My brother is recently divorced with custody of his two children ages 7 and 9. I would like to give my brother advice..he has been depressed lately. His heart is broken. He came home early from work and found his wife in the bed with another man with the kids playing in their room. He said he could not trust another woman again....I realize time heals...is there anything else you recommend I say...family members babysit for him when needed (working late etc...but he never goes out)
2006-06-22 07:48:32 · 10 answers · asked by Pammie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Not sure how long ago, he is lucky to have custody, we have 50-50 custody. It was not his fault, he didn't choose a bad partner, his partner chose to be bad. I actually thanked my ex for the divorce even though it has caused some rough times, I think family should take him out, just start slow, out to dinner and a movie, go out dancing once a month or so, just so it brings back some memories of good times in his life. I am a single father of 2 of the best girls in the world, 10 and 12 years old. When we divorced they were 7 and 9, I don't understand the selfishness of divorce, or the lack of love for the family. But tell him to hang in there and not to work his life away, he doesn't need to be the richest guy in the cemetary. Good luck and if you want to talk more email me at wolf1230pack@yahoo.com
2006-06-22 07:57:47 · answer #1 · answered by wolf1230pack 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It really just takes some time. You might want to find some male friends of his to take him out and do some guy stuff, like golfing or watching a movie, poker without any hint of looking for another woman. He is going to need to establish a good routine for himself and the kids and that just takes some time and trail and error. Don't push him to do anything he is not ready to do and just be there for him when he comes to you for some advice or help.
2006-06-22 07:55:57 · answer #2 · answered by willinkc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sucks. It's natural to be depressed in his situation (as long as he's no suicidal). Not going out is normal too, it's very hard to start over. If he has some friends see if they can take him on a "guys night out". That might help but it's going to take a lot of time for him to get anywhere near "normal" again.
2006-06-22 07:58:23 · answer #3 · answered by Coz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think what you're doing already is great. Spend time with him, the more he sees that YOU'RE a good woman (even though you're his sister) the more likely he'll believe that there are more like you out there. We all know what it's like to feel betrayed, the best medicine for him is caring and understanding from his friends and family.
Good luck.
2006-06-22 08:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will hurt a long time, but you must allow him to talk and tell him that his life will only get better..cause it will. Do not press him to date, he needs time to be alone. Tell him to take care of the kids, and the things (hobby) he likes to do...do them...keep occupied and soon he will find he is better off without the slutty, cheat.....Also, tell him, it happens everyday...been there done that...
2006-06-22 07:54:13 · answer #5 · answered by ndmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there when he needs you. Same thing happened to me and time only can heal that wound. When he is ready to move on, help him not be bitter towards women.
2006-06-22 07:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He need more time to get rid of his feelings ,donot talk with him about his ex-wife ,try to talk about other things ,trips & travelling may change his depression.
2006-06-22 08:01:02 · answer #7 · answered by sexy_32m2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeh ive been through the same thing here latly. i guess the one thing that got me through it was some really good friends that truely cared about me it took me about 6months to get over it but finally happened. oh also i gave it over it god and let him take care of it .
2006-06-23 02:16:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT'S HARD TO TRUST AFTER THAT.MY BOYS ARE 3&2.IT'S GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME.JUST BE THERE FOR HIM LIKE YOU HAVE BEEN.
2006-06-22 07:51:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs someone to make him go out a friend myself i would kick the other guys azz that would make me feel better
2006-06-22 07:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋