or not good values...you can always change by trying really hard and start hanging out with different, better people

Answer 6

Get around other people who share the beliefs and values that you find important. If you have to move someplace new and start all over again for a fresh start. Getting away from old habits and bad personalities would help tremendously.

Answer 7

By digging deeper into the core of yourself and realize that the cores with in the core are not all wrong, and reshaping that core to your desire, and then making sure that you build upon that new found core. You dug for gold and found fool's gold before.... Now you must search deeper to find the real gold... Indamist

Answer 8

Therapy may help.

Start with doing one good thing a day. It's never too late to turn your life around. Just stick with one day at a time. Your self value today, is much better than it was the day before.

Rain, sun, or snow, do one good thing a day. Even if it is eating better for yourself one day. Or for a stranger.

Answer 9

what do you mean by this?

do you mean your inner morals and values?


if you find that these are faulty, or have cracks in the foundation, then you already have changed them.

as long as you can understand why they were wrong, you have already taken the first step to fixing it.

you need to decide what the better way is, just do alot of thinking, in the shower, while you drive, while laying in bed, etc.

you will just know.

Answer 10

Realization, positive influence, cognitive thought constantly-instead of doing things out of habit, time, don't get upset if you mess up-but learn and realize you're making progress, learning what is right. I suggest occupying your mind with positive thoughts for a while, in any spare time(maybe by reading positive influence and morality books, or go to counseling).